Meet Me At Forever
by Bunnylass
Summary: Final book, in 'The Shock Of A Lifetime' series. Jesse's POV of all his encounters with Suze in 'Twilight'. THANK YOU SO MUCH, Y'ALL! Finished.
1. Chapter One

_**Disclaimer: **_The Mediator belongs to Meg Cabot. I'm just playing with Jesse for a while. I promise to give him back unscathed.** ;)**

_**Rating:**_ T

_**Summary:**_ Final story in _'The Shock Of A Lifetime' _series. Jesse's POV of all his encounters with Suze in Twilight.

_**A/N: **_Hey y'all! How ya doing? Okay, so it's 6th and last book...Seriously, where'd the time go?! But hopefully, I'll do it proud... **:D** Thanks so much to you ALL for reading, reviewing, favin' and ravin'! I truly appreciate every single review, hit and all in between, lol. It's what totally makes this all worthwhile. Especially when I get stuck. But I hope you enjoy this last story of the series. Sorry this one's short, my brain glitched. **:(**

Anyway, enjoy and have fun **XD!**

_**Recap:**_ Jesse reminisces over the past few weeks, including his time with Suze, the move into the rectory and Pauls Slater's shady character...

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_**Meet Me At Forever...**_

It'd been a few weeks since I'd told Susannah I loved her standing by my grave. And I haven't regretted a moment of it. I look to the sunrise on the horizon each morning, knowing that Susannah loves me in return. Allowing the sun's warmth to fill me, just like Susannah's feelings do. And that is all I need. All I could possible ever ask for. Having the girl of my dreams look at me as if I hold a secret only we share. A love only we know. A feeling and sentiment, I would wish on anyone to feel at least once in their lifetime.

I had lived my life, hoping and believing that I would feel something like I do now. Or at least something close to it. But having my life cut away from me so short, left me feeling bereft and afloat. Drifting further and further from what I could call real anymore. Not expecting anyone to ever see, or speak to me. Let alone _touch_ me. Therefore I had given up on ever feeling a love so strong, time and distance could not break.

I wanted to feel something akin to what I read in books. In the fairy tales told to children. In the scene's I would witness when seeing a couple, who looked upon each other as if they were the only people on earth and couldn't be happier. I wanted to feel what they felt. To experience what it would feel like, to have someone look upon me that way too.

And now I had, I didn't ever want to let it go.

If anything, I could feel it grow. Strengthening more and more now I knew Susannah felt the same way. The happiness I wished to see light her eyes was a burning glow, never dulling now. Blazing and shining like the brightest star in the sky when we are together. The true light I wanted to always see, was there waiting for me each time we saw each other. Filling me with such overwhelming feelings, I would often have to remind myself Susannah was finally mine, and I hers. It all seemed too surreal to me.

Her smile was infectious, growing with each second. Her touch sent shivers through me, making me ache to feel more. Her laughs made me wish to block out the rest of sound, and hear only Susannah. Her soft sighs of contentment made me smile broad and proud, knowing she felt just as I do. That I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else in the world, but there with Susannah in my arms. With our smiles banishing the shadows, often trying to surround us.

For the first time in too long, I was happy. Our situation and 'lives' had changed since that day in the graveyard. Since one of the most life altering occurrences to have happened since I first met Susannah. We were no longer tiptoeing around each other or avoiding awkward moments and situations between us. No longer did I get frustrated with not being able to say how I really felt. Or to feel the pain that would try to consume me, each time I dared hope. Or to see the broken shards of Susannah's heart, in the dull, glazed look she seemed to have been carrying since I made the mistake of leaving her after our first kiss.

They were blown away, the moment I told Susannah I loved her.

Now I could look openly at Susannah and not have to withhold anything from her. I can bare all that was written in my heart and soul when I look at her, or hear her laugh. I didn't have to hold back if I wished to hold her in my arms. Or kiss her till she melted, leaving us both breathless and surprised. I could run my fingers through her silky hair and feel it slide through my fingers. Sating the curiosity always burning in me, at how it felt to have her close, and not fear that I was opening myself to more pain and affliction.

I still left her home and moved into the rectory with Father Dominic and Spike. But we still got to see each other often. Sometimes I would intercept her while she was at school. If only to see her for a couple of moments. I would also still visit her at her home. Choosing to sit on the porch roof wrapped in each other's arms. Sharing the view of the beautiful night sky. Something we always loved to do when I was living there. And of course one day on the weekend we would have our, 'Date Night' as Susannah deemed to call it. I didn't care for the title; I was just content to be with Susannah as much as possible.

But as difficult as getting used to the rectory with Father Dominic was, I had Spike with me to keep me company still. I had a small piece of home with me in Spike, and Susannah in my heart to make it bearable being away from the one house and room, that had kept me for a century and a half. Tucked away from the world where I was waiting for my _querida_, my love, to walk into my lonely existence. Something I made sure to give a pray of thanks for each and every day. For the friendship, trust and love to have been granted to me after a long wait.

The days following my leave were the hardest, but I knew over time, it would grow easier.

Although Spike seemed to settle in quickly, staying away from Father Dominic. Not that either ever made a move to pay each other attention. His transition from Susannah's home to our new one seemed to go smoothly for him. But I suspect he would be happy anywhere as long as I was there with him. A sentiment I was more than inclined to return. It was one thing not seeing Susannah every day; it was another to miss my beloved pet who asked for nothing but affection.

I just hoped Sister Ernestine didn't find out about him. I knew he wouldn't last long here if she did. She seemed like the kind of lady, any person would back down from when given a certain glare from her. Susannah being on the receiving end of that scowl on more than one occasion. It was enough to make a proud man wither.

But we had been lucky so far. I only hoped that would last.

I didn't happen to come across Slater too often either. Thankfully we both stayed out of each other's way, should we see each other. I no longer held the torrent of anger I felt towards him since the night our fight escalated. But I knew if he put a foot out of place with Susannah, then I wouldn't hesitate to step in. My rage had diminished, but hadn't completely withdrawn. I knew it never would. But I made the effort to not actively look for him, or follow him when I knew he was near. Even hidden from view, I knew I didn't want to be around him anymore than was necessary to be.

Even if the temptation too, was sometimes a raging battle.

I trusted Susannah to be more careful around him now. I had to remember she was an equally stubborn and wilful person. One who's sense of dependency was always strong. If I pushed too hard, then I knew she would pull away. I didn't wish for that. Not now that I had her with me. She reminded me often she wasn't some defenceless china doll and was more than capable of defending herself. It didn't stop the worry though.

Thankfully the subject of Slater only came up a couple of times when Susannah and I were together. Something I was very grateful for. I didn't think I would have been able to keep the envy and jealousy out of my voice or eyes when speaking of him. I felt safe in the knowledge that Susannah loved me, but I also knew what Paul Slater is capable of. And it never left a particularly nice feeling in my stomach when thoughts of him came about. Especially when he didn't get what he wanted. But Susannah had requested me to stay away from him, and I did as she asked.

Though not without effort.

We seemed to have been lucky the past few weeks when it came to a spirit needing help. Susannah had only had one ghost make an appearance since Craig had disappeared, or moved on. Mrs. Gutierrez. She had appeared on the evening of our date night, startling Susannah and myself and leaving a very awkward moment to occur between us all. Once we had gotten over the stuttering apologies and blushing, I was finally able to understand what the lady was saying. She was quite distressed and shaken. Her frail features seeming even more delicate in the onslaught of her sobbing and shaking frame.

Susannah was quite taken aback at the old lady's words that meant nothing to her. Mrs. Gutierrez didn't speak English, only Spanish. Making Susannah's own distress for the sad lady even worse. Knowing she couldn't help or comfort her, like she would another spirit. The kind words she asked me to pass on with my own; lost some of its warmth and comfort in the translation. But once I managed to get the lady to calm down enough to understand what she was asking, the shroud and weight seemed to be lifted from her slightly more.

Mrs. Gutierrez gave direct instructions of a tin box to be found and recovered in the backyard of her once home, and given to her relatives in desperate need of what the box contained. Money. The spirit was distraught and eager for Susannah to do as she asked. For the money to reach her family and ease her concerns. It was obvious what was holding the lady back; I hoped she found the peace she sought once her task was carried out.

Susannah was silent through most of the exchange. Brooding and worrying all the while I spoke with Mrs. Gutierrez. Being unable to help her directly was making her feel guilty, I could feel it. I knew it was a natural instinct for her to help someone in emotional need. Being incapable of it this time, did nothing to settle Susannah's nerves. I took her into my arms once the lady had left, reassuring her she was doing the only thing she could, by doing as she was asked. That there was nothing more to be expected of her.

But it didn't stop her from feeling her remorse over this fact.

I offered to go with Susannah to help with the retrieval of Mrs. Gutierrez's important tin box. But Susannah gently but firmly declined my offer. Even after I pointed out that it would be helpful should she appear again? But Susannah believed there to be no problem doing her task alone. I knew without asking, that she was adamant about going alone, because she felt she hadn't contributed anything when she had first appeared. But I made the wise choice of not acknowledging this to Susannah.

Choosing to let her do as she saw best.

I never saw the nice old lady after that night. She never appeared to me again, as I had expected her to. Even to have to grant me a thank you. It was odd, but I hoped she had moved on. Knowing that the help she so desperately sought for her family would soon be given to them. Unfortunately this didn't do anything to quell the slight suspicion in me, deep down.

This belief was only solidified when I asked Susannah the morning after she had gone to retrieve the Mrs. Gutierrez's box, if all had gone to plan. Her answer to me had been mumbled and scarce, avoiding my eyes. She had told me someone had woken up and she had nearly gotten caught, so she left quickly. It didn't seem like a complete lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. She changed the subject quickly after, which I relented and went along with. I didn't wish to push her for more information. Only hoping she would ask for help if the situation arose to it.

I kept the silent question of Slater to myself. Somehow I knew he had something to do with the trouble Susannah had had with carrying out Mrs. Gutierrez's plea for help. I knew Susannah was trying to protect me from Slater. Going so far as to offer for me to return back to her home once again. Something I adamantly turned down, given the new change to our relationship. Although even a part of me found amusement in Susannah's unnecessary fear for me, I still acknowledged the deep concern she felt. She claimed often she knew Slater better than I did. That if he said he was capable of doing something, he would.

This still did nothing to change my views of his 'threats' towards me. As long as he didn't harm Susannah, he could throw his empty words and tantrums around all he wished. I wasn't going to rise to it again. Not this time.

Instead, I decided to bide my time and wait. I knew Susannah would mention what had really happened at Mrs. Gutierrez's home, eventually. Until then, I made a concerted effort not to worry about Slater and his shady personality, towards myself and Susannah. I could take care of myself. If there was one thing I was certain of, it was that Paul Slater did not scare me. If anything, I pitied him.

I had the girl I love with all my heart in my life. I had everything I could have ever asked for, considering my own situation. Paul Slater couldn't take that or Susannah away from me now.

So why couldn't I get past the feeling I was missing something vital and important to do with my love?

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_**A/N 2: **_Whoo, I had trouble with this one. My mind kept coming up blank. It's late, I'm tired and I need chocolate. But I hope you enjoyed anyway. Thanks for reading, please review. **:) **Toodles!

_**Anonymous Reviews:**_

_**Meg - **_Hey! Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now we're on to the last book *gasp* But I hope you enjoy this one too. Sorry it's short, but there's plenty to make up for in the coming chapters, hehe. **:D** Thanks again, take care, **x**

_**Coming up in chapter 2: **_Suze seeks Jesse out at the rectory, finally admitting to what really happened at Mrs. Gutierrez's and telling of Paul's latest threat towards him . . .


	2. Chapter Two

_**Disclaimer:**_ Please see first chapter for disclaimer.

_**Rating:**_ T

_**A/N: **_Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I had originally planned on sitting and writing this Saturday. But that was before I got caught in a fight, thrown across a room and jarred my shoulder. And then I was decorating my mum's room and then FF decided it didn't want to allow me on to my documents, blah, blah, blah. Either way, I'm sorry for the wait. I hope this makes up for it and that you all had a good bank holiday weekend **:D**

Enjoy **:)**

_**Recap: **_Suze shows up at the rectory to talk to Jesse, divulging the new threats Paul had been throwing around in regards to him . . .

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_**Chapter Two...**_

I was in Father Dominic's room when I heard Susannah's call. Pulling me away from the thick volume I had found nestled in his bookshelves. If there was one perk to living in the rectory and with the priest, it was the reading material I had at my disposal. Having had all knowledge and fiction taken away from me for a century and a half, I was using every opportunity I had to catch up on all that I had missed.

With Susannah and Father Dominic's help.

It had been awkward for both Father Dominic and me when I had first arrived here. Finding an even ground for us both seemed to take longer than I had hoped. Father Dominic being a man of the cloth, made me wary of what to say when around him. Or think sometimes. As absurd as I knew the notion of him being able to hear my thoughts were, it still made me wary and cautious. Something he soon picked up on and reflected back to me.

I knew Father Dominic doesn't have any children. So I knew there was a part of him that wasn't sure how to treat me. I could come and go as I pleased; there wasn't anything he could do to stop me. But I sensed he was a little unsure how to treat me. The idea of him giving me a certain time to be back or to question where I was going was laughable. But it was little notions like these that I knew he wasn't sure whether to ask or not.

It finally took a subject of a book I was reading - one that I questioned to him like I used to question Susannah - to break the mould between us. He enthusiastically spoke with me about this and many other things for hours. The conversation flowed easier and more relaxed than it had ever done since I had known Father Dominic. Finally he started to relax more. Something I was grateful for. I didn't wish for him to be uncomfortable in his own home.

Just as I hadn't wanted Susannah to be, when I first met her.

The debates that would progress between us were one's I eagerly looked forward to often. Sometimes our opinions would be the same, sometimes they would differ. But there was never an awkward silence or air around us after. Now we could sit in each other's company, without the need to fill the quiet.

It was refreshing to find how much we both had in common. I never spoke with Susannah about it, because I knew she found it strange. Her principal and mediator mentor, and her 'boyfriend' as she labelled me, were getting along so well. I knew she preferred not to know, so I didn't divulge it to her anymore than was necessary.

Father Dominic's interest in history was always an open topic between us. His questions and queries into what life was like in Salinas County a hundred and fifty years ago often held him in rapt attention. He soaked up my descriptions and answers like a sponge. He could never seem to run out of steam. Question after question he would put forth.

I was more than happy to fill his curiosity. I sometimes found myself worried that I would start to forget what my life was like so long ago. The ideals, laws, way of life. My family, friends, pets. All seemed to draw away from me further with each year and new era. Being able to go back over my memories and dreams was making them clearer. I felt more certain they weren't to fade away completely. I never voiced this to Father Dominic, or Susannah.

It was something I wished to keep to myself.

Father Dominic's questions didn't just end at what my life was like. They progressed to asking what it was like for me to 'live' through and experience all the changes to have come to the world. The good and the bad. Even going so far as to ask what_ I_ thought of all the differences that had happened. I acquiesced that some I enjoyed and some I didn't. I knew I would never be able to fully accept the ways of now. For twenty years I was brought up the way a proper gentleman of my time should. I couldn't imagine ever continuing my time here and not abhorring to the values given to me when I was alive.

But being with Father Dominic, talking and enjoying his intellectual company, helped to ease the disconnected feeling I had been experiencing since I left Susannah's home. It took my mind off of Susannah. Always wondering where she was, what she was doing. If she was safe. I never felt so anxious when I was living with her. But now we were apart more, I couldn't help but worry.

I had been in Father Dominic's room for the past few hours. Reading, losing myself in a tome to help pass the time and ease into the next day. I was alone and would be for a while. Spike had gone off somewhere earlier on in the evening. And Father Dominic had been called away to San Francisco, because Monsignor Constantine was in hospital in a coma. Due to an accident, no-one would ever have expected. He had checked up on me before he had gone to let me know. So now I was by myself, trying to fight away the boredom and slight feeling of loneliness.

That was when Susannah had called me.

I heard her voice ring clearly in my mind. Echoing softly, making me smile instantly. Although curious as to what she might want at such a late hour. There were no recent spirits to make her stay out so late other than Mrs. Gutierrez. And as far as I knew, she had moved on already. So I threw out my senses, trying to decipher where she was.

I found her closer than I had originally thought. I soon appeared beside her outside the rectory in the vegetable garden. Amused to see her throwing small pebbles at the window that is Father Dominic's room, looking around her in case someone heard.

"Susannah," I said, making her jump slightly from not expecting my instant appearance. I held back the urge to reach out and take her into my arms. Trying unsuccessfully to be patient. "You don't have to bother with these," I continued, knocking the small pebbles from Susannah's hand. "I knew you were here. I heard you calling."

There were thin tendrils of tension coming off of her in small ripples. I have always been able to pick up on small underlying currents of unease and trouble when with Susannah. To any other person, it would be undetectable. But not to me. Our connection and my knowledge of her are too strong, for her to be able to keep anything from me. At least anything of a large magnitude.

"What is it, Susannah?" I asked, stepping out of the shadows of the rectory behind me. Giving Susannah a better chance of seeing me. I saw the flicker of light in her eyes that always seemed to appear when she saw me. No longer hidden from me and all mine to cherish.

"Just stopped by to say hi," She cheerfully answered. Shrugging off my small concern, her breath coming out in puffs of air before her.

"At three in the morning?" I asked again, raising my eyebrows in humor at her excuse. One that was reason enough for me; not that I let her know that. "On a school night?"

I saw the catch in her eyes and slight grimace. But she tried for a different tact anyway. Not giving up so easily. "Father D, asked me to pick up some cat food," She said, raising her hand and brandishing a bag with what I assumed was holding the aforementioned items. "I didn't want Sister Ernestine to see me smuggling it in. She's not supposed to know about Spike."

"Cat food?" I repeated, my increasing humor lacing my voice. At least until it turned teasing. "Is that all?"

I didn't wait for an answer to a question I already knew. I reached forward instead, pulling Susannah into my arms. Fitting her to my chest and wrapping my arms around her in an embrace that was protective and secure. I felt her relax and melt to me instantly, resting her cheek against my chest. Her own arms coming around my waist to hold me. I could feel the slight tremors racing through her, believing it to be down to the chill in the air.

"You're cold, _querida_," I whispered into her hair. "You're shivering."

She didn't answer me and made no move to leave the space in my arms. Taking her lead, I didn't push it, knowing I needed this moment as much as she evidently did. It had felt like so long since we had seen each other, when in fact, it had only been a day. Instead I tightened my arms more and let my head drop down to her shoulder, hearing her sigh and feeling her soft breath brush over my skin.

I felt the warmth of her body infusing my own. Making me feel so content and happy, I couldn't wish to be anywhere but here. I knew Susannah felt the same way, I could feel and see it in everything little touch and look.

We could have been standing there for hours, neither of us would have noticed. Susannah safely ensconced in my arms. My hands gentle stroking her soft hair down her back. But eventually I pulled away, looking down into Susannah's sparkling green eyes. Blazing with a look reserved only for me.

"What is it, Susannah?" I asked my voice thick with unsaid emotion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She lied, trying to stay in our moment longer. I wished we could too, but I knew this was just as important right now. I wanted to get to the bottom of what was troubling her. I didn't like to see her in any small amount of distress.

"Not nothing," I replied, removing a strand of hair that had got stuck to her lips. "I know you, Susannah. I know there's something the matter. Come."

Releasing her from my arms, I took her hand and led her over to her mother's car. A place where she would be warmer and away from anyone that happened to notice her standing outside the rectory's vegetable garden, talking to herself.

"The _car?" _Susannah exclaimed when she noticed where I had led her. Staring at it with a look akin to disgust.

"You're cold," I firmly told her, not taking no for an answer. I opened the driver's door, allowing Susannah to slide in. "We can talk inside."

Once she was in, I closed the door and met her inside. Finding myself sitting in the passenger seat, turned towards Susannah giving her my full attention. But Susannah had other ideas, if the way her hands sliding around my neck were any indication. I seized them quickly, knowing that I wouldn't be able to concentrate or remember what I was going to ask, if I continued to let her actions play out.

Instead I put her hands back in her lap, fighting the smile wanting to appear at the look of consternation on her beautiful face. "Tell me," I firmly prodded again.

Susannah sighed, looking away from me and out the window instead. I could see the frown on her face reflected back in the glass, making my concern rise slightly more.

"What is it, _querida?_" I softly asked again. Reaching out to brush her hair away from her face; gently stroking my thumb over her cold cheek at the same time. She turned to look at me, finally meeting my eyes. The look I saw explained it all to me. There was only one person I knew that made Susannah look so fed up and dejected. The one boy I loathed and detested.

"Oh. _Him_." I spat, pulling my hands away and sitting back in my seat. This time I turned away from her gaze to look out of the window. I knew I hadn't kept the jealousy and ire out of my voice. I tried to summon the guilt and remorse for acting so possessive towards Susannah. But I couldn't and I didn't want to either.

"It's just," Susannah said, breaking me away from my thoughts. "Paul's been . . . worse than usual."

I whipped my head back around at her answer. My eyes burning holes into her, the white hot anger to suddenly blaze in my chest was one I had come to find familiar when thinking or dealing with Paul Slater. And the shock and weight of her words only served to make it worse.

I tried to catch her eyes again, but she was resolutely keeping them from meeting my own.

"Worse?" I asked my control in careful check. "Worse in what way? Susannah, if he's laid a hand on you – "

She cut me off before I had the chance to finish though. But it didn't take much of an imagination to realize what I was implying in regards to Slater and him ever touching Susannah. The murderous thoughts to suddenly come to mind were only mollified by Susannah's next words to me.

"Not that," She interrupted quickly. "What I mean is, lately, he's been threatening . . . well, to do something I don't really understand. To you."

Instantly my anger dispersed and was replaced with amusement. I couldn't help but find humor in the fear Susannah carries in regards to Slater's meaningless threats towards me. Even more so, that she had chosen to come and tell me straight away. I saw no danger to myself from him. I knew I shouldn't have found it funny, because Susannah was obviously very concerned about it. But Slater's threats to me, I could brush aside and laugh at. If they were threats towards Susannah on the other hand; I wouldn't be sitting here right now.

I would be finding Slater and renewing my own warnings on him.

"So you came rushing down here," I said smiling. "In the middle of the night to warn me? Susannah, I'm touched."

"Jesse, I'm serious," Susannah said, looking at me with her own fire in her eyes. I could see her determination to make me understand. "I think Paul's up to something. Remember Mrs. Gutierrez?"

"Of course." I said, trying to make sense of why Susannah would bring the distressed old spirit into the conversation concerning Slater. "What about her?"

Susannah rapidly spilled what had happened when she had gone to Mrs. Gutierrez's home to carry out her final request. Finally answering the questions I had burning away in me since her mumbled answer to my curiosity. Explaining why she seemed distracted lately. And of her unconvincing lie of what happened when she had gone.

She told me of how she had found the stone, Mrs. Gutierrez's money was supposed to have been stored under. Only to find there was nothing there. That was when Slater had made his own appearance, brandishing the tin box holding the money that was supposed to have been given to Mrs. Gutierrez's relatives, which were in dire need of it.

She continued on, telling me how she had tried to convince Slater to hand the money over, so Mrs. Gutierrez's money could be delivered to the rightful owners. But he had refused, claiming to have other needs for it.

When Susannah had finished her tale, removing some of the shadow I saw in her eyes, I was furious. Incensed that Paul Slater would immorally take money from a family, who were in much greater need for it than he ever would. That he would betray the trust a helpless spirit would give to him, for his own personal gain. Again.

I had thought Paul Slater had done disgraceful deeds before; but now it seemed he had sunken to be an even lower being than I already believed him to be. If that was even possible.

I cursed him in Spanish; once again grateful Susannah couldn't understand what I had said.

"Father D's going to take care of it," Susannah hastened to reassure me. Obviously aware of my sudden desire to go and see Slater right then. But knowing that Father Dominic was aware of the injustice to Mrs. Gutierrez and her family eased some of my boiling anger that always seemed to be directed at Slater.

"But that's not what I'm worried about," She hastily added again. "It's something Paul said when I . . . when I tried to get him to give the money back." Susannah broke off, she seemed to of been trying to gather her courage to say the next part, alerting me instantly.

"It was something about you and what he was going to do to you. Not kill you – "

"That," I interrupted, slightly amused. "Would be difficult, _querida_, given that I'm already dead."

Susannah glared at me in response. "You know what I mean. He said he _wasn't_ going to kill you. He was going to . . . I think he said he was going to keep you from having died in the first place."

I looked back at Susannah after listening to her timid speech. The silence seemed to stretch on between us, making Susannah chew on her lower lip worriedly. In the end all I could do was raise my eyebrow in wonder.

"He has a very high opinion of his own abilities, that one."

"Jesse," Susannah urged me, noticing my lack of concern with his empty threat. "He really meant it. He's said it to me a couple of times, now. I seriously think he might be up to something."

"Slater is always going to be up to something where you're concerned, Susannah." I said in a bored voice. My patience was waning; I was becoming tired of our time together having been on the subject of Slater for most of it. "He's in love with you. Ignore him, and eventually he'll go away."

"Jesse," Susannah tried again, determined to try and make me see the danger. But I couldn't see any. Not concerning myself anyway. "I really think – "

"Ignore him, Susannah." I said again, smiling at her while I shook my head at her dramatics. "He's only saying these things because he knows they upset you, and then you pay attention to him. '_Oh, Paul! No, don't, Paul!'_"

Susannah looked back at me in horror at my little act.

"Was that supposed to be an imitation of _me?" _She exclaimed. But I carried on as if I hadn't heard her regardless. Knowing it would have been more prudent to have kept quiet.

"Don't gratify him by paying attention," I continued. "and he'll grow tired of it and move on."

"I don't sound anything like that." She chewed on her lower lip again, worried. "Do I really sound like that?"

"And now, if that's all," I said, ignoring her, just as I told her to ignore Slater. "I think you should be getting home, _querida_. If your mother should wake and find you gone, you know she'll worry. Besides don't you have school in a few hours?"

"But – "

"_Querida_," I softly spoke, moving in closer to her and weaving a hand around behind her neck and in her hair, tugging her closer. "You worry too much."

"Jesse, I – "

But I silenced her by placing my lips on her own, making her melt into me once again. Our kiss was slow and gentle at first. Igniting a spark in my chest and making it grow brighter and brighter with each passing second that Susannah was pressed to me. I captured her sigh against my mouth, making me deepen our kiss.

I felt her lean closer to me, causing the white hot flame of desire make my body burn and ache for more. Our tongues entwined with one another, making our kiss become more frantic and needy. I felt her hands slip inside my shirt, running her cool hands over my burning chest, teasing my skin with her gentle but insistent touch.

I let my own hand slide underneath her own top, skimming the edges of her jeans to slowly climb higher up her back. I felt her shiver beneath my touch and arch closer to me. Her hands gripped my shoulders, her short nails sure to leave marks. My own hand crept further up her smooth skin before realization hit me like a physical blow of what I was doing.

I quickly seized her hands that had slid back to my burning chest, teasing my skin for more and broke away from our kiss, leaving us both breathless, breathing heavily in the car.

"Susannah," I panted, a silent warning knowing I was getting closer and closer to crossing that invisible line each time. Becoming too wrapped up in our kiss, her touch and the sensations that made me want to throw it all aside and take her in my arms again.

It was the thought that I was taking advantage and insulting Susannah that gave me the strength to back away before I gave into the temptation tugging at me. Instead, I rested my forehead against hers, opting for a different kind of connection for us both. Our breathing continued to sound ragged and loud in the small space surrounding us.

"Jesse." Susannah whispered making me close my eyes against the grip I was losing on my will. Blocking out the eyes that always made me forget. The same eyes that held a million promises, dreams and stars. All waiting for me.

"I think you better go now." I said, trying to get my breathing back under control again.

"Jesse," Susannah said, still slightly breathless herself. "I can't help thinking . . . well, this thing with Paul. I mean, who knows if maybe he really has come up with some new way to . . . to keep you and me apart? And now, with Father Dom gone for who knows how long, I . . . Well, don't you think it might be better if you came back to my house for a while?"

I kept my eyes closed the whole time she spoke, letting her liquid voice race through me, calming my racing emotions. Finally I opened my eyes looking straight into hers. I gave Susannah one of my - as she calls it - no-nonsense looks. Not even swayed by her generous offer. I knew I couldn't return to living in her bedroom. Not now.

"So you can protect me from the nefarious Mr. Slater?" I asked amused. "Thank you for the invitation, _querida_, but I can take care of myself."

"But if Paul finds out Father D, is gone, he might come after you. And if I'm not around to stop him – " Susannah tried again, wasting her argument on me, considering.

"This may come as a surprise to you, Susannah," I said, lifting my head off of hers and placing her hands in her lap once again. "But I can handle Slater without your help." I looked back at her with a small smile of amusement taking the edge of my words.

"And now you're going home," I continued. "Good night, _querida_." I kissed her quick one last time. Not trusting myself anymore than that and started to shimmer away.

"Wait," Susannah said. "Before you go . . . one last thing."

I looked back at her, slightly curious but still amused. "What, _querida?_"

"The fourth dimension," She suddenly exclaimed. I brought myself back to Susannah fully then. Once again becoming solid in the seat opposite hers. Her words startling me with the peculiar and out of nowhere question, taking me by surprise.

"What about it?" I asked.

"Um," She murmured. "What is it?"

"Time."

"Time?" She echoed me. "That's it? Just . . . time?" She looked surprised as if expecting more.

"Yes," I said, confirming her query. "Time. Why do you ask? For school?"

"Sure," She said quickly. "For school." But she seemed slightly more distracted again.

"The things they teach now," I muttered, shaking my head at the question holding a many different meanings and teachings.

"Cat food," Susannah said, handing me the bag with Spike's food. "Don't forget."

I gave Susannah one last smile; letting pure affection shine through in that one look and action. Warmed to see the same reflecting back in hers. An almost shy and timid grin. "Good night, _querida_." I said finally, and left. Before I became too caught in her eyes again.

When I arrived back at Father Dominic's room, I stood where I was for a few seconds, casting my senses out and making sure Susannah left okay. She eventually did after a couple of minutes, leaving me feeling confused, empty and worried. Her question of the fourth dimension stirred something deep inside me. Making me wonder why she was contemplating the answer so thoroughly.

I didn't know whether I should have taken heed of the warning trying to creep to the surface and that of Slater's threats, but there was no solid evidence that he could finish what he started. I wouldn't trust Slater any further than I could throw him. But whatever he was capable of, Susannah was obviously worried about it.

Unfortunately, as much as I hated to admit it, there was a part of me, deep down that knew that his warnings and desire to rid me of Susannah were going to be a lot more real, than I had first given them credit for.

I only hoped I was wrong on both accounts . . .

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_**A/N 2:**_ Thanks for reading, please review. **:D** One more thing; tell me you didn't laugh the first time you read the part where Jesse imitates Suze? It always has me in stitches, hehe.

_**Coming up in Chapter 3: **_Jesse catches Paul and Suze at school, giving Slater the opportunity to talk Jesse into being able to live . . .


	3. Chapter Three

_**Disclaimer:**_ Please see first chapter for disclaimer.

_**Rating:**_ T

_**A/N:**_ Sorry again for the wait. Jesse's being incredible stubborn and won't co-operate again. Is it just me, or are these getting harder?! *****Sigh*** **I hope this is okay. **:)** I really can't wait to do the next one though.

**Thank you **so much for the reviews, the faves and the alerts! You all rocks! Huggles for all. **:D** Enjoy!

_**Recap: **_Jesse shows up at the school, interrupting a tense moment between Suze and Paul . . .

* * *

_**Chapter Three...**_

As much as I tried to brush aside Susannah's concern for me, it still lingered in the forefront of my mind for the rest of the early morning and well into the next day. Slater's treats when issued must have been delivered with as much force as possible. Having left Susannah reeling with the repercussions. I spoke the truth when I assured Susannah that Slater could do nothing to harm me.

But I knew she wasn't convinced or swayed by my reassurance.

I wasn't afraid of Slater. I never have been. But I _was_ afraid of the damage and fear he seemed eager to inflict on Susannah. I told her to ignore him. Pretending his supposed love for her is just a passing infatuation. But the emotions he claims to have for Susannah leave the doubt in my mind constantly. The thought of all that he entails on her - with whom he wishes to be with - leaves a sick and twisted feeling in my stomach. I know Susannah feels nothing for him. I have never been surer of that. But the drastic challenges and threats he imposes on her are beginning to wear thin.

I have witnessed Susannah worried and afraid before. When Maria had made an appearance to her, leaving Susannah with warnings of my fate, the unspoken fear she carried with her was always etched into Susannah's eyes. Rippling across her being, making me wish to take the unwanted emotion from her and onto myself. Just like I wish to do so now.

I know she is losing sleep over it. The thoughts running through Susannah's mind are leaving her scattered and distracted. She has always been an impulsive person. Ever since I have first come to know her. So upon finding her outside the rectory the night before - claiming to drop off Spike's food - I knew that the worry she has been trying helplessly to hide from me, was slowly becoming worse and overwhelming.

It took a large piece of my willpower not to charge straight to Slater and tell him to leave her alone. To speak to _me_, if he had a problem. Instead I tried to keep the conversation as light-hearted as possible. Even going so far as trying to brush it aside with humor. Anything to not alert Susannah to my own concern with her. I knew it wouldn't be fair for her to know that, but it was hard to appear unemotional and unaffected by all that she had told me.

Now following since, I had been finding myself unable to stay still and unable to concentrate on my reading. I knew what I wanted to do and so I acted on it. Leaving the haven of the rectory I went down to the school to find Susannah. The sudden need to see her was too strong to ignore. I wondered if maybe I was picking up that Susannah needed to see me, or if I was using that stray thought as an excuse. Either way, it still didn't stop me from going.

But when I arrived, knowing the time being when she would usually be having her lunch, there was no sign of her.

I looked towards where CeeCee and Adam - Susannah's best friends - were seated; eating their respective lunches, but there was no sign of Susannah. Casting my sense out further, believing maybe she was elsewhere, but I couldn't feel her anywhere near close by. I fought to tamp down on the rising panic building in my chest. I would know if Susannah was hurt or scared. And I knew she would have called me if she was in danger or needed help. I was sure there was a logical reason for why she wasn't where I expected her to be.

I ran another quick look over the courtyard, bustling with people Susannah's age and younger. My eyes looking for someone in particular. When I found him he was waltzing down the breezeway away from the courtyard and everyone else. I nearly made to follow him, intent on finding out where Susannah was, hoping and reluctant to know if he knew himself. His stride seemed relaxed and comfortable, his mood matching his walk. I didn't want to speak to him, if it was completely unnecessary to do so.

But I stuck around a little longer, hoping to catch a glimpse of Susannah soon. When the lunch hour had passed and the courtyard slowly started to empty, I felt uncomfortable waiting alone. I didn't wish to be standing by the quiet area completely devoid of people for once. There weren't even any tourists being shown around on a tour. Just an empty silence penetrating me. I took myself somewhere else soon after. My grave and the surrounding area was just as quiet, if not more so.

But it was different here.

Since the day I told Susannah I loved her, while standing before my gravestone that bore my name, I didn't feel as uncomfortable. I knew Susannah wouldn't be here. She doesn't visit the site as much as she used to before the circumstances with our relationship altered and changed. I just hoped the time would pass along quicker. My agitation at not knowing where Susannah was, kept clawing to the surface. It was rare she left school so abruptly and missing out on her classes. Unless it was because of a spirit, I knew she had been trying to stay out of trouble as much as possible.

I was contemplating going to the find Susannah when I felt her presence on the edge of my mind. It was a small tug as if someone was watching me. A feeling I had become familiar to recognize as being only applicable to Susannah. But I didn't immediately go to her. As much as I wanted to, I held back. As if something was holding me from going anywhere. Telling me to wait, to bide my time. I couldn't help but wonder why. What was it that was making me wait to see the girl I love?

What was I trying to subconsciously protect myself from?

But when the feelings of unease and anxiety rushed through me - coming from Susannah - I ignored the silent warning that seemed to be hanging in the air around me. Susannah was agitated and no small amount of warning or hurt that could come to me was going to stop me from going to her. Not anymore.

When I appeared to where Susannah was, I found myself near the end of the breezeway coming face to face with Paul Slater gripping Susannah's small wrist in his hand. His grip was solid and tight, I saw that at once. And the flash of pain and surprise that crossed Susannah's face when he grabbed hold of her was enough to startle me into action. It only took a couple of seconds for my mind and eyes to take everything in. And with a grim look of determination on my face, coupled with the hate burning in my eyes, I reached forward to pry Slater's tight grip off of Susannah's wrist. His words echoing around us.

"Oh no, you don't," He had snarled to her. "You're not getting away that easily - "

His threat was cut off before he could finish it due to my own hands grabbing his wrist and twisting it behind his back. Making him double over slightly with the pressure and force I was applying to his arm. I twisted it a little higher, hearing his breath hitch in pain.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you," I asked, humor at his apparent pain, lacing my voice. "That a gentleman never lays a hand on a lady?"

I could see Susannah out of the corner of my eye, rubbing at the wrist Slater had just had gripped in his hand. I tightened my own, seeing the action that Susannah was doing. Disgust starting to override my humor at him.

"Jesse," She said, trying to calm me slightly. Though I thought I could see a small trace of amusement in her own eyes when I turned to her. "I'm okay. You can let him go." She requested.

I didn't adhere to what she had claimed, knowing what I had seen. The memory of his angry flashing eyes from only moments ago was still clear and present in my mind. Only causing to fuel my strength slightly. The way he spoke and the hold he had on Susannah was not one of gentleness. It was of a predatory nature. That spoke volumes of his anger and frustration. His patience at trying to win Susannah over was obviously becoming thinner and thinner.

Just like my own at his ridiculous attempts and warnings. At his persistence to make Susannah and myself suffer.

"I wasn't going to do anything to her," Slater spoke up then, trying helplessly to defend himself against me. His voice was strangled and riddled with pain, much to my satisfaction. "I swear!"

I looked to Susannah again. "Did he hurt you, Susannah?" I asked, looking for confirmation.

Shaking her head, she denied my question. "I'm all right," She said.

I turned back to Slater held fast in my grip still. I kept him in the uncomfortable and painful position doubled over with his arm angled up his back a little longer, before releasing him abruptly and making him lose his balance thus causing him to fall to his hands and knees on the rough stone beneath him. His breathing slightly hitched and labored. I knew the hold I had him in was painful. The pressure it put on your shoulder wasn't very pleasant. But I found no regret in my actions for trying to defend and protect Susannah.

I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened should I not have arrived.

Walking over to the stone pillar beside Susannah, I nonchalantly leaned up against it, waiting for Slater to regain his strength and breathe back. I used the opportunity to look over Susannah. She seemed paler than normal. She had dark circles beneath her eyes, telling of the restless nights she has been suffering recently. Her cheeks were devoid of the rosy tint they normally held. Her green eyes were hooded and weary. She seemed drained and exhausted. But she held herself as if waiting for the next onslaught to befall her again.

I couldn't help but feel the same. The air around Susannah and Slater was filled with anticipation and something else. Something I couldn't quite decipher. But judging from the hostile glare Susannah was shooting to Slater on the stone slabs before us, something had been said between them. And now I was determined to find out exactly what. Prepared to face Slater and his threats or offerings, head on.

"You didn't have to call _him_," Slater said, climbing back to his feet, having regained his breath back.

"I didn't," Susannah answered in a cool, emotionless voice. I carefully set my own expression to give away nothing. Hoping Susannah wouldn't see the suspicion and curiosity flickering behind them.

"She didn't have to," I replied, folding my arms across my chest, daring Slater to question it further. I wasn't going to divulge to him of how or why I could feel Susannah's distress. I didn't wish to be anywhere near him or for Susannah to be with him either. I wanted to leave, but I could feel something building between the three of us. The same thing, I knew I had delayed coming to see Susannah for.

That I was sure was going to leave me feeling hurt and wounded.

I glared at Slater with disgust, watching him brush off the dust and imaginary flint on his clothes. He continued to avoid my stare, trying to appear as detached as possible. Yet his whole being thrummed with tension.

"What'd you, sense a disturbance in the Force, or something?" He asked testily, rolling his injured shoulder slightly, testing out its use since I bent it behind his back.

"Something like that." I said, moving the conversation along more. I looked to Susannah beside me, then back to Slater, voicing my curiosity. "Is there anything going on here that I should know about?" I saw the first trace of colour to come to Susannah's cheeks at my statement. Piquing my interest further.

"No," Susannah instantly responded. Too quickly she realized as soon as I raised my eyebrow in question at her rapid answer. Closing her eyes and sighing quietly to herself.

But it was Slater's response that made me clench my fists to myself. His harsh bark of laughter at Susannah's response made me feel foolish and angry. Mainly because between his response and Susannah's . . . I knew whatever that was going to be said in the coming moments, was going to leave me reeling and confused.

Opening her eyes, Susannah glared at Slater before us, her eyes flashing with untapped fury towards him. I pursed my thin lips together, stopping myself from uttering a curse or taking a step forward to stop his scornful laughter.

"Oh yeah," He said. "You two have a _great_ relationship. It's really great how _honest_ you are with each other." I narrowed my eyes menacingly at Slater, telling him without words to shut up. I knew my eyes had darkened to being almost black as the moment had stretched on. And his words were only causing the silent anger I felt brewing in me to get hotter. He was well aware of what I could do to him. It was this knowledge he held that caused his laughter to dry up with my narrowed look towards him.

Once he was quiet, I turned my attention to Susannah. My gaze questioning and penetrating her own.

"It's nothing," She blurted, slightly panicked. I looked deeper into her eyes, but I saw no trace of guilt. Instantly reassuring me that they hadn't been close, like my mind had first conjured up for me. Making me replay Slater's words the night I had gone to say goodbye to Susannah when I had to leave her room. They still stung me now.

No, her eyes only held panic and a deep rooted fear. A fear I soon found the reason for.

"Paul was just . . . he was thinking of doing something to you. But he changed his mind. Didn't you, Paul?" Susannah continued, imploring Slater with her eyes to stay quiet and go along with what she was trying to keep from me. Much to her dismay, he didn't obey her silent request.

"Not really," Slater cheerfully said. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's ask _Jesse_ what he'd want, shall we? Say, Jesse, how would you feel if I told you I could - "

"No," Susannah interrupted with a gasp, halting Slater's speech he was about to deliver to me. I looked to Susannah, agitated to see her so flushed and her breathing so labored. "Paul, really, that's not necessary, Jesse won't - "

"Now, Suze," Slater belittled Susannah, ignoring her attempts to not let me know what was going on. What had been said, or was about to be. If Susannah was having such a reaction to me hearing what he had to say, I couldn't help but wonder and worry myself to what I was sure to hear. "Let's allow Jesse to decide. Jesse, what if I told you that in addition to all the many other wonderful things that we mediators can do, it turned out we can also travel through time? And that I had generously offered to travel back to your time - the night you died, I mean - and save your life. What would you say to that?"

My expression pulled into a look of cold disgust and disdain for the boy before me; my eyes didn't falter or move from his face. The weight of his words hanging before me, waiting to penetrate through. But still I held my expression strong.

"I would say that you're a liar." Was my calm response.

"See, I thought you might say that." Slater said, nodding to himself with a self-assurance that I wasn't going to like what he had to say to me. "But I'm here to tell you it's the absolute truth. Think about it, Jesse. You didn't have to die that night. I can go back through time and warn you. Well, you won't know me, of course, but I think if I tell you - the past you - that I'm from the future and that you're going to die if you don't do what I tell you, you'll believe me."

"Do you?" I asked, my voice and expression still unwavering and unchanging from his words. "Because I don't."

Slater seemed to halt at my answer. Fighting to keep a surprised look from entering his face at my answer. It was an awkward silence that encased us for a few moments before Slater started his spiel to me once again. I suppressed the sigh wanting to be let loose having to endure this kind of torture. To his words being so generously handed to me, expecting to be taken and revered. At the supposed possibilities he was trying to offer to me.

"I don't think you understand what I'm saying here." Slater said, shaking his head at my non co-operation at playing into his hands. I understood perfectly what he was saying. And I wondered what he thought gave him the right to play with my fate, the way he was describing. "I'm talking about giving you back your _life_, Jesse. None of this wandering around in a sort of half-life for a hundred and fifty years, watching the people you love grow older and die, one by one. No way. You'll _live_. To a ripe old age, if I can, you know, get rid of that Diego guy who killed you. I mean, how can you say no to an offer like that?"

"Like this," I said tonelessly, keeping all traces of the anger and pain itching in my veins from his words, to myself. I would never agree to what he was saying. It didn't matter how much he thought he was offering me. "No."

I felt the relief pouring off of Susannah at my words. Confirming my thoughts as to why she felt such fear. I was slightly surprised she would believe I would even think about agreeing to what Slater proposed. But I also knew she would never understand what it could feel like to be in my position. I'm sure, just like most spirits she has met, who only wished to have their old lives back, that I would be among them.

But that wasn't the case. I had built as much of a life here as I possibly could. I embraced the changes of the world around me. I learnt as much about the new world as I possibly could. There is a reason I was dealt my fate, and I would see it through without the aid of Paul Slater.

He in return could do nothing but blink at me in surprise. Once, twice, before his friendly demeanour he had been trying to project was shattered and gone. Scattered with the wind, replaced by a tone of disbelief that I would deny myself the chance of having my life back.

"Don't be an idiot. I'm offering you a chance to live again. _Live._ What are you going to do, hang around here for the rest of eternity? Are you going to watch _her _get old," - he asked, thrusting a finger in Susannah's direction, making her tense with the line of interrogation - "and eventually turn to dust like you did with your family. Don't you remember how that felt? You want to go through all that again? You want her to sacrifice having a normal life - marriage, kids, grandkids - just to be with you, when you can't even support her, can't even - "

"Paul stop it," Susannah commanded, hoping to stop his tirade. But it was already too late. I knew the emotionless mask I had been keeping up had slowly been faltering with each of his words. Of the sacrifice I was asking of Susannah. Of the normal life I was denying her.

"You think you're doing her any favours by sticking around?" He demanded his voice low and penetrating through no matter how much I tried to fight it off. "Man, you're only keeping her from leading a normal life - "

"Stop it!" Susannah shouted at Paul again, keeping him quiet again while simultaneously clutching onto one of my arms that had fell from their locked position across my chest.

Just as I started to latch on to the warmth Susannah's hand was soaking into me and the tendrils of familiarity running through my body at the soft and smooth contact of her hand; the silence was broken by the sudden arrival of multiple classroom doors opening and spilling students out on to the breezeway around us.

Susannah swung around, standing before me and clutched onto my arms with her small hands. Looking anxiously up into my distressed expression, trying to infuse me with the bountiful of love coating her eyes. A gaze so full of desperation and fear, I had to look away from them.

"Don't listen to him. Please. I don't care about those things, marriage and kids. All I want is you." Susannah implored to me. Her words were emotional and quivering, barely heard over the noise. Just like my heart and mind before her. "I mean it," Susannah said, frustratingly shaking me. Hoping to break me out of my daze. "Don't pay attention to a word he says!"

"Um, hello, Suze," I heard someone say from behind Susannah, a sneer in her voice. "Talk to the wall much?"

Susannah turned her head to throw a withering glare at the person who spoke. Unable to stand being there any longer, I disappeared right out of Susannah's hands. Leaving the hustle and noise of the students making their way to their next lesson. Leaving Susannah standing in the breezeway of the mission academy alone. I couldn't continue to see the smug smile on Slater's face. Or the desperate look in Susannah's eyes. I needed time to think. To throw Slater's words away from my troubled mind.

I needed time.

I found myself before my grave again. Looking down at the words that only seemed a blur to me now. The fog that had been sweeping through my mind was becoming entangled and choking. Holding Slater's words for me to see. I shouldn't have left like I had, I knew this. But the stings of his words were impaling me deeper now, than they had before.

The way he cleverly spun his web to me, the way he wove his precise words made me angry at the show of weakness I had thought I had battled a while ago. Of the implications of the sacrifices Susannah was giving up to be with me. He had cruelly dredged up cold and harsh memories of having to stay bound to earth, knowing my parents and sisters were living their lives.

I had known that I went to see them only once, that I would never have been able to leave them again. I didn't want to watch them grow old and die. I didn't want to watch the lives they had been cherished and bestowed, knowing I wouldn't be with them.

And now Slater was offering to give me back my life. Giving me an opportunity to be with my family and never meet Susannah again. To never feel what it would be like to have the love of a lifetime soaring through me. But I would always know. I would always know there was meant to be something else destined for me. That I was meant to love another waiting for someone. I would live the rest of my life, not knowing why I always felt empty. As if there was a piece of me missing. A piece I would never be able to regain again.

But it came back to one of my original thoughts. What gave Slater the right, to believe he could alter my fate so drastically?

Susannah's strange question of the fourth dimension the night before that had been festering in the back of my mind - waiting to be acknowledged - suddenly made sense now. At the time, I had nothing to assume that her innocent question was anything but that. Simple and curious. Even as I tried to deny her answer that it was for school. An answer that seemed faint and unconvincing. But I hadn't pushed her on it.

I have read a couple of volumes from Father Dominic's personal library on such books containing theories and questions pertaining to this thing. Is time travel possible? For a normal human, no. But for a mediator - according to Slater - it was. The subject raised other questions in me. Is being able to go back and undo the wrongs done in the past, ethical and right? Do we have the power to judge and assume we can change someone's future?

I didn't believe we did, when I read the controversial subject. And I still don't.

I believe what's done is done. That to go back and change a small part of the past or a large part - such as the prevention of my death - would lead to the change of many, if not everyone's future. I would lead the rest of my life wondering. So would Susannah and the countless others who are perceptive enough in the world to feel that something is. . . missing.

The Grandfather Paradox was an easy explanation and example when the idea was discussed. The theory being, that if you were to travel back in time and were to kill your grandfather, then your own father wouldn't be born and thus, neither would you. It is a reasonable argument and the perfect example of changing the future and someone's destiny. Just like Slater was indicating he wanted to do to me. How he wished to _help_ me.

Or himself more importantly.

I had spent so much time doubting I was unable to give Susannah what she deserved. Going so far as to cause us both heartache and pain. I know I could never make her go through such a trial again. And I was certain I could not endure it either. Slater's words stung and hurt. They opened old wounds and poured his cruel words around me, satisfied to watch me squirm and hurt.

But there was one thing I was forgetting. And it wasn't until I had gone to see Susannah that evening, sitting on the edge of her bed as she slept a fitful sleep that the sudden realization came to me.

My premature death had come at a price but delivered a greater gift. Fate had deigned to bring such a beautiful star into my life for a reason. I had to put my trust in the hands of that alone. I knew, Susannah and I hadn't made it this far, just to have it all pulled from us now. I had to believe that all would come right in the end . . . and no-one could pull us away from that. I had to have faith in the strength of Susannah and of our love.

Otherwise, I would have nothing.

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_**A/N 2: **_Thanks so much for reading, please review. It makes the stupid block my mind is hitting me with, back off slightly. **:)** Hugs and love to all! Peace!

_**Anonymous Reviews:**_

_**Meg -**_ Hey! Thanks for the review! **:D **I'm glad you loved it! I loved writing it, hehe. I hope you enjoy this one. The next should be up sooner than the last couple of times have taken me. Take care. Huggles! **x**

_**Coming up in Chapter 4: **_Suze goes back in time to stop Paul from letting Jesse live. Meeting him all over again and having a change of heart. Only to have fate step in once again . . .


	4. Chapter Four

_**Disclaimer:**_ Please see first chapter for disclaimer.

_**Rating:**_ T

**WARNING!! Get a cushion for your aft, grab a bowl of popcorn and crack open a drink...this is LONG!**

_**A/N:**_ I hope it's what you expected and what you wanted. **:)** And this one goes out to all you readers and reviewers. For being the best supporters, fans and friends anyone could ask for.** :) Thank you...**

_**Recap: **_Suze goes back in time to try and stop Paul from saving Jesse. Only to have a change of heart when she comes across, 'Live Jesse'...

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_**Chapter Four...**_

I returned back to the rectory after sitting and contentedly watching Susannah sleep until just before the dawn. Letting it creep over the horizon. Taking my old place on the window seat, the glow of the moon through the window was a beautiful sight. Almost as magickal to me as looking into Susannah's eyes. At the unconditional love I always saw shining through now. Of the happiness I helped to put there. Seeing the complete picture. The missing piece Susannah had been craving for so long. The same piece I had also felt for a hundred and fifty years.

And now we were both had what we wanted, we didn't need anymore than that. I wanted to speak with Susannah. To wake her and tell her I didn't care what Slater told me. That the cruel words he tried to plague me with, hasn't changed what I feel for her. Of the love I no longer wish to hide from her, or the world. That I didn't want my old life back. I have a new one now. I didn't need anymore than that.

I wished to tell Susannah this and more. But I didn't dare wake her. Not with knowing of the lack of sleep she had been enduring the past couple of days. All I could do was sit and hope my presence would soothe and comfort her. Leading to a better night's sleep - for the first time - in too long. The only part that was missing from the scene, was having Spike with me. Where he was waiting for me at the rectory. Our new home. But I couldn't come to pull myself away. It was so rare for me to be able to see Susannah so relaxed and worry free. And as long as my presence didn't disturb her, I was loathed to go.

I spent the majority of the night mixing between gazing at my _querida_ sleeping peacefully at last and the view from her windows. A view I thought I would never come to forget. But as I sat there, gazing out over to the ocean, I realized I had forgotten it more than I had thought. The moons glow on the water reflected the calm ocean so far, it looked like it would never end. The ethereal shine that was cast down upon everything made the dew on the leaves glisten and twinkle in the dark. As if the stars had fallen to earth.

I sat with a smile of pure contentment upon my face for those short hours. Not wishing to be anywhere but here. Not wanting to be.

But eventually, I knew my time was coming for me to leave Susannah's room. It was Saturday, so normally she wouldn't be up too early. But this particular Saturday, I knew she was supposed to be helping with a bake sale at the auction being held at the Mission later on in the morning. I could picture Susannah having to pull herself away from her warm covers and the much needed rest, to have to fulfill her punishment. I knew she would be bored for the better part of the day, having to be somewhere other than the beach. I knew she enjoyed to just sit and watch the waves.

The look of childlike wonder that would adorn her face each time, was one that never got old. And one that I knew would never fail to appear each time she witnessed a sunset while sitting upon the sand. No sunrise or sunset's are ever the same. Their different each time. Its a view I took great pleasure in sitting with Susannah and witnessing.

Or watching it while she slept.

So with great reluctance, I left Susannah's room, returning back to the rectory and to Spike. I knew he would be wanting his morning feed soon. His eating times having changed since coming to the rectory. When we lived at Susannah's, his food would be served later than the time it is served now. He is often fed when Father Dominic has woken. A time considerable earlier than Susannah's. And I knew he became grumpy if he wasn't fed when he demanded it. He has quite the temper sometimes.

And sure enough, Spike was waiting for me when I arrived. My good mood still in place, it seemed to be projected to Spike too. Who normally wished for food first and fuss later. Today was different. His need for attention came first. With a happy chuckle, I happily got down to his level, scratching at his soft spots behind his ears and under his chin. Tickling his belly when he flopped onto his back. His purring loud and boisterous in the scarce room. I worried someone might hear his purring should they walk past, it was that loud. But today I was too happy to be worried about it.

My realization from the night before had only served to make me feel more powerful and secure. I was eager to be able to see Susannah again.

Once Spike had received his desired attention and gotten his food he was crying for, I tidied about Father Dominic's room for him. Putting away books I had left open and putting them back to their rightful places on his shelves. Marking the pages of the ones I had yet to finish and mentally storing away the questions I wished to ask him when he returned. I spent a little while picking up the mess I had somehow created since Father Dominic had been gone. Trying anything to pass the time a little faster. Humming the song that I sung in Susannah's room the first night she had lived in Carmel.

"_Oh, Susannah, now don't you cry for me. Because I come from Alabama, with this banjo on my knee . . ._ " All the while, Spike watched me. Cocking his head at me. His ears flicking each time I sang, instead of hummed the song. My mood was too light for anything to bring me down.

I tried to wish the hours away, my impatience to see Susannah again a constant thrum running through me. I had so much energy I didn't want to stay still, or be cooped up in Father Dominic's room. So with one last glance around my new living area, I took myself to the auction being held down at the Mission courtyard. I knew it was the perfect place to be. I didn't wish to be stuck inside when it was such a beautiful day outside. The fact that Susannah would also be there, was an extra incentive.

When I arrived, I made sure to keep myself out of sight. Not just for Susannah, but on the off chance that anyone else at the auction was a mediator. Or atleast, sensitive to spirits walking amongst them. Susannah's stepbrother - Brad - was one that was sensitive to spirit. Not that he realizes it. Susannah told me that he had overheard us both talking in her room and had accused her of sneaking someone up there. I was slightly shocked to know he could hear and was aware of me. Susannah herself was as shocked as I was. But I shouldn't have been surprised. It was bound to be one of the last people I would have expected.

So I stayed on the outskirts of the crowd when I appeared. Scanning the many people milling around for the one person I was hoping to catch a glimpse of. It was as there was a lapse in the crowd that I spotted Susannah. Sitting at one of the booths advertising baked goods, with a young redheaded girl sitting beside her. The look of boredom on her face nearly had me laughing out loud. But I somehow managed to keep it restrained. Instead turning my head away and looking among the many people attending.

There were multiple booths set up around the edges. Some selling other types of confectionery with others selling refreshments. Something needed for the bright cloudless day shining around us. I saw a couple of stalls holding the arrangement of the items that was to be auctioned off soon, many people coming and going from its display. I saw a couple of Susannah's teachers walking around and Sister Ernestine situated near the raised platform before all the chairs that were slowly filling up.

Looking back to Susannah's booth, I noticed her tipping backwards on the legs of her chair. Her hands gripping onto the ledge before her, to stop herself falling completely. A woman stood before her, pointing out different cakes and receiving one word answers from Susannah. The young redheaded girls eyes widened when Susannah gave the woman a cake and watched her leave, before turning back to Susannah at her side, uttering an exclamation I was just able to hear.

"Suu-uuze," The young girl cried. "You are so cool. Your brother Dave said you were cool, but I didn't believe him."

I smiled broadly at the girl's wonder. The way she looked at Susannah as if she were about to do something equally as 'cool' as whatever she had just done. But judging from the genuine smile on the child's face that had just purchased the cake, he held the same sentiments as the redheaded girl by Susannah's side.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her this time. I watched as she tilted back on her chair again, her form relaxed. Confident she wouldn't fall backwards from her seat. Her eyes held much of the boredom I knew she would be feeling, but still they held a hint of wariness, anyone else wouldn't notice there. I watched as they flickered around the attendance of people. Constantly keeping an eye out for possible trouble. In the guise of a spirit, or Slater. Or even both. But her calm posture belied what was really going on underneath the surface.

The redheaded girl carried on speaking to Susannah in such a rush, I don't think much of her words penetrated Susannah's boredom. And it wasn't until Sister Ernestine had gotten up on to the podium calling the hazy chatter to a standstill around the courtyard and introducing Susannah's stepfather up on to the dais, that I saw any kind of reaction in Susannah. Her stepfather being the new speaker for the auction, as Monsignor Constantine was unable to do so. His modest waving of his acknowledgement and slight blush was clear to see.

Looking to Susannah I noticed her start to slink down in her chair, trying to hide herself from the embarrassment. But more was yet to befall her, when the loudest person to be applauding Susannah's stepfathers presence, was none other than her own mother. Helen Ackerman. This time I did chuckle out loud at Susannah's bright flushed cheeks. A flush I knew that wasn't from the comfortable heat or bright sunlight. My laughter only increased when she reached forward and slipped her sunglasses on. Trying to be as invisible as possible. It was an action that was purely Susannah and made my heart swell just witnessing.

The auction went well into the afternoon. Some things being sold for a lot more money than I would have given them credit for. There was a silver belt buckle that looked familiar, but I was in too good of a mood to pay much attention to why it did, or who it was sold too. I wandered away from the auction not long after, once again becoming restless. The good mood I had been in was humming through me still, making me look forward to being able to see Susannah later on in the evening. Our 'date night'. She had plans to make me watch a film called _E.T._ Secretly hoping I would be swayed from my favourite film, _The Godfather_. I would go along with it just to humor her. I had a lot of catching up to do according to Susannah. I didn't mind too much though. Some of what I have seen so far - films - has been very good.

I passed some more time going to the beach. Somewhere I haven't been in a while. I watched as some of the more braver people ran into the water, boards in hand. Braving the cold bite the water would hold, just to try and catch a wave. I envied their ambition and drive. But couldn't help but wonder how they managed to stay upright on the board. Practice and ease I assumed. I knew it was a sport Jake and Brad - Susannah's brothers - enjoyed to do a lot. David wasn't the type. He preference would be to study the physics behind such a sport, rather than take part in it. It still surprises me how different he is from his older brothers.

But when the time came for me to return to the rectory and Spike, I did so, knowing that not much longer and I would be able to see Susannah again. When I returned to Father Dominic's room, I found Spike waiting for me, his usual greeting of winding through my legs. A sure way to tell me he was ready to be fed again. Laughing at his antics, I finally put him out of his misery and gave him his food. Watching for a few seconds as he gulped it down, purring in content the whole time.

I spent the time I had left before I was to go to Susannah's, attempting to read some of my book. Finding it to be an impossibility, I eventually gave it up and decided to go earlier than expected. Anxious to see her. But just as I was about to leave, I felt a presence. A presence of someone alive. Narrowing my eyes, I concentrated to where I could feel the person and went to investigate. When I came across the basilica and looked around, I was startled to find none other than Paul Slater sneaking about. He held the belt buckle I had seen auctioned off earlier in his hand. A calculating look upon his face. I didn't see any reason for him to be here, other than to maybe have found religion. But even that seemed slightly absurd to me.

Shaking it off as something I would ask Susannah when I saw her, I gave Slater one last look and left him to what ever it was he was doing.

When I arrived in Susannah's bedroom, I found it to be empty. Happy to wait, I sat on her soft window seat and gazed out at another cloudless night sky, dotted with hundreds of stars. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long for Susannah to arrive. I could feel my fingers and arms itching to hold her. So when she finally entered her room, I made quick work of crossing the short distance to her.

Wrapping my arms around her slim waist, I pulled her to me, just having enough time to see the startled but happy surprise in her bright green eyes, before I closed my own and laid my lips on hers. Swimming in her touch and her feel. I wanted to chase away the fear she might still be carrying from our last meeting. To encase her in my love and trust. To assure her of my devotion to her and us. To tell her of everything she needed and wanted to hear of me. Our kiss was fevered and intense, before slowly becoming more gentle and loving.

When I pulled away from her, our breathing was heavy and loud between us. Her eyes were hooded and glazed with love and passion. My own I was sure holding the same emotions. Bending to drop another featherlight kiss to her soft swollen lips I pulled her closer still. Tightening my arms around her into my embrace and burying my head in her shoulder, kissing the soft skin on display to me. Susannah relaxed into me fully. Her hands gripping my lose shirt in her tight fists as if afraid I would disappear from her arms.

Eventually we pulled away again, our gazes speaking a thousand words between us. But it was Susannah who broke the comfortable silence. "Hello to you, too." She said with a small smile. My response being a larger grin. My mood so light and free I just couldn't contain it. Desperate to share it with Susannah.

"I missed you," I whispered to her, seeing her eyes soften at my confession.

After we shared another tight encompassing embrace, we made ourselves comfortable on Susannah's bed, settling in to watch our film, using her pillows to prop me up by the headboard. Susannah picked up the remote and played the movie she was making me watch. Making myself comfortable, I wrapped an arm around Susannah's shoulders, pulling her closer to me. She stretched out by my side, laying her head on my chest. Both of us relaxed and content.

Unfortunately_ E.T_. wasn't holding my attention like Susannah hoped it would. And after watching it for as long as I could, I finally spoke up with suspended disbelief on my face. "This is by the same director who made _Jaws_?" I asked, surprised. Noting the complete contrast to the two different films. "I don't believe it."

Susannah only smiled at my wonder, choosing to not say anything in return. _Jaws,_ was another one of my favourite films that Susannah has introduced to me. The timing of the music with the film was excellent. Making the suspense build in me. Susannah had hidden behind her hands, knowing what was coming up when we had first watched it together. But when the climactic part came, she jumped anyway. She punched me in the arm for laughing at her when she did. I soon got her out of her sulk though.

_"Jaws_ is much better than this," I said, shaking my head at the alien on the film rummaging through a refrigerator and drinking from what looked to be an alcoholic beverage.

Sighing at my lack of interest in the film, Susannah picked up the remote and clicked the film off. "Let's just talk." And wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me - willingly - down into a blazing kiss.

I couldn't argue with her. I didn't want to. If I had to choose between watching _E.T_. and kissing Susannah, there would be no competition. I'd been wanting to see Susannah all day and more. Happily, I sank into her touch and her caress. Losing myself in her and her essence. Making my thoughts become cloudy and foggy. Only something continued to burn in the back of my mind. Something I was forgetting. Something important.

So it was with a strong will and a reluctant body that I pulled myself away from Susannah and our kiss, when it finally occurred to me exactly what had been waiting to be remembered.

"I almost forgot. What was Paul doing at the Mission tonight? Has he found religion?" I asked against Susannah's lips. Unable to break myself away completely. But Susannah had other ideas.

"_What_?" She shrieked, dropping her arms from my neck and robbing me of her tickling touch. But I continued to hold her, stopping her from breaking our connection. Her reaction surprised me slightly though.

"Your friend Paul," I said, looking at Susannah's wide eyed expression. "I saw him a little while ago in the basilica . . . which was closed, you know. Why would he be there after hours, do you think? He hardly seems the type to be considering a career in the priesthood. Unless he suddenly received his calling . . . " My voice trailed off as I noticed the terrified look starting to dance across Susannah's face in the light of the moon through the window. Making her look pale and grim.

She wrenched herself away from my arms, quickly getting up off the bed to look down on me in terror. "Susannah?" I asked, my concern quickly ridding me of my passion filled mind. Pushing my light mood aside and replacing it with somber anticipation. Making me become instantly alert and wary. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, God." Susannah cried, burying her head in her trembling hands. The waves of distress and fear that was coming off of her made me quickly climb to my feet. She pulled her hands from her face and started fumbling around and looking for something. "I have to go," She said, her voice quivering just like her. "I'm sorry Jesse, but I have to - "

"Susannah," I interrupted her, taking hold of her wrist in a gentle but firm grasp as she tried to turn away from me. "What is it? What is this about? Why do you care if Paul is in the basilica?" I was aware my voice was urgent but I couldn't seem to stop myself. The anguish and terrified look on Susannah's face was doing nothing to help me stay calm and not overreact.

"You don't understand," She said, sounding close to tears. Her face suddenly became aschen before me, almost to a deathly pale. I tightened my hold, imploring her to tell me. Locking her eyes with a grim determination of my own.

"Try me, _querida_," My voice was as hard as steel.

And then it all came flooding out. An out-pour of words I struggled to keep up with, but understood all the same. Susannah told me all of what I had been wondering and questioning the past few weeks. Telling me of her afternoon 'mediator lessons' with Slater on Wednesday afternoons, in exchange for Slater not sending me off to the shadowland or wherever else he could send me. Telling me of his Grandfather, Dr. Slaski and his belief that certain mediator's could travel to and from the shadowland. And with the power of something to anchor them, being able to travel to the past. All coming with a heavy price and a dangerous burden.

She told me of her discussion with Dr. Slaski today, and with Father Dominic on the phone. And even her discussion with her father. All telling Susannah to let me live. To let Slater go back in time and save my life. To give me the chance of having one. Telling her that was the greatest gift she could give me. Informing her I was better of with a chance at life, rather than to walk an eternity as a ghost.

She even told me of her plight to not tell me, because she was terrified to lose me. Terrified I would agree with Father Dominic, Dr. Slaski, Slater and her father. That I would _want_ to live again.

I continued to let her tell me it all. Never interrupting her. Not even flinching when she told me of the time she had to endure with Slater to protect me from him. Finally finishing with,

"Only now he doesn't want to kill you, Jesse," Susannah bitterly told me. "He wants to save you, save your life. He's going back through time to stop Felix Diego from killing you. And if he does that . . . if he does that . . . "

"You and I will never meet." I said, finishing her sob wrenched answer.

My voice was as composed as I felt. The terror I had been feeling because I didn't understand why Susannah was so distraught, had been lifted. Leaving me feeling as calm as the moon that shone down upon us standing in its glow. The realization of why Susannah had gone to such lengths, left only peace and deep knowing of what I had to do next.

"Yes," Susannah frantically answered, looking up at me and expecting a fight to be put up in defence of myself. "Can't you see, I've got to go down there - now. Right now - and stop him."

"No, _querida_," I said, my voice unhurried. I felt as though a tranquil balm had come over me. I knew this needed to end now. And there was only one way for me to be able to see that through. "You can't do that."

I saw the rapid swell of tears come into her eyes at my response. At the way her arm shook in my hands. Of the hurt and heartache to suddenly fill her emerald gaze along with the tears. Of her own belief and her own cold truth. That she thought, even after everything I had just heard. After everything I came to realize as I looked down upon her the night before, that I would still agree with them all. That I would rather have the chance to live, than to love Susannah.

They couldn't be more wrong.

I let go of Susannah's arm. "You can't go after him. He's too dangerous. I'll go. I'll stop him." I said in an ice cold voice that made Susannah visible shiver. She looked back at me in shock. Blinking back her tears as if she didn't hear me correctly.

"Jesse," She said, her voice almost a whisper. Unwilling to hear the words being spoken from her own mouth. "I don't think you understand. He wants to save you. To keep you from . . . from dying that night."

"I understand," I replied. "I understand that Paul is a fool who thinks he's God. I don't know what makes him think it's his right to play with my destiny. But I do know he's not going to succeed. Not if I can stop him."

I felt the sudden shift in Susannah's mood before she spoke. Her voice radiating the relief she felt at my admission. "You can't," She shrilled. "You can't stop him, Jesse. Paul will - "

"And just what do you intend to do, Susannah?" I asked sharply, staring down into the defiant gaze with one of my own. "_Talk_ him out of his plans? No. It's too dangerous."

But Susannah turned away from me again, grabbing hold of her black leather jacket and shrugging in to it. "Paul won't hurt me, Jesse. I'm the reason he's doing this, remember?" She asked. Only I did. All too well.

"I don't mean Paul," I said. "I mean time traveling. Slaski says it's dangerous?"

"Yes, but - "

"Then you're not doing it." I said again, interrupting her. But Susannah being the way she is. The girl I fell in love with, stubbornly held on to her argument. Trying to get me to back down. Something I wouldn't do. Not as long as there was a possibility Susannah could get hurt, or worse. I would never let her willingly walk into danger.

"Jesse, I'm not afraid - "

"No," I said again, aware of the dangerous look in my eye. Not directed at her. But at the boy that was about to get a visit from a very angry spirit. One that was losing patience and will at letting him get away with his heartbreaking and perilous endeavours. "I'm going. You're staying here. Leave everything to me."

"Jesse, don't be - " But I didn't hear the rest, because I did just as I said I would. I went after Paul Slater.

When I arrived at the basilica, it was eerily quiet and dark, save for the moonlight streaming through the large stained glass windows before me. The quiet silence was echoing all around me, bouncing off the marble floors and the wooden pews. I sent my sense out like a net, hoping to be able to hear or feel Slater close by. But the responding sensations of nothing made my heart leap into my throat. Slater wasn't here. No-one was here. And then the sinking realization sank in . . .

I was too late . . .

xXx

_**Carmel, California - 1850 **_

The ride to the boarding house - where I had a room reserved for the night - was long and tedious. My back was stiff with tension from journeying for so long. A journey I should have enjoyed and been relaxed on. Relishing in the freedom and the scenery around me. But considering I have been riding all my life, the long travel was exhausting and uncomfortable. The knowledge of what was awaiting me the next day hung like a cloak around me. Making me feel even more dejected than before. On outside appearances I looked noble and strong. But on the inside I was angry and frustrated.

The urge to turn back around and return to my family and my home, was the same thing that made me continue on. The thought of the dishonour and disgrace to befall my family and myself if I didn't, outweighed any nonsense of fleeing. But still it did not stop me from thinking it.

I pulled back on my beloved horses - Mateo - reins as much as possible. Hoping to stall myself for some more time. I knew I should have arrived long ago. That Mr. and Mrs. O'Neil would be wondering where I was. But I wished to spend some more time enjoying the freedom of the open fields around me and the sun beating down on my back. To get what I wanted to say when I came across Maria and her father tomorrow, straight in my mind. Not wishing to leave any room for mistakes or doubts.

But eventually, as the shadows on the dusty track before me started to grow longer making me aware of the day soon to be coming to an end, the boarding house I would be residing in for the night, started to loom into view. The house was large and ominous before me. Instilling a small fear I didn't believe I would possess. It looked harmless enough, but I didn't wish to be sleeping there that night. I wanted to home, with my family.

By the time I had ridden Mateo as far to the house as I wished, I climbed down holding his reins and walking just before him to greet Mr. and Mrs. O'Neil.

"Mr De Silva," Mrs. O'Neil softly spoke, greeting me with a warm smile. "I trust your journey was well?"

"Yes," I said, nodding at her and her husband standing beside her. Trying to keep a friendly smile upon his face. "Thank you."

"My husband will put your belongings in your room for you," Mrs. O'Neil gestured to the the satchel holding my personal things that I would need, to continue the last part of my journey. "and then return your horse to our stables for the night. I'm sure you must be parched and hungry after your long journey."

I looked to Mateo, not wishing to be led away from his just yet. Wanting to spend some time in the company of my old friend. And if I was honest with myself, I didn't wish to set foot inside their house just yet.

"Thank you, Mrs. O'Neil. But if I may I would rather get him settled into his stable myself," I smiled warmly at the lady of the house, hoping to take the edge off my succinct words to her. "He can be quite temperamental, sometimes." Not waiting for an answer, I turned to Mateo to loosen the hold that was keeping my belongings safe. Taking it down from him, I turned back to Mr. O'Neil, handing it to him.

"As you wish, Mr. De Silva," Mrs. O'Neil replied, watching her husband take the satchel from my hands before turning back to me, surprised expression gone and replaced with her warm smile again.

"Thank you," I replied, once again taking hold of Mateo's reins and leading him over to the large barn where he would be staying for the night.

"Come inside when your ready to eat," Mrs. O'Neil called after me. "I'll have your dinner ready for you."

"I will, Mrs. O'Neil," I said back, turning to give her one small smile and a wave of acknowledgment, before walking the short distance left to the barn.

I sighed with relief when the kind hostess turned and walked back to her home. Unaware of the silent emotions brewing inside me. Ones I made sure to keep well hidden from everyone. But still I had caught my mother looking at me suspiciously a couple of days before I was to set out for my journey. She was always perceptive when it came to knowing if something was wrong with me. I hoped she put it down to nerves with what I was setting out on this travel for. And that when I returned she wouldn't be disappointed in me. But I knew as soon as the thought entered my mind, that she wouldn't be with me.

I just hoped my father was to be as understanding as my mother.

Pushing open the barn door, it let loose a creak that made the hairs on my arm stand on end. Grating on my nerves. I lead Mateo into an empty stable, stroking his long neck and ears. Whispering to him in Spanish. Glad for the comfort of an old friend to help me. His soft whines of reply settled my tense shoulders and made me lean into his course hair. Whispering a silent thank you.

Turning away from my beloved horse, I set to work on releasing him of the burden of his saddle. Unbuckling it and sliding it off his back. It was then that I heard a noise from the hayloft above me, stilling me in my actions with Mateo. I listened intently, waiting to hear the sounds again. Sure enough, the heavy thump I heard before resounded again in the echoing barn, this time accompanied by the muffled sounds of someone trying to shout. I laid Mateo's saddle and reins across the ledge separating him from another empty stall and stepped away.

"Is someone there?" I called out, looking around the large empty surroundings.

The bang came again, but harder this time, alerting me to that the sound was definitely coming from above me. Walking over to the ladder that led to the loft, I started to climb, my progress slow and wary. As I crept further and further up the wooden ladder, I first came across the soles of thick black boots, followed by the dark coloured fabric pant, adorned with rips and holes in the knees. The further I climbed the more I saw, until eventually I came across a girl bound and gagged and dressed in the most awful attire anyone could of put her in.

She wore a light coloured shirt with a heavy coat that looked to be made of leather. When I raised my shocked eyes to her face, I saw her deep green eyes wide with surprise and something else. Eyes that I would of thought to have been brimming with fear and terror at being held against her will, with no way to escape or call for help. But the sentiments I expected were not present upon first glance.

I saw her long dark hair fanning her face in disarray and with straw sticking to it. Her hands - I noticed - were bound behind her back as were her feet stretched before her. Her eyes travelled all over me, taking in my own appearance without a trace of alarm. Only familiarity and trust.

I slowly crept towards her to show I meant her no harm. That I was only trying to help. When I reached her, I knelt down beside her, taking in her rumpled expression.

"Miss?" I asked, bringing her out of her daze. She sucked in a breath, her eyes misting over slightly, but still she continued to look upon me with fascination. "Miss? Are you all right?"

Concerned I looked back at her, disgusted that something would happen like this to her. And so close to the O'Neil home too. Keeping eye contact with her, I reached down to my booted leg and withdrew my knife, slowly pulling my hand away with the weapon obvious to see. I expected her to start screaming or crying. Any kind of emotional display, but she just watched curious as I neared the blade closer and closer to her face, slipping it beneath the rope tied around her.

"Don't be afraid," I spoke, hoping she could hear the sincerity of my tone. "I'm going to untie you. Who did this to you?" With one quick action, I cut the rope free, letting it fall to the young girls lap, who looked to be around my sister, Josephina's age.

Leaning around her, I sliced my knife through the ropes tied tightly around her slim wrists. Also breaking them free. I noticed they were red and raw from the chaffing and effort she must have enforced to try and break free.

"Can you speak?" I asked, coming back around to face her as I moved forward to cut loose her ankles. Glad to see her garish footwear had stopped her ankles from having the same reaction her wrists were having to endure. Once I had cut her free, I laid my knife aside to assure her I wasn't going to use it anymore than necessary, and untied my flask at my hip, handing it to the defenceless girl before me. "Here."

She greedily took the water flask from me, drinking from it rapidly and making small droplets fall down her chin and onto her clothes.

"Easy," I said softly, pulling the flask away from her slightly to indicate for her to drink it slower. "I can get you more. Stay here and I'll get help - "

But much to my surprise, before I had the opportunity to finish my sentence, she dropped the flask to the straw strewn floor with a clatter and reached forward to clasp my shirt front in her own balled fists. Her grip tight and panicked. I looked back at her, surprise showing all over my face at her sudden reaction. But also by the strength of her hold on me.

"No." She croaked, her voice raspy and dry. "Don't go." Her eyes pleaded with me. The soft green shining back into my own, her grip telling of the sudden dread in her eyes at my leaving her. If only for a short time. Her breathing was heavy and frantic, all the signs pointing to shock.

Once I managed to pry her rigid fingers from my shirt, I reached forward to pick up the flask she dropped in her haste, shaking it to see how much water was left and handed it back to her to finish.

"Who are you?" I asked, watching as she drank the water a lot slower this time, her eyes never leaving mine. "Who did this - left you here like this?" The overpowering need to protect this girl - who I had never met before - was as equally as strong in me, as they are for my sisters. Everything about this unknown girl cried for help. But there was something familiar in her eyes I couldn't decipher. Something in the ease and unconcern she showed around me. Completely relaxed with my presence. And the trust she instilled in me . . .

But I couldn't recall ever meeting her before now.

She drank what was left of the water in the flask and lowered it from her lips. I couldn't hide the outraged and appalled behaviour of the person to have done such a thing to this young girl. I knew it was shining in my eyes, though I tried to keep it from my voice. I could see she knew of the boiling anger and feelings shimmering beneath the surface. Though I said nothing about it.

"A . . . a man," She stuttered. Her eyes unwavering from my own, but a little unsure. I was slightly unnerved at just how well I could seem to read her. Or of how easily she seemed to be able to realize what I was thinking, or feeling. As if she knew me as well as I knew myself.

"And did this same man," I asked, furrowing my brow and narrowing my eyes at the state of her appearance. "put you in these outlandish clothes?" I couldn't help but sweep my gaze over the jacket and pants she wore. At the heavy black footwear she bared on her feet. When I raised my eyes to hers again, I saw amusement dancing in their deep depths, pulling me in.

"Yes," She spoke, her voice nothing but a gentle murmur compared to the deep baritone of my own. I tried to break my gaze of her own, but found I couldn't do so. Finally it was the look of affection creeping forth in them - along with something much deeper - that made me break the hold we both had. She looked away from me with a slight blush to her cheeks, avoiding my eyes for the first time since I had found her here.

The silence that came between us was surprisingly comfortable, putting me at ease slightly. Enough to be able to bring my thoughts back to the present and of why the unknown girl was sitting before me.

"I'll see him horsewhipped," I said, breaking the quiet. My tone cool and matter-of-fact. But my curiosity was still rising as to just who this girl was. And how she had come to have such an intimate knowledge of me. "Who are you? Your family must be looking for you - "

"Um," She said, interrupting me. "No, they aren't. I mean . . . I doubt it. And my name is Suze."

I furrowed my brow again, trying to speak her name. "Soose?" But it came out sounding a lot different than how she had originally spoken it. It was a name I had never encountered before.

"Suze," She said with a laugh. The sound was so light and smooth, it sent a shiver through me that I found hard to suppress. She sounded so happy and genuinely amused. It was hard not to break out in to a smile in return. Her own making her face come alive with a soft glow. Bringing colour to her pale cheeks and a flush to appear on my own for witnessing it. My heart thumped in my chest at seeing the sparkle in her eyes. "Susannah. As in _'Oh, Susannah, Don't You Cry For Me.'"_

But as soon as her last words left her, I saw a sudden shadow pass before her eyes. Making the smile drop from her face and her eyes to look downcast from my own. It was easy to see the sudden flash of pain to run across her expression. And of the sadness lingering in the background. I realized with no small amount of surprise, that I didn't want to see such sadness in her eyes. The eyes of the girl I had only just come to know as Susannah. The emotions she set off inside me were foreign.

And yet left me feeling terrified for reasons that I wished were not apparent.

"Susannah," I said, sitting back down onto the dusty and straw covered loft. Giving her my full attention. "Susannah O'Neil, perhaps? You are related to Mr. and Mrs. O'Neil? Let me get them. I know they'll want to see that you're safe - "

"No," Susannah interrupted me again, shaking her head in refusal. "My, um, family is far away. You can't get them. I mean, thank you, but . . . you can't get them."

"Then this man . . . " I asked. I knew I shouldn't have been, but I was unable to keep the small hum of excitement from coursing through me. Susannah sitting before me was different in so many ways, I didn't know where to start. The strange occurrence of how we came to meet was making it worse. But the oddest sense, that she was important, that this was important wouldn't leave me. But I also had an feeling, that my life wouldn't be the same now that I had met her. "Who is he? I'll fetch the sheriff. He must pay for what he's done."

"No. No, that's okay." Susannah said, denying my request to get her help and in doing so, punishing the man that has done such an awful travesty to her. I was puzzled as to why she would keep doing so. Believing it to be fear. "I mean, that's all right. Don't get the sheriff - " She continued upon seeing my expression.

I interrupted her this time. "You needn't fear him anymore, Susannah," I said gently. "I won't let him hurt you again." I wasn't aware of just how deeply I meant what I said, until the words had been spoken. The force of the simple statement startling me.

"I'm not afraid of him, Jesse," Susannah said, her own words clearly said with strength. The sincerity of her own tone taking me by surprise.

"Then - " I asked, before breaking off. The sudden weight of her words having their full impact on me. Of the soothing way she spoke my name. The same name only my family called me. And those close to me. "Wait. How did you know my name?"

I looked back at her, raking her face once again for any sign of recognition. Hoping for a memory to surface and make me aware of who the young girl was before me. Susannah noticed my stare and brought her hand up to brush her hair out of her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. Her cheeks were flushed with embarrasement, her eyes dropping to avoid mine.

"Do I know you?" I asked, searching and searching. "Have we met? Are you . . . are you one of the Anderson girls?"

"We haven't met," Susannah informed me, shyly raising her eyes and shrugging her shoulders minutely. "Yet. But . . . I know you. I mean, I know . . . about you." Her last words were almost spoken in a whisper, making me only just able to hear them.

"You do?" Then suddenly it dawned on me how she might know me. "Wait . . . yes! Now I know. You're friends with one of my sisters. From school? Mercedes? You know Mercedes?" But Susannah only shook her head, fumbling around in her jacket pocket, looking for something. "Josefina then?" I asked, looking at her more, trying to gauge her age. "You must be close to her age, fifteen, yes? You don't know Josefina? You can't know Marta, she's too old - "

Having finally found what she was looking for, Susannah handed a miniature portrait of me in the palm of her hand, making me break off from my query in mid stride to look down upon it.

"_Nombre de Dios_," I softly said, taking the object from her hand.

The implications of just _how_ Susannah had come about acquiring this, made my barely controlled mass of emotions boiling beneath the surface threaten to rise up. Anger being in the lead. My furious thoughts constantly ran through what Maria was trying to do. Of the underhanded tactless way she was trying to break off our engagement. Of the repercussions that would come back to me for the way she was doing such a thing.

I was unperturbed though. I had set out on this journey today to visit with Maria and her father. I had every intention of breaking our engagement that seemed like a farce to her, properly. The acts and rumors to have been surrounding her forcing me to do the only thing I could to save my family and myself some dignity and pride.

Attributes I was quickly finding out Maria did not contain.

"Where did you get this?" I demanded of Susannah, making her flinch with my harsh tone. Curling my long fingers around the small portrait in the palm of my hand. Hoping it would quell my anger rising quicker and quicker. "Only one person has a portrait like this."

"I know," Susannah sadly replied, surprising me by not even flinching from the hostile anger and glare I was directing at her for the moment. I absently wondered if she knew my real fury wasn't directed at her. But Maria. "Your fiancee, Maria. You're here to marry her. Or at least, that's the plan. You're on your way to see her now, but her father's ranch is still pretty far off, so you're staying here for the night before you go on to her place in the morning."

My rage started to simmer down and bewilderment took it's place at just how much Susannah knew. Suddenly weary and frustrated, I raised my hand and raked it through my thick dark hair. Looking to Susannah and noticing the small signs of tears in her eyes. I softened my tone even more when I spoke.

"How do you know all this?" I asked desperately. "You're . . . you're friends with Maria? Did she . . . give you this?" The disbelief that someone like Susannah, whos eyes held so much and told such deep secrets, couldn't possible be friends with someone like Maria. Susannah seemed too different. So compassionate.

"Not exactly." Susannah said, taking a deep breath in anticipation. "Jesse, my name is Susannah Simon," She said in a rush. "I'm what's called a mediator. I'm from the future. And I'm here to keep you from being murdered tonight."

I stared at her. That was all I could do. Because the words Susannah had just spoken didn't make any sense to me. My first reaction was to laugh, the disbelief at what she just said was that great, that I wanted to chuckle. But once I saw the complete seriousness on her delicate features, I couldn't do anything but stare at her in wonder. Curious as to how she managed to come up with such a tall tale for me.

"Jesse. Did you hear me? I said I'm here from the future to save you from being - "

"I heard what you said," I interrupted Susannah, smiling down at her as if I was smiling at one of the stories my younger sisters would run and tell me at the end of the day. Expecting me to play along and pretend it was real. But Susannah wasn't one of my sisters. And her tale wasn't a game, neither was the act Maria was trying to play.

"Do you know what I think would be best? If you would let me get Mrs. O'Neil. She'll take good care of you while I go to town and get the doctor. Because I think the man who did this to you - tied you like this - might also have hit you on the head - "

"Jesse," Susannah interrupted me flatly. Now as if she were speaking to a child. "Paul didn't hit me in the head. All right? I'm fine. A little thirsty still, but otherwise fine. I just need you to listen to me. Tonight Felix Diego is going to sneak into your room here at the boarding house and strangle you to death. Then he's going to throw your body into a shallow grave, and no one is going to find it until a century and a half later, when my step-dad installs a hot tub on our deck."

Some of the words Susannah was saying, were leaving me confused and without understanding. The way she spoke to me, told of a different upbringing. But still, I looked down into her eyes with a look I knew must have been riddled with pity for her and her helpless plight.

"Jesse, I'm serious," Susannah said, her tone speaking the same of her words. "You've got to go home. Okay? Just get back on your horse and turn around and go home, and don't even think about marrying Maria de Silva."

Susannah finally said the piece of evidence I was waiting for. Confirming my thoughts that Maria had sent Susannah to me. That she was trying to break off our engagement before I had the chance to. To try and save face. I had brought her letters she had sent to me and fully intended to give them back, and for my own to be returned. And no amount of distraction or delayed tactics was going to stop me.

"Maria did send you," I said, my voice hardening and growing darker, matching my expression. "This is her way of trying to save face, is it? Well, you can go back to your mistress and tell her it won't work. I won't have her family thinking I wasn't gentleman enough to break it off in person - no matter who she sends with strange tales to frighten me off. I'm going to see her tomorrow whether she likes it or not."

Susannah sat back against the hay behind her. Blinking at me in confusion until a dawning light of recognition entered her bright eyes. "Wait," She exclaimed, suddenly calm and less frantic. "Hold on. Jesse, Maria didn't send me. I don't even know Maria. Well, I mean, we've met, but - "

"You have to know her." I said, looking down to the framed miniature portrait of myself I held in my hand. Maria was the only one to posses it. "She gave this to you. She must have. How else could you have gotten it?"

"Um," Susannah said with a shrug, a slight tint of pink brushing her cheeks again. "Actually I stole it." Seeing the dark look to fill my eyes and face after her confession to me, she quickly amended herself. "Oh, no," She said, raising her hands in a placating gesture. "Down, boy. I didn't steal it from your precious Maria, believe me. I stole it from Carmel Historical Society, okay? A museum, where it had been sitting for God knows how long. In fact, I bet if you check with good old Maria, she still has hers. Her portrait of you, I mean."

"There were no duplicates made," I said, my voice hard and unemotional.

"I know that." She said, taking another breath of patience. My own was wearing extremely thin. "But look at the one you're holding, Jesse. Look how old it looks, how cracked the paint is, how tarnished that frame's gotten. That's because it's nearly two hundred years old. I stole it in the future, Jesse. I used it to help me get back here, to the past, so I could warn you . . . " Susannah broke off, seeing that I wasn't satisfying her with listening or accepting her words. "You've got to believe me, Jesse. Paul - the guy who tied me up - will back me up on this. He's out looking for Felix Diego right now to try and stop him before he can get to you - "

I shook my head at her, feeling my patience coming close to being completely gone. I wanted to shout, to rant. But the knowledge that you should never raise a voice to a lady, kept my anger at bay and from completely taking over.

"I don't know who you are," I said in a low warning tone. "But I'm returning this - " I swung my miniature portrait before her. " - to its rightful owner. Whatever game you're playing, it ends now. Do you understand?"

I saw Susannah get a defiant and stubborn look in her eyes, then. Her own anger and patience rising to the surface to match my own. "There's no game, Jesse, okay? If this were just a game - if Maria really did send me - how would I know the stuff I know? How would I know that Maria and Diego are secretly in love? How would I know that your girl-friend - who is quite the skank, by the way - doesn't want to marry you at all? And that her dad doesn't approve of Diego and thinks if she marries you she'll forget about him eventually? How do I know that the two of them have cooked up a scheme to kill you tonight and hide your body so it looks as though you skipped out on the engagement - "

"_Nombre de Dios_." I muttered, quickly climbing to my feet. Susannah's words echoing all around me, impaling me further and further. Telling me things it could have been so easy for Maria to have told her. So she could use it as proof against me. But the most frustrating thing was a part of me believed her. That I knew she was speaking the truth, as hard and unbelievable as that was for me to admit. A part of me knew I could trust Susannah.

And my anger. My anger was directed at myself more than Susannah. I was furious for letting the situation with Maria carry on for as long as it did. I was appalled with my behaviour towards Susannah. Who I could see was going through as much pain as I was. The tears of frustration in her eyes and the shaking of her hands were not things that could be easily fabricated. I knew Susannah was desperate to get me to understand. To believe her. But it went against everything I knew. Everything I thought.

But not everything I felt.

My simple plan of going and seeing Maria and her father, to return her letters was all being blown apart. How did it become so complicated?! How had it become so out of control?! And how had I let myself be coerced into believing the words of a strange girl I have never met before, but feel as though I have known for a lifetime!

I angrily stomped my way around on the hayloft. Making the boards beneath me shake with my heavy footfalls. My heart was hammering in my chest, and my hands were continuously running through my hair. I eventually dropped back down to Susannah's side, gripping her slender shoulders beneath my large warm hands. Giving her a frustrated shake.

"You know all this because Maria told you!" I said through gritted teeth. "Admit it! She told you!" I quickly let her go, standing back up and pacing around again. Unable to shake the truth waiting to invade my mind. I let out a groan of annoyance. Conveying all my pent up emotion and strain.

"Look, I'm sorry," Susannah said. I knew she was being sincere, but it still hurt to hear. It hurt to hear the affliction I had caused her, with barely knowing her. Of the way I reacted, of the truth I couldn't admit too. Her voice held nothing but sympathy for me. Making myself sorry for everything that was occurring, now. Then. Before.

"I mean, about your girlfriend wanting to kill you and all. Even if you were going to, you know, break up and all. But if it's any consolation, I do think you're a lot better off without her. I mean, the only times I ever met her, she was trying to kill me, too, but still. Better you find out she's a skank now, you know, and break it off cleanly, than find out after you're married. Because I don't even know if they let people get divorced in, you know, your time."

"Stop saying that!" I cried, burying both of my hands in my hair, gripping it till it hurt.

"What? Skank?" Susannah asked bewildered by my outburst. "Well, okay. But the girl seems like major bad news."

"No." I rasped, turning to stare down at Susannah sitting on the floor. My eyes burned into her own, showing more than I wished she could see. "_Your time. The future._ You . . . you . . . I'm sorry, Miss Susannah. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to get the sheriff after all. Because you are very clearly not right in the head."

_"Miss_ Susannah!" She exclaimed, choking on a sob. And to my utter shock and remorse, I saw tears gather beneath her long eyelashes and teetering on the edge. Welling thick and fast. "So it's Miss Susannah, is it?" She asked me, making me soften my gaze imperceptibly. She turned away from me, unable to stare into my own emotional gaze. "Oh, that's just great. I come all the way back here, risking major brain cell burnout, and you don't even believe me? I'm basically guranteeing myself a lifetime of heart-break, and all you have to say is that you think I'm not right in the head? Thanks a lot, Jesse. No, really. That's just fine."

Putting her hands over face in a desperate bid to save herself, Susannah cried. The sobs wrenched the air around us, making my guilt and remorse for being so harsh and stern, intensify. Watching her shoulders shake with the power of her tears. I wished to lay a supportive hand upon her. To try and help, to soothe her. Anything to stop her heartbreaking scene before me.

Her words had been spoken fast, but I understood the majority of them. I wanted to turn away from her private and emotional display. To give her some semblance of dignity, but the harder she cried, the more I couldn't tear my eyes away.

It was as I was contemplating stepping forward to try and console her, that she suddenly lifted her head to gaze at me through tear filled eyes. The wet streaks of her tears down her face, made me pull Maria's handkerchief out of my pocket to hand to her. Hardly noticing her quick intake of breath and a new determination about her.

"Doctor," Susannah simply said, looking up at me.

"Yes," I said, trying to hand her the handkerchief, but she brushed it aside. "Let me get one for you. I really feel that, despite what you say, Miss Susannah, you are unwell - "

"No." She adamantly stated, brushing away the tears that slipped free, with the back of her hand. "Not for me. You."

I let a small smile break out on to my face at the new direction the conversation had quickly taken. Of the rapid change of Susannah's emotions. "I need a doctor? I assure you, Miss Susannah, I have never felt fitter in my life."

"No." Susannah said again, stumbling to her feet. She had been sitting in the same position for a long time, so when she stood her legs nearly buckled from beneath her. But she brushed away my hand of offering to help.

She stood before me, her breathing heavy in the growing silence around us. Her eyes were wide with a new found hope. "A doctor," She said, making her smile intensify with each passing word. "You secretly want to be a doctor," She said, hitching her chin and staring up at me. "You haven't asked him, but you know your father won't let you. He needs you to run the ranch, because you're the only boy. They couldn't spare you long enough for you to get through medical school, anyway."

I looked down into the confident, self assured eyes of Susannah. The stranger I had met, bound and gagged in the hayloft of a barn. Into the face of a girl who had sparked a barrage of hidden emotions in me, leaving me overwhelmed and shocked. She had told me a story I had believed to be a tall tale. A story made up by my fiancee, so she would be able to break away from the engagement, I was on my way to stop myself. She had spoken of a time in the future, where I had been walking the earth for a century and a half, meeting and befriending her. And possible more.

She had surprised me with everything she had told me. Desperate to make me understand and believe her. Raising my anger and my distress with myself and with her. But most off, with the new dilemma I had found myself in. She had given me facts that I believed Maria to have told her. Speaking of truths that could so easily have been heard from anyone. Raising my suspicions and a deep set honesty that I didn't want or wish to acknowledge to myself, or to Susannah.

Until now. Until she told me a secret that may have been spoken in the future. Of a moment we shared between us, where I delved into my hidden desires and wishes and told her of my dreams. Telling of a secret I wished - but knew - I could never have. A secret I have - to this day - never told a living soul.

Except maybe for the familiar girl standing before me, now. In this time.

"How . . . ?" I stuttered looking down incredulously at Susannah. Words failing me. "How could you possible have . . . ? I have never told anyone that."

Susannah surprised me again then, by reaching out her hand and entwining her smaller and paler one in my own. I could feel the soft smoothness of her palm, touching the cool skin of my own. Our fingers locked and held, Susannah's grip and my own, held tight as if afraid to let go. I looked down at our combined hands, slowly running my calloused thumb over the delicate area on the back of Susannah's hand. Marvelling in the shiver running through me and the quickening of my heart.

So loud, I'm sure Susannah could hear it.

"You told me," Susannah quietly said, making me raise my eyes back to her own. "You told me in the future."

I gently shook my head at Susannah's statement, weakly denying her again. "That . . . that's not possible," I said. But even to my own ears, I knew there was no conviction in my words. No force or strength. Almost a calm acceptance.

"Yes," Susannah said, a rueful smile playing across her lips. "Yes, it is. You see, what happens tonight is that Diego kills you. But only your body dies, Jesse. Your soul doesn't go anywhere, because . . . well, because I think it wasn't supposed to happen like that." Susannah looked up at me with such tenderness, I could feel the heat infusing my cheeks. "I think you were supposed to live. But you didn't. So your soul hung around until I came along, about a hundred and fifty years later. I'm someone who helps . . . well, people who've died. You told me you wanted to be a doctor, Jesse. You told me in the future. Do you believe me now? Will you please go away from here and never come back?"

Looking back down at Susannah's fingers entwined with my own, I let her words sink in. Letting her softly spoken speech seep into my mind. The thought of Diego killing me, so Maria could have what she wanted. That I would walk alone for so long, trapped in a world of loneliness and torment. That Susannah would find it within herself, to risk the danger of returning to my time, now. So she could stop my murder ever happening and give me the opportunity to live.

To cause herself the heart-break and pain. And to stop us from ever having met in the future. Something I knew, I would come to regret if the night played how Susannah wished for it to. That I would live the rest of life, knowing there was a girl I would never meet, and who risked everything to save me.

"If you know something like that about me," I said gently. "about wanting to be a doctor - something I have never told Maria - or any living person - then I must . . . I suppose I must . . . believe you."

"So," Susannah replied. "Now you know. You've got to get out of here, Jesse. Just get on your horse and ride."

"I will," I said, raising my eyes to Susannah's. Noting the relief I saw reflecting back to me. "But not," I continued, dropping her hand and stepping away, aware of just how close we were. "tonight."

"W-what?" Susannah stammered, stunned. "Not what?"

"Not tonight," I said, nodding towards the barn doors that spoke of the sun that had long since set, leaving us with very little light around us. "Tomorrow I will ride to the de Silvas' ranch to speak with Maria and her father. But not tonight. It's growing late. Too late to travel. I'll stay here tonight, and leave in the morning."

"But you can't!" Susannah cried in distress, making me give her my full attention. "You've got to leave now, Jesse, tonight! You don't understand, it's too dangerous - "

I let my most disarming smile creep across my face. The same one that always subdued my mother. And the same one that always let me get away with trouble with my sisters. And I was please to notice, it had the same desired reaction on Susannah. "I can take care of myself, Miss Susannah," I said. "I am not afraid of Felix Diego."

"Well, you should be!" Susannah shrieked at me. Increasing my amusement at her flustered reaction. "Considering that he kills you!"

"Ah," I smirked in return. "But if I understood you correctly, that was before you came to warn me . . . for which I thank you." I sincerely responded. Susannah took another deep breath in anticipation, placing her hands together and imploring me once again.

"Jesse," Susannah said, trying to make me understand again. "You can't spend the night in that house. Do you understand? It's way too dangerous." But I took Susannah by surprise again when I said what I did next.

"I understand." Because I did. I had no intention of sleeping in the room Felix Diego would know I would be staying in. Nothing could pull me away and make me leave Susannah alone in the hayloft for the entire night. Not if her captor returned, or if Diego found out she was here. The fierce protectiveness I felt for Susannah at the beginning, had only strengthened with the knowledge of the danger she had willingly put herself into, trying to save and protect me.

It went against everything I am and feel to do such a terrifying thing. "You do?" Susannah stared at me. "Really? Then you'll go?"

"No," I said. "I won't go."

"But - "

"I will stay here," I said, interrupting her, nodding to the hayloft we were standing on. "With you. Until morning."

Susannah stared at me, even more taken aback. "Here?" She echoed. "Here . . . in the barn?"

"With you." I said.

"With me?"

"Yes." I said, a final note in my tone. But this time, Susannah had no retort for me. She only continued to stare up at me, something dancing across her eyes, I didn't know of. A relief that maybe I would live. That I would have the life she has sacrificed to come back an return to me. A grief at what she was to lose when this was all over. Of the loss she would feel, unknowing why. And the affection I saw, directed at me making me want to look deeper. To feel deeper.

To understand why she was going to such lengths to do this for me.

I didn't realize I had spoken my curiosity until I saw the shock on Susannah's face. "I have to ask, though . . . why?" I questioned, raking my eyes over Susannah's face as if I might find some sort of clue.

"Why what?" Susannah murmured, lost in her own daze.

"Why you did you do this - come all this way - to warn me about Diego?" I asked

Susannah instantly opened her mouth to tell me, before quickly changing her mind at the last moment and looking anywhere but at me. She seemed to need to take some time to come up with a believable answer. But somehow I already knew, why. I already knew what she wanted to say, but stopped herself from murmuring. It was the same reason I had been searching in her eyes for, moments before.

And maybe, there was a part of me, that hoped it was what my heart was trying to tell me.

But before Susannah could answer, someone elses voice joined our own. But it wasn't the kind voice of Mrs. O'Neil. Or the gruff tone of Mr. O'Neil. This voice was full of confidence and danger. A kindness trying to be exuded, but failing dramatically.

"Senor de Silva?" Felix Diego called out, making Susannah tense and hold her breath before me. Her eyes widened and locked on my own. A sudden fear running through them. Her nightmare coming to life before her.

"It's him," Susannah whispered to me, her hands shaking as she raised them to her face. I nodded to her in acknowledgment and bent low to pick up the lantern, burning with a tiny flame. I retrieved my knife at the same time and placed it back in my boot. I turned the dial on the lantern to make the flame soar, casting more light over the area around Susannah and myself. Her features looked paler and more terrified with the shadows playing across them.

"Who's there?" I called, walking to the edge of the loft with my lantern in hand, looking down into the darkness below.

He replied in Spanish, his tone meant to be friendly and inviting, informing me of his name. I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck at just how true the possibility of Diego coming to kill me was. He tried to coerce me into a conversation and invitation but I adamantly refused. I'm sure he became doubtful, but my own suspicions of him, far outweighed my concern that he would notice something wrong.

It was an awful coincidence that he would show up here, moments after Susannah told me of my supposed fate this night and by his hands.

Once he left, Susannah whispered an anxious question to me. "Well?" I held up my hand, indicating for her to be quiet until I was completely convinced he was gone. I strained my hearing over the sounds of the horses below, listening for something that seemed out of place. But finding nothing, I turned back to Susannah to answer her anxious questions.

"It was Felix Diego. He said his master - Maria's father - had sent him to see that I had everything I needed to be comfortable and to escort me on the remainder of my journey tomorrow." I informed her, aware of the grim expression to have taken over my face. Narrowing my eyes into a frown, I let my thoughts run wild through my mind.

"Has Maria's father ever done that when you've come to visit before?" Susannah asked, looking up at me as I crossed back over the small space to be by her side again.

"No." I said tersely. My anger starting to rise yet again.

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I was fine," I said, looking down into her frightened eyes, illuminated by my lantern. Surprising myself, I found the belief of Susannah's truth easy to accept. Having spoken with Diego myself, for my own suspicions to rise, the possibility that she was from the future to save me, seemed easier to understand. But the actual truth, of that Diego was planning to kill me, left me feeling furious. I shouldn't be astonished he would do such a thing. But the thought that it could happen to me, because Maria didn't wish to be embarrassed only made my anger that much brighter.

"I told him I'd be here all night," I carried on. "Because my horse was sick. He said my horse looked fine to him and suggested I join him outside for a bottle - "

Susannah sucked in a breath, her eyes widening with shock. "You didn't say yes, did you?"

"Of course not," I said, surprised at such a question. It would have been extremely foolish of me to have accepted his invitation, knowing of what he was planning. The will to fight and live was strong in me, that I had no doubt. But the need to protect Susannah was stronger. "I think you're right. I think he does mean to kill me."

Susannah looked back at my stunned expression. Her own face telling of a grief and knowledge of what was to befall me in the coming night. Her eyes shadowed and weary. Now that she had managed to get me to believe her, she seemed even more dejected and scared. Relieved I was to live, I could see this clearly. But still her grief shone through, nothing she felt, it seemed was unable to be hidden from me.

Just as Susannah was about to speak, the sounds of footsteps on the ladder leading to the loft caught both Susannah's and my own, attention. She quickly got to her feet, ready to face the person coming up to us. Judging from the suddenly angry look on her face, I wasn't sure what she was planning on doing, but I knew she thought it was Diego.

But I knew better. His footfalls were too light to have been him. The steps heavy all the same, but lighter than Diego's.

Susannah made forward for the edge of the loft, but was halted by me stepping in front of her and throwing an arm out to stop her progress. She came to a stop with a slight skid on the hay, looking to me stubbornly. But she soon backed down when she saw the dangerous glint in my eye, ready to protect her with my life if that was the case to be.

I watched as a dark curly head came up the ladder to have a full view of me. His blue eyes faintly shining surprise, before turning into a scowl and looking past me to Susannah. "Oh great," He said, when he climbed onto the loft fully. "Oh, this is just great. What's_ he_ doing here?" He glared at me, which I happily returned to him. Only more intense and threatening.

"He just found me, Paul," Susannah said, looking around me. I scrutinised the boy before me, taking in his own dress and appearance. His clothes looked to be similar to the ones of Susannah's. His face confident and smug. And his name stirring a memory. Paul. The name of Susannah's captor.

Unable to with hold my question, I glared at 'Paul'. "Is this him? The man who tied you up?" I asked, gesturing to him before me.

With a heavy sigh, Susannah muttered her answer behind me, making my anger at him earlier for what he did to Susannah, rise to the surface. "Yeah that's him." She said, quickly noticing my balled fists at my side.

But it was too late when she reacted. I launched myself at Paul, tackling him to the hayloft with a thump, causing the horses below - including my own - to whine and stomp in their stables. Upset at the disruption and drama playing out above them.

"Stop it!" Susannah cried to us, trying to pull me off of Paul beneath me. He in return didn't try to put up a fight, only attempting to defend himself. Pushing at me, trying to get me to lose my tight grip on his shirt and my threatening glare in his face. I was preparing to raise my tight fist when he called out to Susannah trying to pull us apart.

"Get him off me! Suze, get him_ off - " _I did let go this time, quickly letting go of his shirt, causing him to thump to the hayloft floor. I stood back up, breathing hard with the exertion that came with tackling him. My blood was pumping through me, making my heart thump loudly in my chest. I could hear a roaring in my ears, all sound slightly muffled. The air was filled with dust and piece of straw settling around us.

"What the - " Paul exclaimed as he climbed to his feet, brushing himself off. "God, Suze. What did you tell him about me? Doesn't he know I'm the good guy here? You're the one who was going to let him get - "

"He knows," Susannah interrupted quickly.

Paul stopped brushing himself off when Susannah informed him of my knowledge of my coming death. That Susannah and Paul - I assumed - were from the future. Here to stop my fate from playing out, thus giving me the chance to live.

"He knows?" He echoed. "As in . . ._ knows_ knows?"

"He knows," Susannah said again, sounding tired.

"Well," Paul said with a small smile of curiosity on his face. "What brought about that little change of heart? I thought - "

"That was before," Susannah said quickly, casting her eyes downward and away from Paul's knowing ones and my own intrigued gaze. She crossed her arms over herself in a defensive stance. Chewing on her lower lip.

"Before_ what?"_ Paul asked, making Susannah sigh again. He found a piece of straw in his hair and pulled it out carelessly. I had an inkling as to why Susannah had come to all this danger and trouble, but why was he. We obviously didn't seem to get on. I would of been able to see this before I knew what he had done to Susannah. But what was his own motive.

"Before I saw him," Susannah softly replied, turning away from both of us. I glared at Paul for his line of questioning and for making Susannah upset again. But I was still angry at him for what he did to Susannah before. If I hadn't of come when I did, she could still have been tied up here by herself for a great deal longer amount of time.

"I don't know if it's considered normal in the time you come from to leave woman bound and gagged," I said harshly. "But in this day and age, allow me to assure you that such behaviour would generally land a gentleman in jail." Although I wasn't sure I could call him a gentleman. Not without sneering at the thought, or the word when talking about the boy before me.

"You know," Paul said, just looking at me. "I think I like your ghost better." I sent him a withering glare and turned back to face Susannah.

"He's here," She said to Paul, her voice strong and confident again. "Felix Diego, I mean."

"I know," He said, looking back to Susannah calmly. "I followed him back here." I looked at his state of dress again, and wondered how he managed to not get caught. He looked so out of place.

"I thought you were going to get rid of him!" Susannah cried.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't just walk up to him and suck out his soul in front of everyone." He replied, looking to Susannah and shrugging his shoulders carelessly.

"Why not," Susannah demanded, making me raise my eyebrows at her tone.

"Because I would've gotten shot, that's why not."

"But you could have just shifted back to the future - " Susannah tried again, losing her resolve on her patience and her frustration. I watched their conversation with interest. Of the way they spoke to each other. Of the verbal battle between them. Susannah, I had quickly realized was very independent and spoke her mind. It only served to pique my interest even more, of just what their time was like.

"Uh, and kept you tied up in Mrs. O'Neil's hayloft? I don't think so. I'd have had to come back and rescue you." He threw me a swift look, raking over my own appearance. I crossed my arms over my chest glaring once again at his sneer towards me. "I didn't know, of course, that Prince Charming here had come along and done it for me."

"So what are we going to do?" Susannah asked. Causing Paul to look at me once again.

"Well," He said. "What does Wonderboy here want to do?"

"Wonderboy?" I said, sending a threatening glance towards Paul in return. Disliking the tone he used as he said the name, I assumed was in regards to me. "Is this person a friend of mine in the future?" I asked Susannah.

"No." She said to me, before turning to Paul. "I tried to get him to leave, but he won't go."

Paul looked at me again, his expression devoid of emotion. "Buddy" He said, in a tone that sounded very patronising and belittling. "I'm not telling you this because I like you. Believe me. But if you stay here, you're gonna get iced. Simple as that. That Diego guy? He means business."

"I'm not afraid of him." I replied through gritted teeth. Hoping they would stop questioning me. I spoke the truth. Diego didn't frighten me. What he could do to Susannah if I didn't stop him, was what instilled the fear in me. Not the thought of having to go up against him.

"See what I mean?" Susannah asked, addressing Paul.

"Great." Paul said, moving to sit down on one of the hay bales, looking grim and frustrated. "This is just great. So when Diego comes to kill him, he can take a crack at you and me, too."

Susannah opened her mouth to say something, but I beat her too it. "If you think I would leave you alone with her again," I said, my hard stare never wavering from Paul's. "you don't know me at all in this future you speak of."

"Don't worry," Paul replied, holding up a weary hand and settling back slightly on the hay. "I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Jesse. Well, that's it then." He broke off, laying back more comfortable. "We wait. And if he comes back, thinking you've fallen asleep and he can do the job out here, we take him."

"No." I said, my jaw clenched so tightly together, I was surprised it didn't crack with the pressure and strain. My tone was hard and dangerous. Daring either of them to fight me on it. "_I_ will take him."

"Uh, no offense," Paul said. "but Suze and I, we came here especially just to - "

"I said I'll do it." I repeated. My voice dipping lower with each word. This was my fight. My battle. It was because of me that they found themselves walking into this danger. It is my place to protect Susannah, and Paul if I must. It isn't anyone else's place to do what has to be done. I hoped they would know that. Susannah, I could see begrudgingly did. And Paul, although seeming to give in easily, I knew wasn't happy with it either. "I'm the one he's come to kill. I am the one who will stop him."

I watched as Susannah and Paul exchanged a look, before Paul sighed and lifted the horse blanket by him to cover himself and stretched out on the hay, in a corner of the loft. "Fine," He said. "Wake me when it's time to shift home."

I watched with distaste as he closed his eyes and attempted to sleep. I saw Susannah glance at me out of the corner of my eyes, making me turn to look at her in wonder. "You two are friends in the place you come from?" I asked, with no small amount of disbelief.

"Uh," She shyly replied, turning to sit down on the dusty floor again. "Not really. More like . . . colleagues. We both have the same . . . gift, I guess you'd call it."

"For traveling through time," I said. I couldn't help but notice how comfortable the silence between us was. How relaxed I felt when it was just Susannah and myself. I had so many questions for her, I didn't think I could contain them.

"Yes," She said. "And . . . other things."

"And when I kill Diego," I said, moving to sit by the lantern and near Susannah. Having no doubt in my mind I would kill Diego. "you'll go back where you came from." I hoped the disappointment wasn't clear in my voice. Should she be able to see it in my eyes, I turned away on the pretense of lowering the flame of the lantern. An indication to Diego when he came, that I may have fallen asleep.

"Yes," Susannah quietly spoke, looking at me with her knees pulled up close to her.

"And you want to help me," I asked again - my voice just as quiet as her own - repeating my question from earlier. The same one Diego had interrupted before Susannah had the chance to answer. "because . . . ?"

Susannah had raised her eyes to me when I had asked my question, looking at me with eyes so full of emotion it was overwhelming. Her gaze swept over my face. Looking at the scar through my eyebrow, sweeping down to my dark eyes. I intently watched her in the soft light as she followed down my nose to rest on my lips. Her curious but gently gaze left me feeling exposed and vulnerable. But I couldn't tear my own eyes from her shimmering green ones. Captured in the sea of sentiments I saw dancing there.

Until finally she dropped her head again, picking at a loose thread on her clothes. Answering my question. "Because it's what I do," She said, her voice souding strained and choked. Like it was painful to speak them. Only sealing the fact that I believed it to be something more than that.

She coughed to clear her throat, alerting me to the slight discomfort she was in due to our conversation. But it didn't stop me from asking.

"And you do this - " I gestured to the hayloft, of Paul supposedly sleeping in the straw and the ground floor of where Diego had stood. Hoping Susannah understood what I meant. " - for all who die before their time?"

"Uh, not exactly," Susannah said. "Yours is kind of . . . a special case."

"And are all the girls from your time," I asked, noticing Susannah's gaze flitting across my face again. "like you?"

"Like me? Like . . . that they're mediators?" She asked, settling on my eyes.

"No," I shook my head. "Unafraid, like you. Brave, like you." I spoke the words with more force than I intended. But I meant every one. The courage she has shown me today. To do the right thing, no matter how perilous the situation may be, was inspiring. There was something deeper than what was on the surface with Susannah. An underlying strength, I don't think she knew she had.

She spoke of heartache to come. And the grief was already clear in her eyes. But still, she put that aside, to right a wrong done. To make a sacrifice so great and powerful, nothing could exceed it.

But Susannah didn't see what I saw.

"I'm not brave, Jesse," Susannah smile ruefully, dipping her head and letting her hair brush across her cheeks to hide her blush at the sincerity of my words to her.

"You're staying here," I said, indicating the loft. "Even though you know - or think you know - something terrible is going to happen."

"Well sure," Susannah said. "Because that's the whole reason I came. To make sure it doesn't. Although, to be truthful . . . " Susannah threw a cautious glance at Paul. " - really I came here to stop him. Paul, I mean. From stopping Diego. Because you see, if you don't die tonight, you and I - in the future, where I come from - will never meet. And I couldn't bear to let that happen. And you even - in the future - said you didn't want that to happen. Only . . . only . . . here I am, letting it happen. So you see, I'm not brave at all."

I looked to Susannah as she finished what she said. Taking in all her heartfelt words. The words that must have hurt to speak. To admit to me, not knowing of my reaction. I listened to her truth and confession. I accepted her speech without judgement or fear. And all it did, was re-enforce what I had just thought.

"I think you're wrong," I whispered.

Susannah lifted her head to smile at me, giving me a clear view of the tears pooling in her eyes. But I also saw she didn't believe me. And I didn't think she ever would. I was shocked to discover how I felt about that. How it was difficult to accept her defeat. An action that seemed so wrong with regards to Susannah.

But before I had the opportunity to correct her. To_ make _her believe, I heard the creak of the barn door open.

I froze where I was, holding my breath for the next part. I saw Paul sit up where he was stretched in the straw. Susannah, Paul and I, all alert and with an air of expectation around us. We heard a scrape of a boot hitting the bottom rung of the ladder, Diego preparing to climb up to the loft. I quickly laid my palm out flat, telling Susannah to stay where she was. Paul seeing my action, pursed his mouth into a grim line, giving me a nod of understanding.

But it was Susannah's eyes that held the hint of fear, a stubborn resolve and the bravery, strength and courage I had wanted to know. Her determination was clear to see. I prayed she wouldn't try anything. That she would trust me and let me do what needs to be done.

Then we saw him. His dark head and shoulders ascending up the ladder as quietly as possible. I had laid down flat, pretending to be asleep so as to not arouse suspicion. I prayed all his attention was on me and not Susannah or Paul in the corner. The lantern was by me, so it was my shape that he only saw.

He stepped onto the loft, his footsteps quiet and softened by the hay I lay on. He crept ever closer and closer. Making my heart hammer in anticipation. Waiting for the right moment to come. I heard the sound of leather sliding across fabric. Of the slow twining in hands, before Diego pulled whatever he had together with an audible 'snap'.

Then I spoke up. My words calm and assured, speaking to Diego in Spanish. Speaking the truth in cold words, taking Diego off guard and causing him to take a step back. But he wasn't startled long. He told me it was the truth. That he was here to kill me. He sounded so confident of what he was about to do. His belt pulled taut in each of his hands. The silver buckle, glinting in the lanterns lights. The weapon he used to kill me. On this night, in Susannah's time.

Only I wasn't going to let it happen.

I asked if Maria had sent him, wanting my suspicions to be confirmed. His only response was to laugh. A sound that was cruel and grating on my ears. Making the air around us shudder and tremble. I could feel my hands shaking with barely controlled fury, my heart hammering in my chest, waiting for him to make his move.

I didn't have to wait long. With one last nod and a laugh, he lunged for me. I faintly heard Susannah take a deep breath to scream, just as I rose to my feet, meeting Diego - my killer - head on. We grappled for control, both of us trying to get the upper hand or the advantage. I was fuelled by my fury and the need to protect Susannah. Diego was fuelled by his blind cold lust and greed to kill me.

He had the advantage over me slightly. He was bigger and heavier. But I was younger and faster. We stumbled and pushed at each other by the edge of the loft. Diego's growls of anger at my refusal to back down filled the tense air. His control slipping minutely as he fought to wrap his belt buckle around my throat. But with an almighty push, I shoved Diego off of me. Our breathing loud in the space between us.

Diego threw his belt aside, pulling out his long silver dagger attached to him. The evil sneer on his face accompanying the weakness I saw in him. Of his need to use a weapon because he couldn't do the task himself and without help. I almost laughed at him in pity.

"Jesse!" Susannah suddenly cried from the darkness of the loft. "Knife!"

Diego whirled around at the sound of Susannah's voice. "Who's there?" He asked in English. His distraction gave me enough time to pull my own knife out of my boot, holding it by my side where it gleamed in the light of the lantern, alerting Diego to my own weapon. The only thing I could use, now that Diego insisted on fighting dirty and unfair.

I heard Susannah say something, her voice raising slightly as she argued with Paul. But I tried to block out their loud discussion and to concentrate on the man before me. We circled each other, both with out knifes out raised, waiting for the other to make the first move. I wanted to wait for him, so I could use his weight to my advantage. If I lunged too quickly, I could lose. And fast.

"Then why aren't you helping him?" Susannah shouted, alerting Diego to their presence again.

"I don't need - " I said in return, ducking as Diego took a swing at me. " - any help!"

"Who are these people?" Diego snarled, lunging towards me again, making me jump backwards and out of the way. My feet teetering on the edge of the loft ledge. Coming precariously close to falling over. I quickly sidestepped it, hoping to stay as far away from it as possible, but far enough way so that Diego wouldn't see Susannah. Or Paul.

"No one," I said. "Pay no attention to them. This is between you and me."

We continued to circle each other. Diego seeming to step farther and farther away from me. Our breathing was heavy and my hand gripped the handle of my knife in a death grip. Determined to win this fight.

But then Diego made a move, that caused my heart to leap to my throat. Causing a cold shiver to run through me, stilling my heart for one agonizing moment. My blood ran cold and my eyes widening in abject fear and horror. He reached behind him and grabbed Susannah in an iron hold grip so fast, no-one was prepared for it. His arm came around her delicate neck, pulling her closer to him.

I looked to Susannah seeing her eyes wide with fright. Her breathing hitched and choking. Diego moved the tip of his blade to Susannah's throat, tracing the pale smooth skin there. Making my breathing halt with fear.

"Drop the knife," Diego said to me. "Or the girl dies."

I felt the blood rush out of my face, making my knees suddenly feel as if they were about to buckle. But I didn't hesitate. I immediately threw my knife aside, doing what he asked.

"Suze! Shift!" Paul suddenly screamed to Susannah.

I watched the confusion and terror cross her face, before realization hit. She was about to close her eyes and do whatever Paul had shouted for her to do, when Diego suddenly threw her aside. instantly lunging at me again. For a split second I thought she was going to go over the ledge, but she didn't. I heard the sound of glass breaking and then the sudden roar of a flame. Trying to battle Diego off of me.

The loft suddenly became lighter, with oranges and reds running across the straw, where before, it was just shadows and darkness. I couldn't break my eyes away from Diego. His arm was bearing down on me, his knife intent on plunging into my heart. I could feel the heat start to soar to new heights around us, making beads of sweat drop down my temples.

"Paul," Susannah shrieked, her voice raspy. "Help him! Help Jesse!"

Listening to the terror in Susannah's voice made me put one last burst of strength into my grip. With a growl, I twisted Diego's wrist painfully, making him cry out and drop his knife to the straw covered floor, and thus making him lose his grip on me. Taking his distraction to my advantage again, I reared my fist back and plunged it into his face. Putting all my power and strength behind that one hit.

It was enough to send his staggering form back and to lose his balance. He went over the ledge, landing on the hard floor with a sickening thump and the sounds of breaking bone. I didn't look down.

The horses started whining again and kicked at their stable doors, sensing the danger enfolding around them. Of the smoke that was slowly filling up the barn making my eyes sting and my throat choke. I could hear the loud shrills and shouts coming from outside the barn. But their words were muffled by the sound of cracking and spitting fire.

Breathing heavily, I turned around to see where Susannah and Paul were. But what I found made me heart come to standstill in my chest again. My fear for Susannah's safety having evaporated with the defeat of Diego. But now I was faced with a new threat to her. A wall of fire, separating her from me. And she didn't even seem aware of it.

"You did it," She cried, smiling at me. "You killed him!"

"Suze." Paul said, gazing at Susannah with so much fear and disbelief. His expression so hopeless, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. "Suze."

"He did it, Paul!" Susannah carried on laughing. "He's going to live!" She turned to me, seeing me panting and looking around frantically. "You're going to live!"

Finally finding what I was looking for, I looked to Susannah, seeing her expression falter when she saw the seriousness of my own. "Susannah," I shouted over the sounds of the fire. "Stay where you are."

Not noticing Susannah's sudden realization of the fire cutting her off from me, Paul and the ladder, I ran for the blanket Paul had used to cover himself up with earlier. I pulled it open, and wrapped it over my head and around my shoulders. Using it to protect me from the raging inferno engulfing much of the loft.

I took a few steps back, preparing to run. "Suze," Paul said, then seeming to notice what I had planned, quickly whipped his arm out in a futile attempt to stop me. "Jesse, no - "

And then I ran through the fire. Holding my breath, I leaped over the flames, feeling them licking at the heels of my shoes and trying to latch on to my pants. When I landed on the other side with Susannah, I knocked her to the ground with me before I quickly shook off the blanket starting to get eaten by the flames. Rapidly rising to my feet.

"Come on," I said as I helped Susannah to her feet. "We haven't much time."

"Suze!" Paul yelled from the other side of the flames. We couldn't see him though, the smoke was too thick and the flames were too high.

"Get down," I yelled back to him. My voice choking with the smoke, making my throat raw. "Get down and help them with the horses."

I turned away from the flames, looking toward the wooden walls. Backing up a little, I raised my foot and kicked at the planks of wood. Feeling a couple dislodge beneath my weight. "Suze!" Paul yelled again, seeming to ignore my other request. "Shift! Do it now! It's your only chance!"

I kicked harder at the wall, the urgency that was humming through me making me feel frantic. Cursing, I put all my weight into the assualt on the wall, feeling them close to breaking off.

"Suze," Paul carried on shouting. "Shift! I'm doing it, too. I'll meet you on the other side!"

With one last burst of power, I kicked the wooden planks again, making them shatter and fly off. I shoved a few more aside until there was enough room to fit us both through them. Feeling the instant rush of air on my hot skin.

Then I took Susannah's hand in my own. Pulling her over to me and the fresh cool air rushing through the opening. "We're going to have to jump," I said to Susannah, bending to look in her eyes. She had a vacant and dazed look on her face, leaving me unsure if she had heard me. She turned her head to feel the cool breeze licking her face and turned her eyes up to the beautiful sparkles in the night sky.

"Do you understand me, Susannah?" I asked, watching her eyes return to mine. "We'll jump together, on the count of three."

I reached out and slipped my arm around her waist, drawing her as close to me as I could. Wrapping my other arm around her shoulders. "_One . . ._ " I knew Susannah could feel my heart beating rapidly beneath my shirt. That only seemed to get worse as the perilous moment dragged on. "_Two . . ._ " I could feel the flames burning my legs and the side of my body. Making the heat unbearable. "_Three . . . "_

With one last look at the familiar and beautiful girl in my arms, her grip on my shirt just as strong as my hold on her, comfortable ensconced to me. I said one last pray and pulled Susannah tight. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes . . . and took the leap of faith with Susannah in my arms . . .

xXx

_**The Mission, Carmel, California - Present Day**_

Something was different. I didn't know what, and I didn't know how. But something felt . . . strange. Wrong even. I felt . . . different, somehow. Almost disconnected and afloat. Like I had no real hold on this world all of a sudden. I had come to the Basilica to find Paul Slater and stop him from going back in time to prevent my death. But he wasn't here. And it felt as if something had . . . shifted . . .

I couldn't hold on to my thoughts. My mind seemed fuzzy and distant. Sound and images almost coming from afar.

_What had happened?!_

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_**A/N 2:**_ I really like this one and I hope you did too. It was lotsa fun to do, if not tiring. Thanks for reading, please review. It makes sitting and writing chapters like this...SO worth it. **:D** Jesse's horse - Mateo - as far as I know, means God's Gift in Spanish. OMG! 18,388 words! Well for that, I think I'm going to watch _Practical Magic_, now. Because a good friend has gotten it in my head for the past couple of days now.

_**Anonymous Reviews:**_

_**Meg -**_Thanks so much for reviewing as always, dude! I warned ya it'd be long, lol. But I hope this is worth the wait and the expectation. Thanks again, take care, **x**

_**Coming Up In Chapter 5:**_Jesse shows up at the hospital, finding an extremely distressed Susannah and the last thing he ever expected to see...


	5. Chapter Five

_**Disclaimer:**_ Please see first chapter for disclaimer.

_**Rating**_**:** T

_**A/N:**_Well this turned out different to how I expected. Anyway,** thank you so much** for the fantastic reviews, y'all! I loved writing the previous chapter, so getting your reviews left me feeling all warm and fuzzy! It's the last chapter I'll give you a warning now, it's probably going to be long. **:D **

_**Recap: **_Jesse shows up at the hospital to find a very distraught Suze crying by the prone figure of none other than...himself.

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_**Chapter Five...**_

I was standing before the large stained glass window, the moon filtering light through the coloured glass, casting shapes and blurred colours to dance along the flawed marble floor; when it hit me. I staggered back, my empty footsteps not making a sound on the floor or the large empty space. It was almost as if I had taken a physical blow. As though someone had gripped my heart and squeezed and twisted it in their grasp, stealing the breath I didn't need from my lungs.

I could see and feel the edges of my vision blur and dim. Causing a sickening darkness to settle in its empty space. Like ink slithering and creeping before my eyes, creating dark black spots that no matter how many times I tried to blink and remove, they still invaded my vision. I could feel my arms and legs become heavy with an unseen force bearing down on me. I fought to stay in control, but it was as fruitless as trying to breathe. My thoughts were scrambled and scattered making it impossible to concentrate on anything but the unwanted pain.

I lost the fight with my legs as they buckled beneath me, making me drop to my knees on the marbled floor. My hands soon joining them as I bent forward trying to shrivel and escape the indescribable hurt, hitting me over again. I sucked in huge unnecessary breaths, trying to relieve the pressure, but all it succeeded in doing was making the pain pierce me deeper and longer. It was agonizing just to try. It was a worthless thought with torturous consequences to follow.

I could hear a muffled voice in my ear like someone was calling me, but I couldn't make out the words. All I knew was it sounded like Susannah, and try as I might, I couldn't reach out to her. I couldn't concentrate on the words trying to break through my pain induced fog and daze. I tried desperately to latch on to the knowledge that it was her voice, but I could feel my will slipping further and further with each passing moment I was being inflicted.

For reasons I didn't know.

I tried to stand. To move myself off of the floor, but it felt as though my arms and legs were held to the stone. A stone that should have been cool to the touch, helping to break through my pain. But it went un-felt. I was unmovable and unable to break free. It was taking so much energy I had left just to stop myself from collapsing completely. The thought that if I fell, I wouldn't get back up, made me strengthen my trembling arms minutely. Trying to ride out the waves of pain that didn't seem to abate, but only increase.

I tried to concentrate on convincing myself this pain wasn't possible for me to feel. That it must have been projected from my mind. But try as I did, the thoughts were like trying to catch leaves in the wind; dancing and flying just out of my reach. And I knew, without a doubt, that the pain being thrown upon me was one I had never felt before. Not whilst I was alive and certainly not while I had been dead. This much suffering I knew wasn't possible to be thrust upon a spirit. We didn't feel pain.

But that clinging thought did nothing to stop my distress now.

I gritted my teeth against the onslaught. Biting down on the scream of agony I wanted to burst forth from my throat. Clenching my jaw against the control slipping further and further. My arms shaking more and more. But still I held onto the whatever I could. Clawing at my mind to fight and not give up. To not release the cry sitting on the tip of my tongue, even if no-one could hear it, I would. I would know. And I refused to show that weakness to myself.

I knew something had changed. Something big. I could feel it in the air around me. It was set in the deepest darkest parts of my soul, as though I had been thrown into a nightmare, with complete loss of control, thought and action. It was as if fate was just waiting. Waiting for me to give in and surrender to whatever had changed and was re-written for me.

But I didn't want any of it.

I tried again and again to reach out to Susannah. Bringing the unseen force pressing down on my heart more and more each time. Pushing me closer to that edge and brink I could feel myself teetering on. I begged to reach her, to know she was safe, to feel her energy or presence resounding through my mind. But each time I was met with the same outcome. Nothing. Just echoing silences, making my cry become deeper and soul shattering. It was as if I was reaching out to someone that wasn't there. Who didn't exist?

Or maybe, my mind supplied for me. It was me that no longer existed in this world.

I had come here for a reason; I couldn't forget that, no matter how much it tried to creep away from me. I had come to the basilica to find Paul Slater. To stop him from returning to the past to save me. When I had arrived, he wasn't here. So what if he really had succeeded in doing what he set out to do. What if he really did manage to save my life, and he's changed this time line. And the pain I was feeling was the transition I was fighting from happening.

But I ignored the jumbled thought almost instantly. I knew if he really had managed to save me, it wouldn't have mattered how much strength and will I fought to hold on to; I would have been ripped away mercilessly anyway. The pain was too deep. Too emotional for it to have been anything else.

But still I couldn't deny something was different, shifted somehow. The feelings of disconnection that made me feel afloat and without any conscious hold on this world that accompanied my suffering only honed in this belief. Leaving me feeling frustrated and confused even more. Other sentiments to add to the scattered mess that was my mind and soul.

I wanted to leave here. To track down Slater and find out just what it was he had done. How much damage he has caused to this time, my love and my heart. To make him see the pain and grief I was feeling. Unable to find a reason or a truth to it. I wanted him to see the agony I was being torn apart with. But I knew I couldn't. My arms and body were paralyzed and refusing to obey my simple commands.

It all felt wrong. I felt as though I was being pulled in two different directions. When the only person I really wanted to see was Susannah. I wanted her with me, to ease the punishment. I wanted to feel her love flowing through me, untapped and all mine to take and hold. I wanted her to anchor me to the here and now. So I didn't feel as though I was slowly being pulled away. Ripped from her again. Only I knew, this time, there would be no coming back. But most of all; I wanted to see her face. To see her eyes shining our love, so I could convince myself.

To make myself believe with everything I knew and held; that the pain, torture and agony I felt wasn't because my heart was breaking.

It felt as though time had come to a standstill in the world and space. Or maybe, only around me. I didn't know. I couldn't make sense of anything anymore. I was getting weaker and weaker. People could have been walking straight through me and I would neither notice, nor care. I felt as though I was in my own bubble of pain. Time could have passed dramatically on the outside. Or it could have glided past within seconds or minutes, I didn't know.

My entire mind would supply with me with, were images of a long forgotten life that I couldn't make sense of. Memories of an encounter I don't remember living or feeling. All blurred into one dream or nightmare after another. All causing the disconnection to increase and envelope me. Like a murky haze had settled all around me, holding me firm in its grasp.

Just as I could feel my arms about to give up the fight I tried so hard to hold on to, the pain receded. Gone almost as quickly as it had come to me. I caught myself just before I hit the marble floor, overcome with the quiet numbing to just as suddenly fill the hollow ache that had been left behind. Tendrils of ice cold dread crept across my head and down my spine, leaving me shivering and shaking. My breathing was frantic and husky in the silence all around me. The sound slowly filtering in through the fog covering my ears. My vision slowly cleared, leaving my eyes hurting from the sudden brightness around me. My jaw ached from the pressure applied on it to stop myself crying out.

The numbing cold that had crawled into my heart was in so many ways worse than the pain to have hit me so hard only moments before. It left doubt, anguish, dread and grief in its wake. Making my fear intensify and build in my chest. My heart ached with the deluge that it had just been through, my mind still misty and unreachable. The answers I so desperately sought were nowhere to be found or spoken.

I felt tired and dejected. My body weary and tense as I slowly pulled myself to my unsteady feet. My knees feeling as though they were to crumble again, from the sudden weight issued on them. My felt as though it was giving in. Surrendering to the fight, ignoring my pleas to co-operate. But still I held on to the hope to see Susannah. To go where I belonged, before the urgency building in me was extinguished.

And with it, my last chance.

I looked up at the shimmer of light coming through the side windows, casting light down onto the flawed floor, creating the illusion of a fine mist swirling along for all to be swept in. I turned away from the illusion and the windows. I knew I needed to leave here. The memory of all I had just been through was still fresh, leaving behind small traces of phantom pain. I couldn't stand in this haven of sanctuary. But the only place I wanted to be was the same place I knew she wasn't.

Instead I took myself to my grave. Not disrupting the fog that always swept in from the ocean as I appeared. It clung to the dew of the grass and whispered around the graves and the peace. They were taunting, chiding and laughing. I ignored them all; only focusing on the marker before me that bared my name for all to see. Again and again I tried to reach out to Susannah. Pleading and praying I would find her. That the silence and echo to rebound back to me, gave me some clue. A whisper even, something to help me before I was too late.

But each time, I was granted with nothing.

I closed my eyes against the curse and the scream wanting to escape my throat. A cry of grievous pain, begging and frustration. The sensation that my time was becoming shorter and shorter did nothing to quell the emotions I wanted to feel, but couldn't break through the numbing abyss it held me in. I balled my fists at my side, praying someone would answer my cry. To be granted this one wish.

When I opened them again, I wasn't alone.

Standing beside me, his own pain riddling his face and making him seem older than his years was Peter Simon - Susannah's father. The affliction and suffering him himself was feeling, was something I couldn't even begin to try and understand. My own being too great to try and find any concern for his own. I looked away from his hard stare, swallowing the rising lump of panic and fear, thick in my throat.

"Susannah needs you, Jesse," His voice broke the silence between us. Not even disrupting the mist surrounding my grave and my dejected form. His words hitting a truth I already knew. "You've got to go to her."

"I've tried," I quickly replied. My own voice sounded raw and thick with suppressed pain and emotion. But Peter standing here, his eyes imploring my own, instilled some hope and light in the grey mist of my mind and body. The sudden knowledge that I needed someone to help didn't go unnoticed by me. "I can't feel her." I looked up into his eyes, desperately seeking and asking for his help. Begging to stop the numbing grief and help me save myself and Susannah.

"Try harder," His tone was like steel. Low and quiet, breaking through me more. "Before you run out of time. She's calling me, but she needs _you_, Jesse." He paused taking a step closer to me to lay a fatherly hand upon my shoulder, his gesture alone helping to clear my mind further.

But he was also close enough to let me be able to see the reason for his suffering. To witness the cause of his hurting and his own grief. I saw his pain, that it was a reflection of Susannah's own. A parents own grief and distress of not being able to help their child. He was carrying Susannah's hurt upon himself. Because he couldn't do anymore than that to help her. He couldn't do anymore than what he was already feeling.

_I_ was the only one who could do something, for Susannah and me.

It was this knowledge and his will and words that broke through my fear and ice. That re-ignited my deepest stubbornness and determination, to not give up. To believe in the faith, trust and love that bonded Susannah and me together. It brought back the strength and courage Susannah had inspired in me, bringing along my anger with myself and my guilt for Susannah. For not being there for her when she needed me the most. For letting my own grief over take me.

Peter saw the new direction and light in my eyes. Witnessed the renewed hold I gave to myself. He shared my determination and will.

"Don't fight the pain," He told me, his hand squeezing my shoulder in comfort. "Follow it." With a brisk nod of understanding to him, my eyes saying all I couldn't say. Of my gratitude and his insistence, I closed my eyes, shutting out everything around me.

I gathered everything I had; pushing it into that one connection I wanted to feel. That rippled across my consciousness of Susannah. I did what Peter told me to do. I opened myself up to the pain that was overwhelming and breathtaking. But instead of succumbing to it again, I turned it around, throwing my own will, trust and love in to the feelings. Determined to find the girl I love, if it's the last thing I do.

I brought it all together and threw it out there, making me senses search further and deeper than they had ever gone before. Calling and whispering to the heavens and the fates. Until finally I was there.

But I never anticipated what I found.

The first thing I was aware of when I arrived at my destination was the sounds of Susannah's distraught crying. The wracking power of her sobs tore through me. The sheer grief coming off of her in waves made me reluctant to open my eyes. But pushing it aside and taking firm control of my emotions this time, I opened them. Coming face to face with the crumpled form of Susannah before me, sitting beside a hospital bed . . . that had my prone form lying upon it.

"Susannah." I murmured, surprised at the voice coming from my mouth having not even realized I had spoken.

For a moment, my vision wavered and I swayed on my feet where I stood. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my sight and believing my eyes to be deceiving me. I could still feel Susannah's heartbreaking beside me, but I was unable to tear my eyes from the body before me. I had tubes and wires attached to me, leading out to various pieces of equipment, I assumed were monitoring me. The numb feelings to have taken me over earlier were creeping back into me again.

Only I was too shocked to try and fight it.

"Susannah." I spoke again. My voice sounded distant, even to me.

My chest was barely rising and falling and my skin was pale and distressing. Susannah's cries continued to echo around me, pulling my gaze away from my body at last, to look down at her hunched shoulders shaking so violently with her sobs. Gently I laid a hand out on her shoulder, alerting her to my presence. Unable to keep my gaze away from . . . me, I turned back to the bed.

"Go away," Susannah snapped at me, lifting her tear streaked face to my own. "Can't you see I'm - " Susannah broke off, realizing that I was standing before her. She jumped so quickly, my hand dropped from her shaking shoulder and her plastic chair she was sitting on teetered backwards before falling to the floor with a clatter. "J - Jesse?"

She lifted her shaking hands to her face, swiping away the errant tears that still escaped her eyes. Her voice sounded from afar, seeming to take forever to reach me. The implications of what I was seeing couldn't seem to break through my mind. I had been in the basilica, feeling torn and ripped apart, having a sickly sensation of disconnection to the world around me, seemingly with no reason what so ever. I had felt the shift and the change. I had choked on the heartbreak that Susannah was evidently feeling also. I had thought I was safe. That Slater hadn't succeeded in saving me.

But now I knew why I felt something different. Somehow, my body had been brought back here. To this time, leaving the past hundred and fifty years, to have been almost . . . unwritten. I neither lived, nor died.

"Susannah," I whispered to the quiet. "What . . . what did you do?"

Suddenly choking back a laugh, Susannah reached out and took one of my hands, looking up at me with excitement and happiness. Relief quivering in her voice. "Jesse, I went. Back through time, I mean," She babbled, her words slurring and jumbled together. But I understood them all the same.

Tearing my gaze from myself, I looked down into her eyes, fury overtaking me momentarily. But not with Susannah, with myself. All the anger was directed at me. For not being here quick enough. For going after Paul Slater, sure that I was doing the right thing. I was furious for the constant problems to arise with Susannah and myself. For the fates seeming to be against us, throwing everything they possible could at us.

"You _went_?" I glared at her, seeing the unfazed look in her eyes at my outburst. If anything, her smile grew larger. "You went after Slater? After I told you I could take care of myself?"

Susannah burst out with a small giggle of laughter, her eyes dancing with so many emotions; I was having trouble keeping up with them. "You did take care of yourself," She assured me. "I - I told you - the past you - about Diego, and he didn't kill you, Jesse. You killed him. But then . . . then . . . there was a fire." Susannah paused, swallowing, her eyes now devoid of laughter and happiness as her voice dropped to a near whisper. "In the barn. The O'Neil's barn . . ."

"The O'Neils," I murmured, narrowing my eyes in concentration. The name bringing forth the memories of so long ago, that seemed to pull back the more I tried to see them. "I remember them."

"Yes," Susannah quietly continued. "There was a fire, and Jesse . . . Jesse, you saved me. Or, at least, you tried to. But . . . but . . ." Susannah's voice trailed off, finding it hard to find the words she needed.

I dropped her hand and walked over to the bed, looking down at the person who had, a century and a half ago, had his life taken away from him. Only, now that was wrong. Because according to Susannah, Felix Diego never killed him. It was the other way around. But yet, here he is, lying on a hospital bed, in the present. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't get my mind around any of what Susannah had just said.

Of what this meant.

By all rights, _my_ past that I remember didn't happen. A new one had been written. So where did that leave me, now. How did that alter the time line, if Diego is dead in my place? Of the lives that would never have been given. Diego and Maria never got married, never had children. My own family, still once again clueless as to my disappearance. Not turning up at the wedding, and not returning home.

Because I was here, lying before me.

I shook my head, trying to chase away the thoughts running through my mind, trying to make sense of what happens now. "I don't understand," I said. "How did this happen?"

Susannah bit her lip as a fresh new wave of tears entered her eyes. "I did it," She blurted suddenly. "I didn't mean to. I meant to save you, Jesse, not . . . not this. But I was still touching you when I shifted back to the future, and you . . . you just got caught."

I looked up at Susannah and really saw her then. Letting the words she had just said, really sink in. Where my mind was scattered and confused before, now stood with complete bewilderment and awe. I saw her eyes red and bloodshot from crying so much. Her pale complexion, even whiter than normal. Her hair was in disarray as if she had been running her hands through it a lot. She had dark circles under her eyes and her being screamed of exhaustion. She continuously wrung her shaking hands together before her, unable to keep them still.

And then I looked deeper. Below the surface and into the eyes of the girl, who had just risked a lifetime of heartache and pain, of living the rest of her life, wondering and grieving for a love she would never have met, just so she could give me the life she believed I deserved.

I saw her grief and the pain of her heartbreaking, shining through her tears. Of the emotions building and rising to the surface faster than she could keep down. I could see the love she held for me, a burning beacon in a cloud of darkness. I saw it all and I felt it myself. The fear of knowing there was nothing I could do. There was a grief lingering in us both that told of a conclusion soon to come.

But I kept the truth of what Susannah had just risked and sacrificed clear in my mind. Of the gift she wanted to bestow upon me. Because she loved me too much, to not have tried.

"You really went back?" I asked as I stared at her. "To the past? To my past?" But all Susannah could do was nod, words failing her. "And Paul? I went to the basilica to look for him, but he was gone. You followed him?" Again Susannah nodded to me in confirmation, before her careful resolve broke and shattered before me.

"I wanted to stop him," She said, her voice trembling. "From . . . from keeping you from dying. But in the end . . . I couldn't, Jesse. It wasn't right. What Diego did to you. I couldn't let it happen again. So I told you. And you killed him. You killed Diego. But then there was the fire and . . ." Breaking off, Susannah looked down at my prone, dying form. Unable to stop the sobs rising from her throat. "And now I think this is good-bye. I'm sorry, Jesse. I'm so, so sorry."

Feeling my own tears rising to my throat at the heartbreaking display before me, I reached across and laid a hand on Susannah wet cheek, softly caressing it with my thumb. Wishing I could wipe away her pain and heartache as easily as being able to wipe away her tears.

"_Querida,"_ I softly whispered, my own pain tainting my voice.

I didn't know what to say, or what to do. I didn't know how to help her or how to stop it. I didn't know if this was the end, or just the beginning. I tried to cling on to the hope. The hope I could feel, slowly dwindling with each second passing against us.

But I knew I what I needed. I needed to feel her warmth rush through me one last time. To have the memory of the first time I felt it burning my memory. Of the day and moment Susannah changed my life, in more ways than she could imagine. I needed that familiar tingle of energy and love that made my hair stand on end and my fingers twitch to feel more. I needed the essence and comfort of Susannah to infuse me. I wanted to feel our connection one last time, to hold and never let go.

I placed my hand on the bed before me, using it for balance as I reached across to Susannah, drawing her in for what I believed to be, one last kiss. I let my eyes close as my lips came within a hairs breath of Susannah's soft full ones. Eager and desperate to feel her again. To be swept away in her touch. Just as I felt her warm breath brush across my lips, ready to be claimed with my own, my hand slipped and touch the leg of my body lying prone on the bed between us.

With a gasp of ice cold shock impaling every nerve and fibre and hair of my body, I pulled away from Susannah, feeling a sudden burst of energy hum through me. It made my whole body tingle and spark. Creating a thousand sensations and thoughts running through my mind and body before I had time to understand them. I looked up at Susannah, my gaze burning and intense on her own. The spectral aura I gave off shined brighter for a second, before I felt a pull.

Just as I looked up to see Susannah reach out for me and before I had a chance to think, I was taken away from her and this life. . .

xXx

_'Beep'_

_'Beep'_

_'Beep'_

I was pulled from the darkness I had been floating in by an incessant sound making my head hurt. Swiftly followed by pain, erupting out all over my body, I patiently waited for to pass, knowing it never lasts, and it was just a projection of my mind.

But after becoming more and more aware, I realized the pain wasn't dulling, it was becoming worse. An entirely different affliction to how I was feeling in the basilica. This pain brought forth the memory of when I fell off of Mateo. When he bucked, frightened by a dog. The aching that came when my body was jarred from impacting the ground so hard was much like this. As if every bone in my body was bruised and sore.

It made me want to crawl back to the darkness and to come back when the pain had gone. My head hurt and my chest felt tight. My breathing was slow and deep, as if I had just woken from a long deep sleep.

And then it occurred to me.

I don't _have_ breathes. I don't _need_ sleep. The pain that reminded me of my accident happened when I was _alive._

And as soon as that thought came, so did the barrage of memories waiting on the outskirts of my mind, until it was time for them to appear. Invading my thoughts and making me see all of the life I had just left behind. I watched them all play out, moments in time that were so real, but tinted. As though I was seeing them through another's eyes. The first memory hit me with remembrance as if it had only just happened.

The way she spun back to me once her mother had gone. Addressing me in a sharp and demanding tone. The surprise to have been spoken to like that - or at all - lingered with the moment replaying in my mind. Of the conversation we carried out, albeit reluctantly on her part. Snippets of conversation floating through to me, from so long ago.

_"Susannah," _She had instantly corrected me when I had guessed her name wrong._ "As in, 'Don't cry for me.'"_

The sudden shock to have taken over me when she had grabbed my finger, had left me stunned and without speech. It had been so long since anyone had spoken to me. But Susannah had done more than talk with me, she had made me feel a whole slew of emotions, I hadn't thought possible. She had awoken a long buried warmth and connection with another person.

I hadn't thought I could have been anymore shocked that day, than was possible.

But I had been wrong. Susannah had surprised me more than I realized she could from that day on. Watching her fight the forces of evil in a girl so full of rage, it was unfathomable.

"_Get up!"_ I had shouted at her when Heather was hell bent on killing her. _"I thought you were supposed to be good at this!"_

That had just been one of many moments that I stepped in and saved Susannah's life. Going against all her wishes and her independence to help her, standing by her side battle after battle. When the spirits and situations she encountered became worse and more perilous, I became more protective. And unknowingly, I fell harder.

I helped her escape when Marcus Beaumont tried to kill her. I fought by her side when the RLS Angels became murderous with rage. I hoped and prayed they would leave Susannah alone. I took the beatings to come down upon me by them and by myself. Nothing compared to my own inner anguish and guilt I felt for letting Susannah walk into that danger.

I flashed through memories and moments, coming face to face with the one moment I had believed I was never to see Susannah again. When I had been exorcised and banished from this world and Susannah. Making my heartbreak when believing it was Susannah to have done such a thing. A foolish thought, I realize now.

I could see myself, standing in the fog enshrouded hallway, doors lining behind me and Susannah standing before me with her own spectral glow. The sacrifice she had gone to, to bring me home. To take me away from the heaven's waiting room and taking me back to Earth where I belonged with her. The fear I had felt at not getting Susannah back in time, left a bitter taste in my mouth even now.

But I had also learnt that night, that my love for Susannah was reciprocated.

"_Fine,_" I had said, moments before I had given into my temptation and overwhelming love to kiss her. And thus expressing all I felt in that one touch with her feelings shining through to me_. "We don't have to talk."_

The heartache I had caused us both to feel after left me with guilt and sorrow. My belief that I couldn't give Susannah what she deserved and dreamt for. That was overwhelming and incredible as my devotion to her was that it wouldn't be enough. I couldn't go to dinner with her family; I couldn't marry her, or give her a family of her own. I believed I would have only held her back from what she needed.

Until Susannah had told me otherwise._"I don't care about any of that. That kiss . . . that kiss was the best thing that ever happened to me." _

And with that confession, Susannah had made me the happiest I had ever been. I had openly told her how much I loved her that day, and many times after it. Whether it was in a touch, kiss or look; I always made sure Susannah knew how much I cared about her. I saw the memories of the past few weeks, flying past my mind, some too fast to comprehend, others sticking and never shaking loose.

But it was the latest memory that took me by surprise. The memory of feeling as though my heart was breaking, with the indescribable pain being unleashed to me, made the aches and hurt I felt now, seem insurmountable. Of standing before Susannah with my body between us. Believing it to be our last kiss and our final goodbye, no matter how much I tried not to believe it.

But I knew now, I had no need for it anymore. I gladly took the aches humming through my body, making my breath hitch with how uncomfortable it was. The pain throbbing in my head with the light surrounding me, making it worse. Because it all came down to one thing. One realization that threatened to knock the breath right out of my again. The one thing, I couldn't wait to say . . .

I can _feel pain_. I can _feel_ the hot fever overtaking my body. I can _feel_ the soft palm of Susannah's hand holding my own. And I would gladly take the pain over and over again.

Because I'm _alive_ . . .

I could hear the soft voices whispering to each other beside my bed. The soft smooth tone of Susannah swept over me, easing some of the discomfort and fighting away the tiredness trying to drag me back down into unconsciousness. I didn't want to sleep yet. I didn't want to go back into the dream land of reliving my memories. I wanted to see her first. I wanted to see her gentle emerald gaze locked on mine.

Gripping the hand that held mine as tight as I could, I lifted my other hand to my face, intent on removing the mask covering my nose and mouth. Shakily moving it aside, I heard someone take a breath in anticipation, feeling my own breaths become stronger with each second that passed. I let my eyes flutter open, ignoring the wince of pain at the sudden bright light around me.

I turned my head slightly, seeing two figures standing by my side. I blinked a couple of times to rid myself of the blurry vision and focused on the one person closest to me. I let my face break out into the smallest smile, but it was there none the less. And she saw it, like she always will. I looked upon Susannah with love and tenderness. Falling into her shimmering eyes holding her own emotions.

Looking up at the girl I love, I said the only thing I could, invoking as much affection into my raspy, dry voice as possible. And judging by the happy laugh and smile to break out on her face, Susannah heard it.

_"Querida,"_

* * *

_**A/N 2: **_Really not impressed with myself on this one. Who knew how difficult it would be to write someone coming back to life? Seriously, it's actually really hard. I gave myself a headache just trying to work out how what bringing Jesse's body and killing Diego had done to the time line. Phew, all this time travel business is exhausting.

But I am sorry about this. It's a lot harder than it seems. **:(** The next one I am going to try and make perfect. Thanks for reading though, please review. See you at the last one!

_**Anonymous Reviews:**_

_**Meg - **_Hey! Wow, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it; I definitely had fun with it, lol. So worth the time that was.** :)** Thanks for reviewing, dude! For the previous chapter and for sticking with the series! It's been a blast! See you at the last chapter!** :D**

_**Coming up in the sixth and final chapter of 'The Shock Of A Lifetime' series: **_It's the winter formal. **:D**


	6. Chapter Six

_**Disclaimer:**_ Please see first chapter for disclaimer.

_**Rating:**_ T

_**A/N: **_I don't think I could ever say how much I appreciate the support, encouragement and enthusiasm I received for this series. I have loved reading all your feedback. I never expected it to be so well liked, or for it to even become what it is today. But without all your reviews and hits, I don't think it would have come so far, or helped me so much.

All I can do, is say a massive thank you and dedicate this to you all. I hope it's worth it **:) **And huggles to everyone. Especially to the people who know who they are. **:)**

_**Thank You**_ so much to:_** GeekdomBeckons-88, Moonlight Silhouette, ekmemerald, Satellite Falling, LossOfSurroundings, Hot n' Exotic, Meg, Chaika2000, Hikari Reizumi, literatefanatic27, yamihoole, ChestnutBrumby, PiescesHateScorpios, hp-dude-4life, jennygirl555, Marien Volturi, Lucy, Gamegirl24, Chaika2000, Josephus of the Furlings, Kayhuahua, Trisha, Jessica, grr., literayrose, 9, xxbabyxox, Rhina, egotisticallychallengedpenguin, writingismylife1, Impulsive-Rose, ., twilightlover2theextreme, rezmutt, No Name Found, SB, smgirl, spunkygirl517, Jazzy, I want to be Jesse's girl, twilightrox2201.**_

And to all the people who read, alerted, faved one or all of this series and myself - _**Thank You!**_ **:)** I hope you enjoy this last chapter...

_**Recap: **_Jesse takes Suze to the Winter Formal. Ending in a perfect night for both of them...

* * *

_**Chapter Six...**_

I spent the next day and a half, confined to a hospital bed with the doctors and nurses fussing around me. Taking tests, drawing blood, anything they needed. I'm sure I was supposed to be fed up and frustrated with being poked and prodded. Not to mention the weird looks I was getting off of them as they went about their duties with me.

But I found I didn't care. I didn't think I really had the right to. So I happily put up with their questions and their tests over the time that I was in the hospital. Because it always honed in the fact, something I was still having trouble getting my mind around.

That I was alive.

I was used to the looks of speculation and disbelief I was receiving. Their wonder of how I had come back from the brink of death. If only they knew. But all I could do was look back with a smile, I found increasingly hard to banish those first couple of days. And I found I didn't want to either. It was all so new to me. A million sensations and feelings coursing through me again, so long forgotten, I didn't know how to process them.

But still I couldn't complain. Because the wonder and disbelief I was still feeling at discovering I could once again live, was a constant humming through me. I found myself staring in the washroom mirror more times than I could count. Looking back at a face that is so familiar but new. I had a reflection before. But that seemed dull and dim compared to how I saw myself now, as I would let my eyes trace all over my features.

Seeing the dog bite scar through my eyebrow that Susannah always liked to trace with her finger. My dark black eyes were looking back with the same amount of happiness and overwhelming wonder. My same dark hair, thick and wavy. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I found myself expecting there to be something different about me. But I couldn't seem to be able to get a grasp on it.

My voice even seemed different to me. Just like everything around me. I happily made conversation with anyone who was attending to me. Enjoying actually being able to. Asking question after question of the equipment and tests they were performing. Asking why they needed them, how they worked, what they would show. I was so full of enthusiasm; it took a while for it to be subdued.

Susannah spent the majority of the day with me, the Sunday I woke to a whole new life. She never strayed too far from my bedside and I found I couldn't let go of her hand when she was near. The thought that this could still be a dream and I would wake soon, aching and lonely for what I thought I couldn't have. Having Susannah's warm hand in mine - or her held close to me - helped to banish away the last lingering fear that this was just a cruel joke.

She in turn couldn't stop smiling and looking into my eyes. A pleasant and humbling distraction I found too. She kept shaking her head and claiming she couldn't believe it. That she was having trouble getting used to being able to feel the pulse in my palm, or the deep and steady breathing filling our silence. Voicing and sharing my own thoughts and sentiments, like she so often does. I often caught myself lifting my hand to see the dark tanned flesh. Expecting my eyes to adjust and see the familiar aura and glow I used to give off.

I laughed each time I realized what I was doing.

But when I was alone, I would lift my hand to my heart, feeling and amazing in the strong, slow and steady thump I could feel against my palm. Often sitting there for minutes, counting the steady beat. My smile growing with power each time.

Food was a delicacy I found hard to adjust to. Having not had to worry about eating for a century and a half, I found myself ravenous with hunger when I would wake from the exhaustion my body was constantly assaulting me with. Susannah and Father Dominic brought in food that was more delectable than the bland tasting cuisine the hospital tried to feed me.

I had to take my time, enjoying as much as my stomach would let me eat. This unfortunately, wasn't too much. I could only eat small morsels at a time. My body craving more, but my mind telling a different opinion. I knew it would take some time for them both to become in sync again. Patience I could happily wait for.

Susannah unfortunately wasn't there with me when I was able to leave the hospital due to having to go back to school the next day, with much grumbling and muttering. I knew she wanted to stay longer and be with me as much as possible. I too wanted that, but we had all the time we wanted together now. And I told her as much.

I received a kiss that I felt down deep to my soul in reward. Father Dominic asked why I was so happy when he came in after. I had no intelligent answer for him though. I was still reeling from the sparks flashing before my eyes and in my mind, to have even tried. But he did keep me company as much as it was permitted.

In the time that I had been asleep - my body tired and worn - Susannah and Father Dominic had come up with many questions and solutions as to what was to happen now. The problems being of where I was to live. What I was to do about money. Education, work. But thankfully, fate seemed to have been on my side, and Father Dominic was busy for the duration of my stay, helping me to solve such problems. Going so far as to ease my mind and settle any concerns I had, with what now.

So by the time I was allowed to leave the hospital, the day after I had been admitted - near death and comatose - the doctors had released me. Finding no explanation or theories for the sudden turnabout I had done. Of the sudden and miraculous health improvement that had only been improving quicker and quicker over my short stay. They had shook my hand and wished me luck.

Something I gladly took, but didn't believe I would need.

I was alive again. I didn't think I could get any luckier than that. With Susannah and Father Dominic to help me, I felt the luckiest man in the world. I prayed and graciously thanked the fates for seeing fit to have given me such a wish and a dream. I had no words to express how thankful I was for all that had been granted on me. Of the new life bestowed and the love I couldn't live without.

So it was with light steps and a smile that could outshine the sun, that I walked free of the hospital that day. Stepping out into the world I could be amongst and relish in. No longer having to stand on the edge, watching and wishing I was with them. Taking part in the world and being given the choice to make a difference. To myself, no longer having to be happy with all I had.

I felt as if I was the given all that some could only dream for.

My enthusiasm seemed to have been infectious, judging from the smile on Father Dominic's face that day. Leading me to my new home, new chance and a new life.

When it had become abundantly clear we didn't have much time to find me a home, Father Dominic had taken it upon himself to do just that. And his hard work and persistence had paid off. In only a short time and lot of luck, he had found me a home of my own. Somewhere that wasn't lavish or large. But was mine for the time being. A place to call my own. I didn't care how little or big it was, I was just glad to be out of the hospital and able to get to grips with my new life.

So much was different from when I had been alive before. So much had changed and evolved. And I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to be out there, joining in and looking forward. I knew it would take time to learn the new ways. To blend in and take stock of everything. But like everything else to come my way, I happily did so.

When we had arrived at my new apartment, Father Dominic showed me around, telling me what was what and how to use certain things. I humored him and walked around behind him, a small smile on my face as he informed me. I hadn't been sitting around doing nothing for the past century and a half. I already knew most - if not all - he had told me.

Unfortunately Father Dominic - quick man that he is - caught on and just gave me an amused and embarrassed smile in return. We didn't stay in my new home long though. The next problem we had to take care of was clothes. I had received some peculiar looks as I had passed people in the hospital and on the way up to my new apartment. Dressed in 19th century attire, apparently wasn't the norm around here. So purchasing some new clothes - thankfully - would alleviate me of the un-comfortableness I felt, walking around and standing out so much.

Going to the local 'mall' was an experience in itself. I could understand why Susannah disliked it so much. The hustle and bustle and energy flying around was overwhelming and distracting. New sights, new sounds, new smells. All assaulted me as soon as I entered the large area. Father Dominic smirked at my look crossing between awe and bewilderment. Thankfully, I was too distracted by my new surroundings to take notice of the strange looks I was receiving as I passed people.

Father Dominic had led me to a men's clothing store and had strolled straight in. Leaving me standing at the door looking perplexed and only a tiny bit terrified. I had no idea what to look for, what to find. But again, Father Dominic noticed my discomfort with the unfamiliar situation and surroundings and soon helped me.

I made a silent pact to make sure I paid Father Dominic back in kind one day. To replace the money for the apartment, the clothes the food. Everything he had had to pay for me. But never had I been so grateful to have Father Dominic in my life, as I was the days that followed my recovery.

It was a long while after, that we finally left the mall and the frantic energy behind. I gladly did so, feeling the first stirrings of exhaustion and fatigue pulling me down after an eventful day. But there was only one stop left before I could leave and go home.

Shopping.

I needed to stock the cupboards and the refrigerator. Although right then, I didn't want to be anywhere but asleep. But knowing I had no other choice, and the knowledge that Father Dominic needed to return back to school the next day - after already using the day we had as an emergency holiday - I put my exhaustion aside and continued on with Father Dominic.

That alone, was another experience in itself. There was so much choice; I didn't know what to choose. But with a little prodding and poking, Father Dominic soon had a cart full of products, which would keep me going for a while. I was exciting but tremulous at all the new situations I had to learn now. I couldn't help but hope I would settle into them easily though.

By the time we had arrived back at the apartment with my new clothes and shopping, I was more than ready to let my body have the rest it so sorely cried for. I thanked Father Dominic profusely, for his time, his loyalty, his money and his friendship. And much to my surprise, he pulled me into a hug, words apparently robbed of him as his eyes glistened with tears.

It wasn't until the next day that I saw Susannah again. My exhaustion and tiredness was so great, I found myself sleeping right through the evening and into the next day. My body was screaming for rest, the past few days catching up to me. Apparently the act of one's body, nearly dying and having your soul pulled back into its vessel, left a mind and body drained and weary. But I was eagerly ready to face the world again, and to have Susannah by my side every step of the way.

I had met her at school at the end of the day, watching as she enthusiastically made her way over to me. The biggest brightest smile I had ever seen on her face. I swung her into my arms, feeling they had been devoid and empty without her long enough. She took in my new appearance, a small smile of disbelief in her eyes and on her beautiful face. I couldn't help but respond much the same.

It felt strange, dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt. I chose the clothes I liked the best and felt the most comfortable in. It would take getting used to, wearing something _other_ than what I had been the past hundred and fifty years. But like everything else, it was something I was happy to discover and learn.

We walked down to a place called the 'Coffee Clutch'. Somewhere Susannah said she visited often with her friends, CeeCee and Adam. I had been looking forward to being able to meet them properly too. Finally being able to take part in their conversation, rather than sitting by and listening. Only being able to have Susannah aware of my presence with them.

I knew what I was missing when I was a ghost. I knew of the sacrifices I had been placing on Susannah in order for us to be together. Of the normalcy she was deprived. And as guilty as I had felt in order for her to not have that. There was a selfish part that didn't want to let her go. And I had clung onto the hope that one day; it would turn out right for us both. I had just never expected it to be this way, or to have my prayers answered.

But I planned on enjoying moments like this, and using them to the fullest, for as long as I could. And so, for the first time, I took great joy in being the one who was able to buy Susannah whatever she wanted.

Slater's words threatened to echo around my mind, but they held no weight now. His words he had thrown at me that night, of the little and big moments I couldn't take part in with Susannah. The memory of his words could fly through my thoughts as much as they wanted. I refused to listen to them. Because they were meaningless to me now.

I could take part in these moments. Create these small memories, gazing at my love across the table, sitting in a room full of strangers. I could hold her hand between us and let her tell me all about her day at school. Because it didn't look as if she was talking to nothing. As though she were having a conversation with thin air. I could meet her family and _take_ her to the dance that weekend. An event that would be flooded with people she went to school with. Where we could dance and laugh and ignore everyone else if we wanted and only have each other.

But most of all, I could finally give her all that she deserves, dreams and wishes for. Sentiments I had only ever wanted for Susannah. But even better, was that I could share them with her now.

It was that thought alone that made me raise her hand clasped in my own and kiss her fingers. Happiness and love shining through my eyes and all for _mi_ _querida,_ sitting before me. It was enough to make tears spring to her eyes.

Susannah and I had spent as much time as we could together those first few days. At least as much as her mother and step-father would allow her. We would either spend our time in my new home, talking about the future and how we were going to pave our way for it. Or going for walks and enjoying our time together. It wasn't the same as lying on her roof and watching the stars.

But in a lot of ways, it was so much better.

Getting used to living alone had been a little harder than I had first believed it to be. I was so deeply grateful and thankful to have been given this opportunity, I didn't wish for any of it to have been taken away. It even gave me a whole new view on how I saw the world around me. How different and sometimes difficult it could be.

But sometimes, in the still of the night, memories and images would come to mind. Dreams that pulled me in so deep and far, I would wake gasping and sweating. The faint traces of emotions that would linger around me until the sun had risen made me wonder if they would ever disperse. If the dreams or nightmares would ever retreat.

But it was always the single thought that would rise unbidden to my mind, which put me at ease and helped me to cope. That it had only been a week since everything had changed so drastically and fast. I just needed time. Something I thought I would always have plentiful of, but was willing to accept anyway. My mind and body were still learning. I had been through something no-one could ever think to compare their experiences too.

I knew with patience and Susannah there to help me, I would pass this phase and be able to fully enjoy my new life again. It was just the backlash and consequences, which came with coming back from the half-life I had been living in for so long. Of the rut and routine, I had been thrown from.

It would be mornings like that, when I would wake before the sun had risen and sleep would evade me that I would find myself at the beach. Losing myself in a past time so familiar and comforting, I didn't ever wish to lose it. I would watch the sun rise over the horizon. Watching it through new eyes and sensations. It's burning strength and intensity clearing away the fog that clung to the world and me around it. The waves beating on the sand before me, the cold breeze whispering over my skin, making it tingle and shiver. I would take my shoes off and roll my pant legs up, boldly walking forth to the water and letting it freeze my feet in the sand.

But I didn't care that the water was so cold, that it stung and left my feet red and freezing to the touch. Because they were all signs that I was alive. All proof that I really could feel it. That the fog, clinging to everything around me, left my hair damp and my arms to break out into Goosebumps. That the gritty sand stuck to my cold feet and was everywhere, no matter what you did to get rid of it.

Because it always came back to the same thing.

I never told Susannah about my dreams and nightmares. I wanted to keep it to myself. I wanted to prove to my own mind, that I could overcome it. That it was a minor problem that I refused to let get out of control, or let it take advantage of me. I had had so much help given to me over such a short time that I wanted something to keep for myself. To prove I could do it. That with a new life, came weaknesses, I could overcome alone.

I knew if I couldn't now, that I never would. There were some things, Susannah could help with. Moments I would want and need her help. But not now and certainly not yet. My pride had already taken a hit and blow. I wanted to hold to what I had left with as much dignity as possible.

Some things are just too ingrained in me and hard to change. And this was one of them.

One thing I knew that would help me recover my pride was when I had a vocation of my own. An income made of my own time and efforts. A way for me to support myself and not have to rely on Father Dominic or others to do it for me. I already felt guilty of the time and money he had put into helping me get on my feet. I didn't wish to take anymore than I already had.

So it was with great hope and luck that Father Dominic had been setting out to help me with finding a job for myself. Education would have to come later. There were tests I needed to do, before I could start to apply for any kind of education or fund to support me in that endeavour. But I was happy to wait. Just getting to grips with the new ways and life I had just been given, was going to take a while.

One that I couldn't help but look forward to. No matter how hard and frustrating it may have seemed sometimes.

Susannah understood this and voiced her support and help as much as she possible could. I wondered if I would have been able to cope as much as I had, if it were not for Susannah there to help and push me along. But then again, I wouldn't be alive or given such a gift, if it wasn't for Susannah either.

I never failed to look upon Susannah without awe and love now. Where before it was tamed and gentle. It didn't matter how happy I felt, or tired I was. I always made sure I looked upon Susannah with the weight and intensity I was feeling. I knew there would never be enough thank you's, or words to ever say how much I knew it took for her to do what she did. Or how happy I was that she had.

But it didn't mean I couldn't show her.

It was mind blowing to get my mind around being alive again. But it was just as overwhelming to remember all that she had done for me. The sacrifices, heartache and will she put forth, to have tried and given me the chance.

When we had been alone together in the days following my release from the hospital and onto the world, Susannah had told me of what had happened in the past. Speaking of when she had first met me. How I had found her bound and gagged in the hayloft, and threatened to have the culprit of such a heinous crime committed on her, horsewhipped.

I witnessed the shadow pass her eyes when she spoke of trying to convince me that she was there to save me. To stop Diego from killing me, as was supposed to have happened. I felt my anger boil and simmer when she came to tell me of the fight to the death between myself and Diego. Of the dirty underhanded tricks he tried by pulling a knife and holding it to Susannah's throat.

The only thing that stopped me from cursing him was that _I_ _did_ save her. Or more specifically, the past me.

Susannah had gone on to mention of the fire that had broken out in the hayloft they were all occupying. Of the wall of flames that had cut Susannah off from Slater and me. Of her dazed and happy state when she thought I was going to be able to live. In that time line at least.

When she had told me of the leap through the fire I had done, to help her on the other side, with no way out for both of us; I swelled with pride. That no matter what life or time line I happen to be in, I was still protective and concerned for Susannah. That I would try as much as possible to save her, even at the risk of my own life. I suspected I may have known it went deeper than that, but Susannah never mentioned it if I had of asked.

I understood there would be some moments between past me and Susannah that she wouldn't want to tell me. I let her have her secrets; just as I had mine own.

She had continued on to tell me of the escape they had quickly tried to work. Of the leap they had taken from the burning inferno trapping them. Of the terror she felt for me and herself. Leading to Susannah quickly 'shifting' back to the present, still wrapped in my arms and thus leading to this conclusion we were at now.

Susannah, despite seeing and knowing of the outcome of that moment, I knew still felt some guilt over the way it had happened. Of the near brush we had come, of having to say goodbye. The heartbreaking moment I had experienced in the basilica, was a subject of many of my nightmares. No matter how much I reassured myself with Susannah's touch and presence, I knew it was going to take effort on both sides to help each other move past that and look forward.

It was the comfort of knowing we didn't have to do it alone, that was the first large step in doing so.

This was why I was standing before Susannah's house right now. Looking up at the home that had once been a boarding house and the scene of my murder. A murder that never actually happened. A death Susannah had selflessly saved me from. I let the smile spread across my face at that mind blowing thought. Before I put it in the back of my thoughts. Determined to enjoy the evening that meant so much to Susannah. And so in turn, meant a lot to me.

Now if only I could have found the courage to walk up those porch steps and meet her family – properly – for the first time. I couldn't deny I was nervous. I willed my hands not to shake and to make my feet move. All the while I felt my nerves soaring up my arms.

"_Nombre de Dios,"_ I quietly muttered to myself. "You killed your would be murderer. How terrifying could meeting Susannah's parents be?"

Even though technically, I had already met her father. That was an experience that was only surpassed by having to meet an unknowing Father Dominic at the time. But was also someone I had come to like and was so grateful beyond words to have met.

With that thought firmly in mind, knowing that I owed it to Susannah to overcome this nerve-wracking moment. And just like I had previous times in the past, I took one last glance at the window with the seat I occupied for so long, in Susannah's room and I climbed the porch stairs. Taking a deep breath with a strong and confident expression, I knocked on the door.

It was answered quite quickly. Not giving me much time to prepare myself as I had hoped. As if the other person had been waiting behind the door for me. But thankfully, it was David who answered, greeting me with a large smile and enthusiastic welcome.

"Hi!" He beamed. "You must be Jesse? It's great to meet you." He gestured for me to step inside the door, quickly swinging it closed behind him as he looked up at me. "I'm David." He stuck his hand out for me to shake, his smile never wavering and speaking before I had the chance to answer.

I found his enthusiasm hard to ignore and felt my own smile spread across my face. "It's nice to meet you too, David," I replied in kind, gripping his hand in a strong but reassuring shake. "Susannah has told me a lot about you."

"She has?" He cried. And much to my amusement, blushed. He walked me into the living room from the foyer, his grin growing with what I had just told him. "Wow."

Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something else, Susannah's mother came up to us, addressing David before she turned to me. "Can you go and tell Suze her dates here, please David," Letting him bound off in the direction of the stairs. "And don't call up the stairs, go and knock on her door."

Finally turning to me, Susannah's mother stuck her own hand out for me to take. I willed my own to stop shaking before I took the offering welcome. "I'm Helen," She said, sizing me up with her piercing glance. "Suze's mom."

I took her hand, trying not to shrink beneath her gaze. "Jesse, ma'am," I replied, proud that my voice wasn't showing any of the nervous energy inside me. "It's nice to meet you."

She nodded at me, releasing my hand and gestured behind her at Susannah's brother on the couch; looking grumpy and miserable. "This is Brad," She said. "Suze's step-brother." Indicating for him to come and greet me properly.

I got a grunt and half-hearted wave before he got up off the couch, heading out of the room with a passing call behind him. "I'm goin' to play Snowboard," He informed us and disappeared through to the den.

Susannah's mother sighed at his retreating back, turning back to me as I heard David stomping back down the stairs, Max close on his heels. "I'm sorry about him," She grimaced. "He's grounded and isn't happy because he can't go to the dance."

"It's all right," I smiled in understanding, something telling me I never would get on with him anyway. "No offence taken." She nodded at me, opening her mouth to say something else, but David beat her to it, practically jumping around me and chatting animatedly. Making it hard for me to keep up with his rapid fire speech.

"I told Suze you're here," He said, grinning and reaching down to pet Max at his feet. "This is our dog, Max."

"Thank you," I said and bent down to pat Max on the head and scratch his ears. Grateful for the distraction of having to make polite conversation with Susannah's mother. But I looked up when Susannah's stepfather came into the room, a large smile on his face as he walked over to greet me.

"Hi," He beamed much like David had. "I'm Andy, Suze's step-dad." I shook his outstretched hand, finding him a lot more comfortable to be around than Susannah's mother. Shrinking under her parental scrutiny of me.

"Jesse," I said, smiling in return. "It's nice to meet you." I was starting to hope Susannah would be down the stairs to relieve me soon. I didn't know how long I could keep my nervous fidgeting withheld.

"Oh," He suddenly exclaimed, an excited look coming to his face. "Maybe you could try something for me." Before I had a chance to ask what, he had turned around and strode back into the kitchen from where he came from. Humming and with a light and happy step.

I went to ask, but Susannah's mother beat me to it. "He's probably going to make you try his new sauce he's been making all evening," She said well naturedly, rolling her eyes at his enthusiasm. "He likes to hear new opinions instead of the same old remarks he gets from us. You don't have to try it, he won't be offended."

"Oh," I chuckled, thankful for a way out. "Thank you."

"Come and sit down," David enthusiastically told me, pulling on my arm and leading me over to one their armchairs situated in the living room. I threw an expectant look to the stairs, still hoping Susannah would appear and help me.

I sat on the arm of the chair instead, ready to stand as quick as possible if needed. Max was following close behind, sniffing around me, trying to push his nose into inappropriate places. David meanwhile, was talking a mile a minute about a show on the Discovery channel he watched the other night. I was having trouble understanding what he was saying and keeping up with him. The only word I caught during his ramblings was aeronautics.

I tried to root through my own knowledge of something to say in return, but I kept coming up with nothing.

Susannah's stepfather had come back into the room finally, carrying a spoon filled with some kind of green substance. I didn't look like any kind of sauce I had ever seen. He made a bee-line for me, making me gaze at his sauce warily.

"Andy," Susannah's mother suddenly spoke up from her examination of the camera she held in her hand. Speaking before Andy had the opportunity to. "Leave the young man alone. I don't think it would pay for him to show up at a dance, with green . . . err . . . goo, all over his tux." She pinned him with a pointed stare making him retract his spoon from me. "And I won't stand in the way of Susie's wrath if you were to, either."

I held back the chuckle rising in my throat. A sound I'm sure that would of sounded more broken than humorous. But I couldn't help the relief to flow through me at having an accident diverted. I wanted this night to be as perfect for Susannah as possible. And arriving with a horrid green stain on my monkey suit wouldn't be the best start.

Sighing, Susannah's mother walked over to the stairs, calling for her daughter. "Suze!" She stopped, listening out for her reply before calling for her again. "Suze!" I smiled at her impatience and turned back to listening to David, even though I didn't think I had heard any of his explanation. If he had noticed, he certainly didn't say.

"Why don't you come for dinner tomorrow night, Jesse?" Andy cut in, interrupting David fluidly, which in turn, looked back to me with a hopeful smile. "We can get to know you a little better."

"Thank you, sir," I said, my voice coming out stronger than I felt. "I'd be happy to join your family for dinner."

He nodded with a pleased smile. Susannah often spoke of her step-fathers culinary skills. I was looking forward to buying my own cooing books. To see what talents I had myself in the kitchen. There were so many things I wanted to learn now; I wasn't sure where to begin.

David jumped back into his explanation of his programme and was only interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming, followed by Jake with his arms full of thick textbooks. They looked ready to spill onto the floor, but he managed to catch himself before that happened.

"Jake, come and meet Suze's date," Andy called out, gesturing for Jake to come over from his direction towards the stairs. "This is Jesse," He smiled, indicating for him to give me a proper welcome.

"Wha 'sup, man," He looked back to his dad, looking tired as he always did. "I'll be in my room." And then he turned with one last nod in my direction and set off up the stairs.

"Suze!" Susannah's mother called again. A final note in her tone. I heard a faint voice respond, but I was too busy trying to keep up with David and to keep Max away from me.

Just as I was about to ask David to help me remove Max from his inspection of me, he suddenly stopped talking. His voice trailing off at the end into a whisper and his eyes widening to new limits with a smile spreading across his young freckled face. Making Andy and Susannah's mother look up at the direction David was looking, halting in whatever they were doing to see what had made him so speechless and stop his rapid speech. Causing us all to become aware of the sudden quiet to have come over the room.

I was the last to raise my head and look to the stairs.

But what I saw, took my breath away.

Susannah stood on the landing separating the stairs. A platform for her to stand on and show off the beautiful and angelic sight she made. She stood before us, her dress shimmering in the soft light, with her shawl wrapped across her back, accentuating the design of the dress that clung to Susannah's slender form and flowed around her ankles. She looked breathtaking and so beautiful; I found words completely devoid of me.

When my eyes finally connected with her own, I saw she had been waiting for me to notice her. Waiting for my reaction. And judging from the timid smile and the blush to dust her cheeks, it was a worthy one.

I gave her the smile that she knew I only reserved for her. A secret moment and action that spoke volumes of my love, affection and devotion to her. Of how beautiful she was to me, without being able to say the words.

"Oh, Susie," Susannah's mother said, lifting the camera she had been having trouble with since she had retrieved it and took a photo of the stunning girl before us all. "You look beautiful." I couldn't help but share her mother's sentiments and let my smile broaden at Susannah's flushed cheeks.

Before any of us knew what was happening, Andy strode forward, spoon full of green substance still in hand and raised it for Susannah to try.

At least he tried before Susannah's mother stopped him again. This times her voice issuing a threat to be carried out on him, by her. "Andy, don't you go near her with that stuff while she's in that dress." She sternly warned him.

Susannah smiled at Andy's slightly sulky look and looked back to me to see my own grin I couldn't wipe away. I didn't want to either. I hadn't managed to take my eyes away from Susannah yet. I found I couldn't. But it wasn't exactly a hardship to have to bear though. I couldn't wait to see the moonlight illuminating Susannah in my arms. I could imagine the soft ethereal blue her dress would shine to.

"So," Susannah asked casually, although I could tell she was just as nervous and excited as I was. "I see you've met Jesse."

Andy quickly turned to go back to the kitchen with his spoon, throwing an, "He'll do." over his shoulder. I fought to hold back the chuckle rising in my throat at his display. Knowing he was putting it on for Susannah's sake. When in all actuality, he was nothing but nice and welcoming to me.

"So nice to meet you," Susannah's mother said to me again. A genuine smile lighting her features. I knew she had witnessed the shared smile and connection between Susannah and me. I had caught a quick glimpse of her own whimsical one before she spoke again. "Now come down here, I want to get your picture together."

I got up from my perch on the armrest, waiting for Susannah to glide over to me. With a hand to her back, I led her over to the fireplace to stand at her side.

"This is for you," I quietly said, holding out the single white orchid I had gotten for this night specifically. I reflected Susannah's wry smile of amusement at the significance and the flowers meaning. Not lost on either of us. But it seemed so fitting; I couldn't help but choose this one flower.

Susannah's mother rushed over to pin it to her dress, before stepping back and gesturing for us to get into position. Placing a secure arm around Susannah's slim form and pulling her to my side, I felt her own arm wind around my waist, before leaning into my warmth. She fit to me perfectly and made my heart swell with the normal action of being able to do such a thing before her family.

"Now, say cheese," Susannah's mother called, lifting the camera to her face and taking the picture.

Once she had taken a couple more, Susannah and I broke apart and got ready to leave. Andy re-emerged from the kitchen again; his spoon left behind - thankfully - and looked at me with a mock parental look. Crossing his arms over this chest and narrowing his eyes. "Now, you have her home by midnight, understand, young man?"

I smiled back in reassurance, my tone sincere and honest. "I will, sir."

"One," Susannah bantered.

"Twelve thirty," Andy countered back.

"Twelve thirty," Susannah agreed and I walked up to the foyer to give her some privacy with her mother. I gave David a warm smile and a nod as I passed, waiting for Susannah. I saw her mother whisper something to her while she fussed with her daughter's shawl, making Susannah counter what it is she said.

Just as she was about to turn and walk away, Brad came barrelling out of the den, looking at us all with an angry scowl. A permanent fixture it seemed. "Haven't you guys left yet?" He demanded before storming his way back into the kitchen.

I looked at David as he shook his head at Brad's childishness, giving him one last greeting. "It was nice to meet you, David. I'll see you soon." I gave a final wave and smile to Susannah's family, swelling with pride that I had managed to keep the nervous feelings hidden. And grateful the difficult part was over. Although I couldn't deny how great it felt to be able to meet her family, just how it should have been.

Once I was sure we weren't being watched by her family, as we walked from her home, I took her smooth and warm hand in mine and leaned down to brush her soft lips with my own. Once I straightened back up and let the dazed feelings drain away that always lingered when I was with Susannah, I lead her over to the car I was borrowing from Father Dominic for the evening.

"Between doing that again and an eternity in hellfire," I said as we walked hand in hand. "I'd take the hellfire."

"Well, you'll never have to do it again," Susannah laughed, squeezing my hand in comfort. "Now that they know you. And besides, they liked you."

"Your mother didn't," I assured her.

"Yes, she did," Susannah countered. "She just thinks you're a little old for me."

I bit back the bark of laughter I nearly let loose at her mother's concern. "If only she knew," I said, shaking my head in mirth at the idea of Helen Ackerman, finding out about her daughter's gift. Or my own long history.

I had once asked Susannah why she had never thought to tell her mother of her gift. She told me that she was a sceptic. She didn't believe anything unless it was proven or witnessed by her own eyes. And that in telling her, Susannah's mother would have marched her off to her therapist in the blink on an eye. I understood her reasoning, but had still felt it was a lot of pressure for Susannah to have on her.

Only now, I could help her too. I knew her secret; she didn't need to keep anything hidden any longer. I could help her carry her burden. "Your stepfather, on the other hand, invited me to dinner tomorrow night." I continued, pulling myself from my wandering musings.

"Sunday dinner?" Susannah sounded in awe. "He really _must_ like you."

We reached Father Dominic's car by then, the streetlamp shining its warm glow onto it. I reached around Susannah and opened the passenger door for her, sweeping my arm out in a bowing gesture. "Madam," I smiled.

"Why, thank you," She replied, and slid on to the seat. I waited for her to gather her skirt in before I closed the door and walked around to my side.

"You're sure you know how to drive one of these things?" Susannah asked as I reached for the ignition, a slight teasing tone to her voice.

"Susannah," I said, as I started the engine, listening to it come to life. "I did not sit idly by eating bonbons for the 150 years I was a ghost. I did make a few observations now and then. And I most definitely know – " I started backing the car out of the driveway, " – how to drive." It was one thing I was very confident about.

"Okay. Just checking. Because I could always take over if you need – "

"You will sit where you are," I said, turning onto her street. "And look pretty, as a young lady ought to." I fought the grin to appear at my words. Knowing exactly what Susannah thought of that remark.

"Wait, which century is this?" Susannah smirked at me.

"Humor me," I said, a pained look crossing my face at the state my pride and dignity have been in recently. Allowing me to do this, Susannah would be helping a great deal towards mending that wound. "I'm doing it for you, in this monkey suit."

"Penguin." She instantly corrected me, a slight giggle to her voice.

"Susannah."

"I'm just saying. That's what it's called. You need to get hip with the lingo if you're going to fit in." Susannah informed me sweetly.

Just able to hold back the cringe at what she just said, I spoke one of her favourite words back to her. Using the correct tone and facial expression to match it. "Whatever," I said. Susannah glared at me and threw a mock punch to my arm. But otherwise sat back relaxed and enjoying the peaceful and comfortable silence for the short drive to her school.

When I had parked, Susannah stayed where she was, letting me come around to open her door for her. "Thank you, _querida,"_ I said, leaning down to give a quick kiss to her lips again. "My pride has taken enough blows this week."

Taking Susannah's hand in my own again, we walked over to the entrance of the dance, being held in the Mission's courtyard. I saw lanterns strung along the archways and little twinkling lights wrapped around the thick pillars. They had candles lit and floating in the fountains water, with gel like colours over the lamps around the edge illuminating Juniperro Serra's statue in different shades.

Its head welded back on after Heather tore it off and chased after Susannah with it at the beginning of her new life here. It seemed so long ago to me now. So much was different and changed; I could almost believe it never happened. Almost.

We walked over to Father Dominic and Sister Ernestine manning the entrance. Aware of the Sisters' eagle eyes and sharp hearing, Susannah made to introduce us both, as if we had never met before. "Father Dominic, this is my date, Jesse," She said, a small smile dancing across her face.

"Very nice to meet you," He said, shaking my hand warmly. I couldn't help but notice that this was the first time we really had been properly introduced. Even before this miraculous change, Susannah never really had given us both a proper greeting. But I couldn't find it in me to mind. Because it was that much more important and meaningful to be able to do it now.

"Same with you, Father," I said, unable to keep the smile from my own face. Sister Ernestine left then. With a curt nod to me and a disbelieving scowl at Susannah's dress. A look that was met with Susannah's humorous smile, a silent proud air around her at being able to prove the Vice Principal wrong of her estimates of Susannah.

Once we were sure she had gone, we converted back to how we had been the past week. "I have good news. The job's come through."

I felt my excitement rise all over again. The knowledge that I would soon be able to pay my own way, and give back the money Father Dominic had so graciously loaned me, was doing wonders to the healing of my pride again. And I knew that if I didn't have something to occupy me soon, that I would be becoming increasingly frustrated with my lack of inactivity.

"Really? What is it? When do I start?" I asked eagerly.

"Monday morning, and though the pay won't be much, it's something I think you'll be unusually well suited for – giving talks about old Carmel at the Historical Society Museum. Do you think you can stand to do that for a while? Until we can get you into medical school, anyway?" Father Dominic asked me.

I couldn't think of a more perfect allocation for me. It would be something I will enjoy doing immensely. But most of all, it will help me to keep my memories of my once life and family, fresh in my mind. I didn't want to lose my dreams and moments of before. I would never wish to lose the knowledge of my old life. It was a large part of me and shaped me to who I am today.

But this way, I could share this knowledge with others and never have to worry about losing my memories. "I think so," I said with a smile.

"Excellent." He enthusiastically replied, pushing his glasses back up his nose and smiling at us both. "Have a nice evening, children."

With assurances we would, I led Susannah into the dance, taking in our new surroundings with slight disbelief and an exciting energy about me. It all finally felt like everything truly was fitting into place. And now I was determined to give Susannah the wonderful night she deserves. I looked down into her glistening green eyes and smiled. Squeezing her hand in my own.

I spotted a couple of people coming at us in the crowd. Recognizing them to be Susannah's friends, I broke out into a wide grin. Finally being able to meet them properly. How I had always wanted to happen. Susannah introduced me to them both, making CeeCee's violet eyes widen to new proportions at the mention of my name. And Adam's angry scowl at my sudden permanent appearance in Susannah's life.

"I've heard a lot about you both." I said, after I had shaken both their hands. CeeCee could only continue to stare up at me in disbelief. Which begged the question; how much did she know about me already?

"Can't say I return the compliment," Adam scowled. But I saw no real threat or malice behind his eyes. I suspected he was more surprised than jealous of me.

"B-but," CeeCee stammered, looking from my amused face to Susannah's and back again. "Are – aren't you – "

"Not anymore," Susannah said, interrupting her before she said too much. CeeCee continued to look bewildered and confused, but seemed to accept Susannah's sincere answer for what it was and only smiled in return. Her braces on her teeth winking in the dim twinkling lights around us.

"Well," She said, then more loudly. "Well! That's wonderful!" I was beginning to like CeeCee. Her enthusiasm was as infectious as my own when I had first woken again at the hospital. Finding myself to be the happiest man alive. I could see and hear her sincerity and it made me swell with pride once again at being the one to make Susannah happy.

I smiled down at Susannah, dropping her hand and wrapping it around her waist instead.

We heard a bubble of laughter drift to us from across the courtyard and Susannah looked up to see something that had her surprised and smiling again. "What's she doing here?" She asked CeeCee, gesturing to a woman with the same long white blond hair as her friend and laughing with who looked to be Susannah's teacher.

Adam surprised me then, by breaking away from his scowl and into laughter. Seeing the direction of our stares. "Mr. Walden's chaperoning. And guess who he brought as his date?"

"They aren't dating," CeeCee quickly insisted. "They're just friends."

"Right." Adam replied grinning like the cat that got the cream.

"Suze," CeeCee said pulling her shawl closer around her. "Come to the ladies' room with me?"

She smiled at CeeCee obviously knowing what to expect next. "I'll be right back," She said, tiptoeing to give me a quick kiss on the cheek and walking off with CeeCee. Leaving me standing with a rush of cool air sweeping in where her warm body was once standing. I followed her with my eyes until I couldn't see her any longer.

Resigned to my fate, I turned back to Adam, preparing to say something, but the determined frown on his face that reflected in his eyes, made me stop short.

"If I hear you've ever done anything to hurt, Suze . . ." He said, letting his voice trail off at the end, leaving it up to my own imagination to fill in the blanks. I fought down the urge to chuckle at his concern in regards to me and the way I would behave and treat Susannah.

Something I knew I would hate myself for causing.

"I can assure you, Adam," I said. Looking him in the eye, I let all my own determination, sincerity and truth I feel in regards to Susannah, shine through in that one look and answer. "I would never do anything to harm, Susannah." I intensified my look minutely and Adam, with much bravery and confidence, didn't turn away from my dangerous stare. "Ever."

He absently nodded at me, seeming to think something over in his head, before he broke out into a small smile. Seemingly satisfied with my answer. "Good," He said, making me feel a lot more confident and comfortable now. Speaking and witnessing just how good friends' Susannah has. Who truly care about her wellbeing and happiness. "You don't seem like the type that would. But I wanted to warn you anyway."

"It's okay," I said, smiling to take the edge off the intense look I had been giving him. "It's good to know Susannah has such good friends, who care about her so much."

"Yeah," He replied.

Suddenly finding ourselves stuck in an awkward silence, I looked around the courtyard and for the second time that night, wishing Susannah would appear and save me. Again.

But when I heard her musical laughter echoing to me, despite the music that seemed to be thrumming around me, I knew she wouldn't be anytime soon. I watched intrigued as Susannah walked up to a very nervous looking and uncomfortable Slater, standing by the pillars in the breezeway. I knew he wasn't waiting for Susannah; by the way he tensed as she approached. But still I was intrigued.

Susannah had also told me about the way Slater had acted in the past. Of his frantic panic when they had shifted back. His concern and fear as they stood in the hospital, waiting for a sign of my recovery, that didn't appear to have been likely.

But she had also mentioned he had avoided her all week at school. Choosing to pretend it hadn't happened, it seemed. "Suze said she won't be long." CeeCee said as she approached Adam and me, slipping her arm into the crook of his elbow. I gave her a nod of acceptance and continued to watch the proceedings before me.

CeeCee having noticed my distracted sight, slipped up next to me to watch Susannah and Slater talk. Soon approached by a blond girl walking peculiarly. "You don't have to worry about, Paul, you know," She said quietly, not looking at me. "Suze has only ever been interested in one person." I looked down at CeeCee in surprise, of how easily she seemed to be able to read the doubts in my mind.

She returned my stare with a bold one of her own.

"Thank you, CeeCee," I said just as quietly. "But, I think I've always known that." I chuckled at the surprise in her eyes, she tried to hide. "Excuse me, please." And I took a deliberate walk up to join my _querida_, Slater and his own date. My heart and steps lighter, then I realized they could be.

I noticed Slater's date look up at see me approaching. Her eyes riveted to my every step. But I wasn't paying any attention to her. I only had eyes and intentions for the girl my gaze was trained on. And when she was alerted to my approach, Susannah looked over her shoulder at me, matching my own happy smile with a brighter one of her own.

I stepped into the pool of moonlight they were all standing in. Coming to Susannah's side and interweaving our hands together, so our fingers were locked secure. I looked to Slater, giving him the best well mannered and polite nod I could possible muster for him. "Paul."

"Hey, Jesse," He said, shifting a little on his feet and not quite able to make eye-contact. Then remembering his date, introduced her to me. "This is Kelly,"

I turned to the girl at his side, who hadn't taken her eyes off of me since I had approached. I wasn't even sure she had blinked. But I held my hand out for her to shake, putting manners before anything else. "Very nice to meet you," I said. She didn't say anything. Just let her hand drop to her side lifeless and gaped at Susannah and I. I looked down to Susannah with confusion, noticing the smug look she was trying not to show on her face.

Unsuccessfully.

Letting go of my hand, Susannah looped her arm through mine and with one last polite smile that I knew she was fighting not to escalate to laughing, she bid them a goodbye. "Well, see you around." And led me out to the dancing area.

"Things with Paul are . . . ?" I asked, raising my eyebrows questioningly as we came to a stop and Susannah slid her arms around my neck. Instantly playing with the curls at the nape of my neck. I felt a shiver and tingle rush down my spine at her soft and gentle caress. Pulling her closer to me and letting her warmth flow into me.

"Fine." She replied, laying her head on my shoulder and relaxing into me.

"And you know that because . . . ?"

"He told me." She simple said.

"And you believe him?" I asked.

"You know what?" Susannah softly whispered lifting her head from the comfortable position it had once been in. "I do."

"I see." I stood there, while Susannah swayed before me. "Susannah? What are you doing?"

"I'm dancing with you," I pulled back and looked down at our feet that were obscured by Susannah's long, floating skirt. Hoping to see the movement, so I could work out how to do it.

"I don't know this dance," I said.

"It's easy," Susannah smiled, lifting my hands to place around her waist, before replacing her own arms around my neck again. Delighting me with her soft touch once more. "Now sway."

I swayed on my feet before Susannah, my arms held securely around her waist. It took me a couple of seconds to find my rhythm with Susannah. To match our steps and movement. To relax into her touch and let the beat of the music around us guide me. But in the end, I got the hang of it.

"See?" She said, looking up at me affectionately. "You're doing it." She laid her head back down on my shoulder, her arms loosely held behind my neck.

"What's this dance called?" I asked into Susannah's ear.

"Slow," She quietly replied. "It's called a slow dance."

Closing my eyes for a second, I let myself completely relax under Susannah's touch. Losing myself in the moment we only seemed to inhabit. The sounds of the laughter and music seemed to drain away, leaving only us. I rested my head on Susannah's, inhaling the scent of her and feeling the soft and silky strands of her hair against my lips. I lifted a hand from her back and gentle stroked my hand down her hair, letting my fingers sift through it. Feeling it glide out of my fingers.

I heard and felt Susannah sigh against my shoulder and relax into my embrace, making me smile into her hair. This is what she deserves. To be able to be around her friends and family. To do all the things she's supposed to do with the one she loves. To slow dance beneath the magick of the moon securely held and wrapped in her loves arms.

My arms.

I never wanted this moment to end. For Susannah and I to have to break apart. But the disappointment sure to come when that had to happen, was blown apart and scattered with the knowledge, that Susannah and I have the rest of our lives to be able to have moments like this. To be surrounded by people, but to only feel as though it was just us. For no-one to come in between us. With nothing to keep us apart.

When I opened my eyes again and lifted my head away from Susannah's, something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked over, noticing the tell tale sign of a ghost standing by a pillar with lights wound around it. Illuminating the spirits soft glow. I didn't have time to feel the shock of what I was able to see. Of the realization that I was witnessing a ghost, even though I was alive. Or what it meant. Because when I saw who it was staring back at me . . . a small part of me knew why he was here.

Peter smiled at me from where he was standing. His eyes twinkled back with happiness and adoration for the young woman in my arms. I looked down at Susannah in my embrace, subconsciously holding onto her a little tighter, knowing what was soon to be coming for her.

I looked back up at Peter, hoping to convey everything I could in that one soul searching look. Of the gratitude and appreciation I had, for all he had done, for Susannah and me. Of the chance to be able to hold Susannah and give her everything. Hoping he saw all that I wanted to say. I gave him one last nod and turned away from Susannah's father, waiting for her to notice him.

Moments later, she raised her head again and glanced over my shoulder, her feet stopping their movement when she caught sight of who was lurking in the shadows of the pillar, watching and waiting for his little girl.

"Hey, kiddo," Peter said.

"Could you just excuse me a minute? There's somebody I have to, um, have a word with." Susannah asked me, looking up into my eyes.

"Of course." I smiled; releasing her and watching her walk over to her father, who was waiting to see her.

I couldn't make out the words that were shared between them. And I didn't wish too. I could only watch as Susannah reached out and took hold of one of his hands. Holding it tightly in both of hers, subconsciously holding on for a little longer. She looked up at him with all the gratitude and happiness I felt myself. Saying the words I was unable to.

I gazed anxiously as Susannah implored her father with her eyes, of the way he tried to drop her hand embarrassed and bewildered at all she was speaking of. But Susannah steadfastly held onto his. Stubbornly refusing to let go until she had said what she needed and wanted to. Until he heard what she had to say. Until he listened and accepted the joy that was now a constant running through Susannah.

Perhaps for the first time, since he had died and witnessed his daughter's unhappiness.

I stood where I was as slowly and oblivious to what was occurring with him, Peter started to fade away. His glow dimming and receding, as his eyes dropped from his daughters, his features unfocused and starting to shimmer before her. He reached out to straighten Susannah's orchid I had given her, but his hand went straight through it.

And then I felt it. The pull on my own heart as the realization of what was taking place with her father, appeared in Susannah's eyes. She glanced down at the orchid Peter had attempted to touch, before her gaze lifted to her fathers. Noticing the distracted and oblivious look in his eyes. I watched, my heart tightening and aching in my chest, a pressure building, as tears glistened and coated her beautiful eyes. Letting them spill over to her flushed cheeks and dripping to the floor before her. The reflection in them from the small lights twinkling everywhere, made it look as though they were falling stars.

Dropping and scattering around father and daughter.

Susannah held his hand tightly between both of hers. Never releasing him to brush away her tears. But she knew, no matter what she did, his hand was slowly disappearing from her hold, along with his spirit. Susannah gave her father a trembling smile, indicating for him to see what she was. His face was fading more and more, leaving it hard to see his expression or eyes.

Peter looked down upon himself, watching as he was slowly being pulled away from Susannah. With a startled gaze he looked back up at her, tears of his own falling down his grinning face. The knowledge of what was happening, making him smile and try to reach out to Susannah. But I could still see the sorrow he was feeling, at having to leave her to grieve. It was in each tear that fell from his eyes. Of the way he raised his own hand to try and brush away Susannah's. In the way he gazed back at his daughter, with a stare so full of pride for her, it caused a stinging in the back of my throat.

Until with one last smile and remark for his daughter, he was gone.

I stood there for moments in time, looking at the space that Peter has just been standing in. Watching as Susannah's hand slowly fell back to her side and of the way her shoulders shook with the repressed grief and tears she was trying to hold back. I ached to go over and help her. So we could grieve together. So I could ease the ache I felt for Susannah.

But I also knew this was something she needed to come to terms with herself. Making me resolutely swallow down the lump at the back of my throat and rising emotion in my chest, at seeing such a heartfelt display. Of the goodbye neither wanted to say, but knew was time. There was nothing holding him back now.

It was a long time before Susannah came back out to me. Her face showing no evidence of the tears she had just been shedding. Not seen to anyone who wasn't looking. But Susannah couldn't hide anything from me. I opened my arms to her when she came back to me, looking up at me with a clear understanding in her eyes. Yes, it was painful to say goodbye to a loved one, but the truth of why he had finally been able to move on, was clear in Susannah's gaze.

And that was what was going to help her to accept his final passing.

"He's gone?" I asked.

"He's gone," Susannah automatically replied, about to slide her arms over my shoulders when she realized what I had said. She gasped gripping my arms beneath her small hands, looking up at me confused and overwhelmed. "Jesse . . ." She stared, her eyes large and sparkly in the moonlight. "Can you . . . did you . . .?"

"See you talking to your father just then?" I asked, finishing her enquiry. My mouth twitching a little with the effort to suppress a full blown grin. "Yes."

"Then you can . . ." Susannah's voice trailed off, words robbed of her it seemed. "You can . . ."

"See and speak to ghosts?" This time I let my full blown smile come forth. Enjoying every happy, excited and loving feeling and sensation that was coursing through me. "Apparently so. Why? Is that a problem?"

"No. Except that . . . that would mean – " Susannah broke off again, bewilderment covering her eyes and threatening to make me laugh at her expression any minute. "That means you're a – "

"_Querida_," I said, pulling Susannah in towards me again, and burying my head in her hair, softly stroking my hand down her back. Removing the temptation to laugh at her expression. "Let's just dance."

Susannah didn't resist me when I pulled her close to me. Instead only leaning her head on my chest, feeling the steady beat of my heart beneath her ear.

"The only thing I don't understand," I said as we swayed to the low music around us. "Is why it took him all this time?" I lifted my head from Susannah's hair, looking down into her eyes again. "Your father," I continued. "His moving on, I mean. Why now?"

Sliding her hands up my arms to trail over my shoulders, Susannah softly let her fingers scrape up my neck to entwine in my hair. Threatening to make me lose all train of thought and sense with that one caress alone.

"Do you really not know?" She asked me.

But I did. I always had. I knew exactly why Peter had stayed around for as long as he did. I understood what he felt he needed to see and feel, before he could move on. For ten years, he waited around to see Susannah happy. To see the true sparkle shine through her. To be there when Susannah had found and discovered her place in the world. Where he could feel how happy and complete she felt.

And that was what he had finally witnessed here tonight. He saw his little girl, in the arms of someone she loves with all her heart and soul. A love that is happily and fully returned upon her. She was content and happy with all that she had in her life. She had someone who loves and understands her unconditionally. Someone who can share her burden and ease her soul. And in doing so, feel and give it in return.

Susannah had all that she could wish for at long last. We both did. And that is what helped Peter to move on.

I lowered my head to Susannah's again. Pulling her as close as I could, until she was moulded to me. I bent my head down until I was close enough to whisper into Susannah's ear. Feeling the little shiver run through her when my breath tickled her cheek and hair.

"I love you, _querida." _

Lifting her head from my chest, Susannah looked up at me with a look so full of love and happiness; I felt the tears prick the backs of my eyes. She pulled me down to meet her lips with my own. Whispering a promise across my own warm lips, before claiming them with hers.

"I love you too, Jesse."

Our dreams were fulfilled. Our wishes were granted and a love of a lifetime had been found and cherished. I couldn't have asked for anything more . . .

* * *

_**A/N 2: **_Thank you so much for reading and putting up with my rambling. Please review and encourage the big smile that's about to come forth from my much anticipated sugar high! Peace out, y'all! **:D** And again,_** THANK YOU!**_

_**Anonymous Reviews:**_

_**Meg -**_ Thanks so much for sticking by this series, Meg! I really appreciate it, and loved every one of your reviews! And your idea, of doing a one-shot directly after he wakes up, is something I shall be doing. I just didn't feel I could add that in last time. But I will write it, thanks to you passing on the idea. **:D** But thank you again. I hope you enjoy this last chapter. Take care, and lots huggles! **xxx**

If you enjoyed this series, there is more that follows it;

'_**Revealing Fate'**_ – A one-shot missing scene from _'Twilight'_ where Jesse wakes in the hospital for the first time.

'_**Laying The Past To Rest' – **_A one-shot of Jesse fulfilling one last task before he can fully accept his new life.

'_**Moments In Time'**_ – Snapshots and humorous moments between Jesse and Suze in their life together, six years into the future.


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